How do you include switching?

[Fr****]

I have a dom/sub relationship with my gf. She normally doms, but every so often wants to be a sub. I'm new to domming and don't really know what to do, I find it hard to swap over to being dom when I see her normally as one. How can I get past this so it isn't awkward!

[Deleted Member]

Its important to recognise when one or both of you are in a dominant or submissive headspace, so firstly I would recommend talking over it more to learn more deeply about their particular actions and intricacies. Once you know that, its also important to do some self-reflection, and discover if you are actually a switch or whether youre just doing this to please your partner. If both of those check out, the next most important thing is to discuss the different types of dominants, and which one fits you best. There are a lot of articles on google to help you, and also your partner normally doms so you can "interview" them. If you're struggling to slip into the dominant headspace, a common trick is to go via role-playing. Set up a scenario where you are the one in control, and its often much easier to dom/sub whilst roleplaying than just being yourselves. It'll become more natural after time, of course the other thing is to communicate!! Communicate everything, keep tls in mind and do not be afraid of safewords they are there to be used. It is *always* best to stop a scene midway through to re-evaluate or check in, rather than unknowingly launch into it. Your partner will tell you this too but being the dom in the dynamic means taking responsibility, you must make sure you are up to taking that responsibility and using safewords and aftercare appropriately

[re****]

I switch regularly and found that having different names for my dominant and sub side really helped me fall into the role I was playing. It also lets me know what kind of mood my partner is in by what name they call me.
It also helps if you have an outfit or an accessory that they or you can wear to signify your dominance or submissiveness in the relationship and help you get into the role play

[Jo****]

I include switching much the same way that you do. Generally, partners and i have taken turns domming one another. With hard dommes and hard switches, however, i have simply stuck to the role that they wanted me in— i was still content because we were both doing things we enjoyed. It’s possible that you simply need more experience as a domme to become comfortable with it, perhaps experimenting with different sex acts and types of dirty talk. However, it is also possible that you are simply not a switch. Time will tell.

[He****]

We'd love to

[ey****]

19 hours ago, FriendlyLove said:

, I find it hard to swap over to being dom when I see her normally as one. How can I get past this so it isn't awkward!

you might not

like, not everyone is a Dominant, nor wishes to be - and it feels like you're in that kinda zone

though

I guess a lot depends on what she likes and if it'd be within your risk profile.  Don't just let her go "do what you want!" like find out what she likes and wants.  If you struggle to get into a Dominant head space, then you can Service Top - basically that in your submission you are following her instructions to Dominate her 

[Gulfcoastdays]

Well it does seem to me that right off the bat, you are different kind of doms. There are a few kind of subs but the end point is usually pretty consistent. Doms can be caregivers, masters, pleasure domes, rope riggers and a host of other positions and roles that don’t really land next to kne another. I suggest finding out what type of domme your gf is and realize that you are different. However in threading about her type if some, read about the corresponding sub than fits that done the best…and try your best to be the best for her. She will love your effort. Then read about the types of domes there are, find one that interests you and try the best to incorporate it it and communicate with her and tell her, as her domme , your expectations and some things she can do to help you establish yourself as a domme for her. Switching is great. You get two types of domes and two subs at the same time in the same place in the safety and comfort of the same people . Keep talking about it and incorporating the kinks that sound fun and also make sure that you both know that you are young and continually growing so embrace the change as it comes. Don’t ever be hesitant to talk

[Aa****]

When it comes to “what to do”, that’ll just take time, don’t be afraid to ask your gf what she wants! When it comes to the swapping over from sub to dom, if you really get stuck with how you see her generally, a little trick I do that helps is to think of it in your head not as domming but as serving. You’re still doing what she wants, she “has the power”, it’s just that what she wants in this specific instance is for you to dom her. That thought at least helps me get in the mindset sometimes!

[MD****]

We didn't learn to understand any subject in school by just believing in ourself. We had a lesson plan, and practice sheets and a teacher and it was fun. My advice is to write a basic script that you both perform on each other. If you are super nervous, write everything, every item, every action, and every word down. If you feel silly, practice the script solo, that can build confidence. This way you don't have to think about anything in the moment and you can she how she performs the same actions. Then have a talk about it. Like non bias director level critique (better lighting, more lube, keep the growling, no ice, ect). Repeat. Add a toy, different place, new dynamic, time of day. Then when ready write a new script. Its like learning how to color by starting with simple lines then adding until you have a whole scene. Just have fun. Remember if your partner is really into this, they are probably going to be nervous too and that might come across as negative or demanding when they are trying to 'help teach', be honest with them and ask for gentle feedback if you get sensitive. Good luck!!!

[sa****]

Try a one time 3rd you dom the 3rd person to gather but work it in to you doming both the 3ed person will give you more cofidence in your actshions

[sa****]

You will learn from her at the same time as her being able to relax in to her role as a sub