Lo**** Posted November 11 May sound harsh but regardless of what he said he doesn't owe you anything. Besides you're in a relationship, correct? Just like he was fine with that. You have to be fine with the choices on what he has going on in life
Ma**** Posted November 11 Sometimes just chatting with someone without all the expectations attached can help put things in perspective. Feel free to shoot me a message if you want. I have quite a few friends that come to me just to talk things out about their own lives.
co**** Posted November 11 I feel like this online dating and such just makes it worse, I recently have been ghosted by a girl I was talking to for two months and really wanted to start something with. It's upsetting
Cu**** Posted November 11 Author 3 hours ago, presvibes said: Try it with your partner maybe He’s great, but definitely more vanilla 🤭 (hence why he doesn’t care if I chat online lol)
Cu**** Posted November 11 Author 53 minutes ago, ThickD204 said: Seems like a desperate post fishing for compliments I can understand how it could appear that way, but that’s not the case lol With apps like this I know it happens a lottt so I’m sure that many other people have been in similar situations. The forums here are meant for discussions (hence the post) so really it’s about asking for advice.
Cu**** Posted November 11 Author 4 hours ago, presvibes said: Seems like you caught feelings more than it being casual fun sis 😔 but being ghosted always sucks… maybe he caught feelings too but knowing it would go nowhere he removed himself rather than explaining himself. If he had explained himself would it have gone differently? Men are simple but we don’t like to share feelings because of the simple fact of it being used against us… he probably really liked you but it was hurting him way more than helping him. For you to get over this means you’re emotionally attached to him. What about your partner? You can’t go to him to talk about this or have this online fantasy? This is a tough one sis… I hope to see others sharing so I can learn a thing or two as well. Best wishes! Yeah definitely bummed- I really value open communication so I do wish he would have told me directly. I totally get wanting to keep things casual (that’s always been my intention too, so I did mess myself up by chatting deeper than that) so I would have been more than okay with keeping it like that. I do have a bit of an unconventional thing with my irl bf 🤭 he’s very vanilla and we have a good relationship overall (despite the recent rocky period we had) but he’s not into the same kinks as I am, so he has no problem with what I do online but doesn’t want to hear about it (which is fair lol) Anyway, thanks for your thoughtful reply! 💖
Cu**** Posted November 11 Author 4 hours ago, back_bencher said: Welcome to the men’s club. Women do this all the time — it’s not limited to one gender. People don’t realize that ghosting is more insulting than blocking someone or not starting a conversation at all. At the very least, have the courtesy to inform the person that you’re no longer interested. This is true! If I have prolonged conversations with anyone, I try to be very clear in what the expectations/intentions are on both sides. Getting more invested than the other person and then ghosted sucks, but I think open communication about it helps in general 💖
Cu**** Posted November 11 Author 4 hours ago, Teddy_Dom said: Look into attachment styles. Seems like you’re an anxious attacher (like me) and were always drawn to avoidant attachers. It stems from unresolved attachment issues usually stemming from not having received the kind of emotional/physical abandonment in childhood. You’re probably unwittingly seeking out that kind of a partner to try and heal those abandonment issues in some way. An avoidant has learned to run away from people when things get too serious to protect themselves from the risk of feeling abandoned and an anxious attacher has learned to do the opposite usually resulting in a level of codependence (I.e feeling like as long as the person you’re attached to is ok then you’re ok rather than being focussed on feeling ok yourself regardless of attachment). The nature of an avoidant is attractive to an anxious attacher because the inner child still wants to find someone who abandons them to replicate the nature of that parent that didn’t show you the unconditional love you should have received as a child. It allows the anxious attacher to chase a love in the same way they did as a child in the hope that they can in some way heal that abandonment. LOL thank you for your thoughtful reply! I actually *do* know this about myself, and it’s amusing to me that it was so obvious to you as well 🤭 it is something I am trying to work on overall 💖
Cu**** Posted November 11 Author 4 hours ago, HoneyRae said: I’m so sorry that this happened to you sugar! Ghosting sucks and it hurts! Something similar happened to me and I will say that with time it begins to hurt a little less! My advice to you is to feel all of the emotions and take your time processing it! If you have any close friends, talk it out with them! Sometimes it helps to speak about how you feel! Take the good times that yall shared and apply to you next dynamic! Sending hugs to you! Thanks, babe! 🫶🥹
Cu**** Posted November 11 Author 4 hours ago, Multiple_talents said: Yeah it happens to me regularly unfortunately, especially with younger girls, they promise the the world, wanting to be my 24/7 slave, TPE and what not, and then disappear without a word. It‘s true it hurts more the longer you were in contact, the deeper you went, and the more hope you had to really meet that person and build sth beautiful together…at least in my case. In your case I don‘t know, as you don‘t seem to wanted to meet him in real, but still felt kinda strong. For me that doesnt exist, I don‘t chat forever with someone without wanting to meet, I‘m single and so the hope always there it could be „the one“ or at least to have a good time. I don‘t know if I have an advice for you. With young inexperienced girls who suddenly panic and delete their profile, I can somewhat understand, even if it hurts after we talked so much, you always wish they would be at least mature enough to write one more message „hey sorry, I changed my mind“ or „I just fantasized, it‘s too much for me“ or WHATEVER, but ghosting or blocking seems often the 1st choice nowadays, sadly. But you can’t control other people’s behaviour. From more mature and experienced people it seems even stranger. The only thing to do is to be more secure, loving yourself, so self-confident, independent that it doesn‘t matter but that‘s not so easy if you like someone. Good luck to you 🙏 I was definitelyyyyy guilty of this when I was much younger 😅 it’s definitely an immaturity thing, and I learned over the years how much more beneficial it is to just be up front and honest about things. Wishing you the best! 💖
Vl**** Posted November 11 I get ghosted a lot. Even when it feels like we made a connection. I feel for you.
Wh**** Posted November 11 I didn’t get ghosted but found out this Dom I really had a strong connection with was a catfish… it sucks n because I really liked him.
ve**** Posted November 11 You're to pretty to worry about someone ghosting you and blocking ppl is just a bitch more you'll find someone better
Be**** Posted November 12 I totally understand your *** im sorry but it becomes quite normal for guys x these words hurt...This kinkster has passed on this keep exploring!
BC**** Posted November 12 Dude probably got into something IRL and doesn't want the connection to you interfering with it. Not uncommon
So**** Posted November 13 Sorry to hear. I think most of us have been there. I know I sure have. Hang in there gorgeous, you'll be ok.
cr**** Posted November 13 I def take a page out of the brats playbook when connecting with someone! Their “brattiness” isn’t to be difficulty, it’s to test one’s consistency and integrity. I ask sooooo many questions and probe into people’s personal stuffs to the point where 1, they know I’m not just chatting 2, I know they are actually a real person 3, if things went silent it would be ok because the CONTEXT of our lives have been established and we wouldn’t “ghost” because we would be open about our capacities and such. That guy took some breaks: fine, sure, great. But to not notify you or for you not to know how his life is going enough to do the math….. sounds like he isn’t the strongest communicator and those are the ones that hurt the most 😮💨😮💨😮💨
cr**** Posted November 13 Oh! And I would PERSONALLY focus on allowing yourself to be in the suck but also focus on learning from it and retrospecting the red flags (on EITHER side) rather that “moving on”. One can move on too quickly and they don’t really reflect on WHAT happened so……unfortunately, it happens again 😤😤😤
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