Is heterosexual Femdom even possible?

[Ro****]

It's an interesting question and, yes, elements of misogynistic tendencies from both men and women will permeate in a Femdom relationship. Certainly in terms of expectations.

But I have been in relationships where I've felt a more true dynamic where its not just about my wishes. I am also aware of relationships that are strongly femdom in the lifestyle.

I suspect a problem, especially now, is the current trend for FinDom and how that makes it entirely a transactional relationship. Unfortunately, for many men, this is all they see and it instills the assumption that you insert ***/devotion/worship/gifts and get kinks serviced in return.

[Doitforthalegshake]

I always wanted to ask my ex about if she had any kinks. She played a decent Dom. When she wanted to. But she identified as a switch and when I would bring up her interests or fantasies she wouldn't tell me. She would say "I don't really have a specific kink" I feel like that was toward the end though. Probably after her feelings for me faded. But id always try to make a safe spot for her to be open and honest with her wants and she probably felt this way im guessing

[ma****]

I agree with some of the folks in the comments above, social roles are pervasive and it’s hard to entirely “turn our brain off” from those societal impacts, as much as we try.
For so many men, in my experience, being dommed is about experiencing a loss of control they’re always expected to have. As an AFAB domme, I like domming men mostly for that purpose: I like seeing a community that has oppressed me and told themselves that they can’t feel emotion to be *** and needy.
Basically, I think you CAN’T entirely avoid it, and I think prior to engaging with whomever you dom, and throughout the session as needed, it’s okay to pause, use the safe word, and acknowledge an imbalance that was NOT accounted for (as opposed to the all the delicious imbalances that we DO want in a femdom sitch).
When I talk about my “no-gos” with kink partners, I like to talk to any sub in general, but especially male subs, about their goals for a scene: Are they trying to fuck me? To cum? To finally touch themselves? To get to leave the room to get a snack? And then I implement the things *I* want (that they are comfortable with) between them and their goal.

TLDR: social expectations are pervasive into kink, and the best we can do is acknowledge them to help dismantle them. Communication has always been my best friend!

[Ro****]

1 hour ago, mae_showers said:

I agree with some of the folks in the comments above, social roles are pervasive and it’s hard to entirely “turn our brain off” from those societal impacts, as much as we try.
For so many men, in my experience, being dommed is about experiencing a loss of control they’re always expected to have. As an AFAB domme, I like domming men mostly for that purpose: I like seeing a community that has oppressed me and told themselves that they can’t feel emotion to be *** and needy.
Basically, I think you CAN’T entirely avoid it, and I think prior to engaging with whomever you dom, and throughout the session as needed, it’s okay to pause, use the safe word, and acknowledge an imbalance that was NOT accounted for (as opposed to the all the delicious imbalances that we DO want in a femdom sitch).
When I talk about my “no-gos” with kink partners, I like to talk to any sub in general, but especially male subs, about their goals for a scene: Are they trying to fuck me? To cum? To finally touch themselves? To get to leave the room to get a snack? And then I implement the things *I* want (that they are comfortable with) between them and their goal.

TLDR: social expectations are pervasive into kink, and the best we can do is acknowledge them to help dismantle them. Communication has always been my best friend!

The idea of goals is an interesting one and I really like it. I would like to see a Domme I worked with try this approach. Though it might require ne being able to understand my own goals better...