Do any women really like us Nice guys?

[Deleted Member]

This is a serious question for a semi serious application. Do any women really like us Nice guys? Obviously we have our issues like any man and we're on this.Website, so we have interests outside the normal mainstream vanilla lifestyle, but that doesn't mean we aren't really nice guys. I personally would just like to have somebody.That was nice to me And that I could trust. I don't mean during role play I mean for real.

[Te****]

I read something earlier that said being a nice guy is the bear minimum a man can offer a woman. It should be a default setting. If you’re trying to use being a nice guy as a selling point, you’re underselling yourself. It’s not a quality. It’s a label to define what we should all be anyway. Focus on your qualities that exist above and beyond just being nice. Because women know that a man who spends a lot of time trying to remind you how nice he is, well, often those guys are often actually not as nice as they’d have you believe. Be real. Be honest. Be safe. Be funny. Be exciting. Be spontaneous. Be adventurous. Nice… should be a given… not a bonus…

[Sl****]

No

[No****]

Describing yourself as a nice guy is often seen as a red flag. Like said above, being nice isn’t something that needs to be stated. It should be implied and the minimum.

[Deleted Member]

No

[Be****]

I was told nice guys don't finish first.

[ra****]

There are the self proclaimed “nice guys” and the ones who are actually nice guys.

I won’t make an assumption about which category you fall into based on the fact that you said it once in your post.
The self proclaimed ones will say it every chance they get 😂

It’s not that I don’t like nice guys, I just tend to be a little more cautious with them based on my individual circumstances and how it doesn’t leave me with much time or emotional energy to put into anything serious right now. I try to be upfront about that because I’m not out here trying to waste anyone’s time and I don’t want to end up hurting someone who might be the type to catch feelings more quickly or easily than I do.
Shit, being a woman who has to stay grounded in reality and no time to be a little delusional is no fun 😒😂

[CJ_SilverQueen]

Yes, if it is real and genuine

[DM****]

When someone feels the need to identify themselves as a "Nice Guy" that is a huge red flag that tells the whole world that he is not a nice guy and he knows it (or even worse he desperately wants to believe it), but he wants you to think he is. I think it's better to just be the best person you can be and always assume there's room for improvement. I don't identify as a "nice guy", I'm just a guy who usually tries to do the right thing and sometimes fails.

[Kf****]

Anytime a man is a self proclaimed “nice guy” I’m out!!!! It’s a GIANT red flag and I can’t get away fast enough. Victim mentality is not attractive and trying to prove you’re a good guy usually means the exact opposite.

[ho****]

I fuck, love and addicted to sweet men, not nice guys 🤢

[Deleted Member]

I used to refer to myself a nice guy, YEARS ago, and it never did me any good. So I stopped. Instead, I decided to pay more attention to me being a good man, but it calling myself one.

What matters most is how you act, and not what you label yourself.

With that said, you may very well be a guy who is well mannered, and kind and ‘nice’, but respectfully… that should already be implied, and to be expected, if you are out there looking for someone.

[Deleted Member]

*but NOT calling myself one.

Why can’t ya edit comments on this app!?!? 😩

[ra****]

8 minutes ago, WhiskeyTango43 said:

I used to refer to myself a nice guy, YEARS ago, and it never did me any good. So I stopped. Instead, I decided to pay more attention to me being a good man, but it calling myself one.

What matters most is how you act, and not what you label yourself.

With that said, you may very well be a guy who is well mannered, and kind and ‘nice’, but respectfully… that should already be implied, and to be expected, if you are out there looking for someone.

I think we all go through phases where we feel like we’re being misunderstood and have to say things to basically defend ourselves or have to prove what someone thinks or says about us wrong.

The older you get, I think you realize how little words mean and start focusing more on a person’s actions. I don’t feel like I have anything to prove to anyone and if someone seems hell bent on misunderstanding me, then I’m ok with that 🤷🏻‍♀️😂

[Deleted Member]

1 minute ago, raleigh953174 said:

I think we all go through phases where we feel like we’re being misunderstood and have to say things to basically defend ourselves or have to prove what someone thinks or says about us wrong.

The older you get, I think you realize how little words mean and start focusing more on a person’s actions. I don’t feel like I have anything to prove to anyone and if someone seems hell bent on misunderstanding me, then I’m ok with that 🤷🏻‍♀️😂

Wow!! YES!!! 10000% 👌🏽

Couldn’t agree more! 🙌🏽

[my****]

These days I stay away form anyone one who describes them selves as a "nice guy" most of the them that day hey im a nice guy why won't you dad never are not nice they just seem nice.

[La****]

Lmao. Everybody loves a kind person. You cannot help to fall for someone who is genuine and caring. But it will turned into something else if your actions dont actually matched up with what you preach. A truly kind person would just let a connection go with respect, without a wrath when it just doesnt work out. In the other hand, if we’re talking about someone with wrong intentions though? Lmao.

[Be****]

Idk. But I know this won't get you laid podna. You might be asking the wrong questions.

[Be****]

No offense either im being 100% serious.

[Deleted Member]

Is nobody gonna tell him?

[ey****]

if you have to tell everyone you're nice, you're probably not.

[ey****]

But like, yeah - nice isn't a hobby, or an interest, or a personality - it's just like... a minimum

Like, what do you mean when you say "nice guy" - and it might be, I dunno, "I'd treat her right" - ok but what does that mean?  

Cos one of the problems is sometimes 'nice guys' end up trying to be people pleasers, or turn themselves into doormats (and it's not necessarily the other persons fault, if you try to people please by doing things you don't enjoy or can't afford it never ends well) and are often bitter when things come to an end

And of course, "nice guys" are often most likely to be resentful.  

Nice guys are also more likely to get mad if they end up in the "friendzone" that they did "nice things" but didn't get sex/play/relationship 

So, this doesn't mean "be an asshole" it kinda is - look at what you actually want from things, and also what you actually offer.  

[Tr****]

I would love to find a nice guy for onc. Last couple relationships I have been ***d and beat me up physically and mentally

[Li****]

2 hours ago, eyemblacksheep said:

if you have to tell everyone you're nice, you're probably not.

Exactly what I was going to say.

It's a pretty consistent observation that if someone has to tell you they are nice or empathetic or whatever else - it's far more likely than not that they aren't.

You could be a great guy, poster. None of us have met you.

But I think good advice, and remember to be proportional here (do not beat yourself down), is to consider if you are as nice as you think you are.

Personally, I had to do a lot of therapy to figure out who I am. Which sounds silly, right? I mean, I am me and you are you. We know who we are obviously - but it's shocking how untrue that can be.

Something that helped me a lot - keep a journal but log ONLY what you do, not what you say, think or feel. That's a pretty good way to get a measure of the man you are.

Some other things to consider, and it is worth considering because if someone is being rejected a lot you have to think about what is more likely.. 1- I am doing something that I could improve upon. 2- Everybody else in the world is too foolish to see how lovely I am.

When the common factor is ourselves, that invites real reflection.

[ch****]

It's quite surprising to see the level of judgment on display here in this thread. This platform has been, in my experience, a relatively judgement free zone, where people can express themselves and be open about who they are and what they're into, without being shamed or insulted. Yet, here, we have someone who's curious to know how women feel about "nice guys", and most of the responses address the stigma of overly stressing or communicating the "nice guy" persona. It seems a bit inconsiderate to red flag the guy into oblivion. Out of respect for the poster, wouldn't it be fair to answer his serious question with a serious and informative answer? Maybe someone or multiple people have told him he's a nice guy. Maybe he's not floating the idea as a manipulation tactic, he's just being real and open about his feelings. He didn't exactly overdeliver the nice guy schtick in his post...lol. All that being said...Let's say he really is a nice guy, who doesn't carry a sign proclaiming himself as such...Could we provide some genuine and thoughtful answers for our friend here?