Lost

[Deleted Member]

I'm rather lost in the kink world, I attend socials and talk to people but can never actually get to the part that I have always thought we are all there for - the play, or arranging play. What could I adjust to make things happen? Or am I just impatient?

[bi****]

Most people are there for the social. Kink is primarily a social thing, the play is between partners who spice their lovelives up in varous ways. Its not a sweet shop of kinksters all looking to play or a swingers club (though there is some overlap, if you want to try swingers for that)

So you have to do the dating thing as normal, just with a smaller selection of people who happen to share your relationship interests.

[ey****]

ok, you're at socials and talking to people

that's the first part. that's a big part.

However, of course - socials are not hook up events.  And there is a big chance someone you have spoken to will be someone you end up dating, or playing with, to some capacity

But patience is a massive part.

Let conversations flow naturally.  Bring up what you're looking for and what you'd like to try.   Consider of course folk you might not know too well might not want to meet up for play in private... but might do so in context at an event.  

[ed****]

I guess going to a Social and expecting a hook up is like going to a hockey game and expecting there to be a rink outside the arena where everyone goes for a scrimmage game afterwards.
.
Going to Socials is a great start. That's where you are likely to meet others with similar interests as you. But go there with the thought process of meeting and talking to people, which it sounds like you have done. Many will go to these Socials because it is a safe place. They are also there to meet others, and may indeed be looking for a partner - just not after a few minutes of conversation. Get to really know them by speaking with them several times and letting the relationship develop from there. Give them a way to contact you outside of the event if they would like to continue getting to know you.
.
Patience is a trait often looked for in a dominant, so expecting too much too soon can raise red flags for a submissive.