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What was your personal growth outside of kink


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What was your personal growth outside of kink that resulted from your growth as a Dominant or Submissive? How did your role improve you as a person?

My promotion from pion to manager/supervisor. At first, it was like dealing with kids, having to remind them what their basic job duties were, but then once we grew comfortable with each other, it evolved.
It wasn't the responsibility that made me grow. It was the trust. Now, when the store manager would call for extra hours or more work, my workers would listen to me rather than the person signing the checks. I realized that I make a difference in people's lives, and in turn, they grew.
Some received raises because they stood up for themselves. Others went elsewhere and were happier in a different carrier.
Something I can only achieve when I am acknowledged as a dominant leader. Something that has always been my struggle because everyone sees a docile demeanor aka nice guy.
Change in job title is where I really started to grow outside of kink.
Being submissive in kink has taught me everything I know about being dominant in vanilla situations. Trying to meet the expectations of my dom as a sub gives me specific insight into the dynamic itself, and clarity for how to enact it when I need it
Accepting who you are and not giving a fuck if others don’t like it
Healing from past ***. It led me down a bad path at one point to what I would call addiction. During that time I was a horrible person only caring about what I wanted no matter how much it hurt others. It also lead me not to be my authentic self causing many interpersonal issues. From this journey I've learned what it really means to be myself and what control over myself and others should be. While I personally haven't had the chance to use it in a dynamic yet I understand how I should behave as a Dom.
At work I was in charge of a team and had to make very quick decisions. I had the knowledge but I felt I didn't deserve the authority.
So by exploring my dominant side, in the safe space of the scenes I learned that not only was I worthy of my authority because I knew how to earn the trust of my partner because I truly cared about them, but that I also enjoyed and could even get better at it.
  • 2 weeks later...
Being a submissive for over a decade gave me a lot of confidence in what I know vs. what I don't.
There were many things that when I first started I just faked my way through and it ended up biting me in the ass nearly every time. As soon as I stopped being loudly wrong and started asking an abundance of questions, my life inside and also outside of my dynamic shifted. I was able to identify ***rs and enablers more easily, lead a team while still being a collaborator, and have a plethora of emotionally mature relationships that centered on learning things rather than "knowing" them. It even made me a better sub because I was more likely to defer to my Dom's wisdom instead of fighting to prove that I was right (when I most definitely was not).
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