Ki**** Posted 17 hours ago Misogyny is unfortunately rampant even in femdom spaces. Many men are quick to make it all about their fantasies with no regards to what women actually want. And women are afraid to address their true needs since society tells women to be meek and have none. I apologize for my clickbait title, but I really want people to think about this: if we want to make room for femdom, how do we make space for women to feel confident enougj to be honest about what they want and ensure men actually listen?
hy**** Posted 3 hours ago This is an important point, thank you for bringing it up! Many are enticed by the idea, the fantasy, with no real respect or admiration. Healthy dynamics in this scene depend on give and take, there is an art to it! Too many entitled people with no willingness to learn or cultivate a trusting and safe space echoes the grander struggles of modern women! If men aren't willing to listen - why should we accomodate for there desires? Its rude, ugly and unsafe practice! Communication is key and one of the most intimate and somewhat sacred parts of developing a dynamic in kink is developing boundaries and witnessing the comfort in vulnerability that you and your partner/s may achieve through consentual play!
Ja**** Posted 2 hours ago Imo femdom as a kink has faced the same consequences a sex did with porn. There is a fetishization of femdom consisting of the porn version of it. And a lot of men want their femdom partner to be as they are shown in porn. And everything outside of that fantasy is not "true" femdom. The bigger question is do we, as a society, view women as humans capable of making their own sexual decisions? even if these decisions contradict the stereotypical femdom as shown in the media. If you are in a typical relationship both partners have to listen to their partners needs and wishes.
Ge**** Posted 2 hours ago I am a dominant man i will say an advice for my dom female friends out there look the problem is alot of women that claim to be dominant act so narcissistic and all they want is to humuliate or something i advise to listen to the sub and what their limits then you tell them what you like and what you don't build a trust relationship before anything then go to the sexual things because trust is the key for any sub/dom relationship and of course alot of men and women too think that what they see in porn is the same way as reality so just be patient and if they are not experienced teach them
si**** Posted 2 hours ago I am really hoping femdom is a possibility. But from my experience on this app, starting it from an online aspect will not work. Either because there are more men and then women on these apps, what people expect from these apps is unrealistic, there loads of scammers, or if you do start chatting with people they ask for a tribute before anything was even established, claiming it is a way to not waste time (those people are probably scammers as well)
La**** Posted 2 hours ago This has always been part of the biggest problem that caused the so called: femdom shortage. There are NEVER too many male subs. But too little quality subs. Most hetero men just want to bottom or to feel ‘what it’s like’ to be a sub. So it’s not genuine. And even when we try to tell them to listen to what we want and need, suddenly they turned deaf. Most male subs never want to actually submit and be devoted in the first place. They want the porn version which almost never about the female dom.
Ge**** Posted 1 hour ago @lady_king i think because alot of men are like not submissive in general in their lives but like to give charge in bed i don't know if my words are making sense because look it's really hard for a man to go to his soft side because men learnt to hide emotions since their childhood so he could be a very dominant man in life but he likes to give charge only in bedroom and he need to trust you first before doing that women are more emotional that's reality every is special in a thing all am saying it needs to start with building trust and both partners ask each other and know more about each other then make like an agreement on what thy are both comfortable to do and like to do
Al**** Posted 1 hour ago IMO it can work, I've personally been in these types of relationships. And with all relationships it starts with communication and healthy boundaries. I think in my personal case it helps that I'm not meek. I do believe however female sexuality as a whole has been suppressed and if that societal pressure was removed, we'd see more women on sites like these.
Ir**** Posted 1 hour ago I actually attend events at a club in Southern California that specifically hosts FemDomme events. The women have full control of the situation and are the ones who make the final choice on whether or not to engage in fantasy play with a bottom or submissive male. Their needs are put first. I would agree with @Lady_King, there is a shortage of quality male subs or those willing to learn how to submit gracefully. But I think that also reflects a lack of education from quality dommes. It’s a trickle down effect that needs to be remedied by people willing to educate as well as be worshipped. Communication begets quality imo.
Fr**** Posted 1 hour ago I think all type of BDSM relationships are possible, as long as both parties are willing to communicate about what they want, need and absolutely don't accept. Just like in a normal relationship.
mo**** Posted 1 hour ago Well I may not be a Submissive Man a matter of fact Submissive men make me ill. But I believe no matter who the Sub is communication is key. I believe that in ay type of relationship. So yes when I have a Sub or a Slave I don't focus purely on my needs I talk to her and figure out what her needs are what she likes and dislikes. I mean I may be out of place here but maybe sit down and have that conversation before moving on. Yes I know there not many men that will actually listen but it's worth a shot. I wish you luck on your journey. God bless.
la**** Posted 1 hour ago I'm a masculine man for the most part. I have a feminine side that I don't starve. I've never been with a femdom, but I really, really want to. In my experience with women, I feel like they like to be dominated. In a 50 shades type of way. I would be extremely upset to find out any of them wanted to be dom and, not said so. I would submit so fast it would blow her mind. I hope to find a strong confident woman, with a big strap-on hiding away somewhere, that says "no, you get on your knees". Someday soon.
Sa**** Posted 1 hour ago It really requires the FemDom to have her head on right and screen her subs well. I love the Domme in me and the power I have over my subs - being able to embrace that in a female body is the first step. It can be challenging with men because am I extremely fem and petite in my physique - it cannot be masked with costumes. But true subs don’t need might - they know the real power is not worn on the body, but in the eyes, in the mind, in my calm confidence and unrelenting consistency and confidence as I draw them gradually into unknown terrain, places they would never be able to go without me. They have to be bright and open enough to see beyond the boring archetypes and really willing to explore their vulnerability in submission. Otherwise it’s just a bore.
la**** Posted 40 minutes ago I think this is a general problem in bdsm. A lot of it stems from a lack of communication or immaturity around the subject. I think a lot of men being weird or demanding is also just an extension of what women already face in the regular dating scene, I don't really think it goes away even jn these niche spaces
li**** Posted 19 minutes ago It's not our responsibility to make men listen. You cannot change them. The only option we have is to set filters that won't allow everyone to access us, write a profile where we clearly stay what we want (and that most of the time won't be read) and use our discernment to find good male subs. We can immediately block anyone that makes us feel uncomfortable and be patient for the right one to come. That's all. We can't educate anyone on how to behave properly.
se**** Posted 14 minutes ago Leadership is not always about being the loudest or most powerful. It can also mean consistency, and presence. I believe that’s a huge misconception with what some people want from their DOM. I feel that (as a SUB in my case) when a DOM is confident, reliable, and emotionally intelligent. It creates a sense of security and trust that is very important when the SUB is opening up and following DOM orders.
li**** Posted 12 minutes ago 2 hours ago, JackOfSubTraits said: Imo femdom as a kink has faced the same consequences a sex did with porn. There is a fetishization of femdom consisting of the porn version of it. And a lot of men want their femdom partner to be as they are shown in porn. And everything outside of that fantasy is not "true" femdom. The bigger question is do we, as a society, view women as humans capable of making their own sexual decisions? even if these decisions contradict the stereotypical femdom as shown in the media. If you are in a typical relationship both partners have to listen to their partners needs and wishes. Correct. I don't think femdom is much more difficult than regular vanilla sex. It's the same thing, the same problems that pornography culture has created. The same entitlement, the same disregard for women's wants and needs.
li**** Posted 8 minutes ago 57 minutes ago, lansing770411 said: I'm a masculine man for the most part. I have a feminine side that I don't starve. I've never been with a femdom, but I really, really want to. In my experience with women, I feel like they like to be dominated. In a 50 shades type of way. I would be extremely upset to find out any of them wanted to be dom and, not said so. I would submit so fast it would blow her mind. I hope to find a strong confident woman, with a big strap-on hiding away somewhere, that says "no, you get on your knees". Someday soon. Being penetrated has nothing to do with being submissive.
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