What’s my Kink and do you guys have it too?

[Jo****]

I love watching a woman masterbate for me and its tandelizing to help direct her. I would like to find a woman I can do this with and build my desire while feeding hers and when we're ready meet and devour each other

[Si****]

Yeah, it's super hot, both ways. Do what feels safe for you. F*ck what other people think. Enjoy yourself.

[re****]

I prefer video chats like this taking turns directing each other before any talk about irl

[Da****]

Honestly yes it's very attractive, and as a sexual guy I would definitely say the mutual masturbation is definitely much better than no sex at all, and I see that you keep mentioning PIV, does that mean Anal is ok, but vaginal is not?

But personally I've had many encounters where it's mutual masturbation and as a dominant yes I would definitely get off on directing you to play with yourself and I think it would be a great way for you to be more comfortable with men again. Can I also say that I'm really sorry that it happened to you, it should never happen to anyone, especially because it does create trauma like this, and then things that used to be fun for you, now become a challenge.

To keep yourself safe engage in virtual play first then maybe a date followed by some mutual masturbation if everything goes well.

[Deleted Member]

Super hot I think. I’ve been looking for someone for this exact thing for a while!

[Ca****]

I am all the same way with this I've been wanting to mutually masturbate with a lady

[HU****]

Layla, no matter what, you are the priority. With dating, I think you should take your time. Any girl being selfish in bed is because she’s not getting the sex she’s looking for. Most importantly, I don’t care if you wanted to have sex with a guy wearing a sponge bob costume, if he actually cares about you and wants to give you that pleasure and satisfaction then that’s exactly what he would do. It’s all about affection and chemistry, and it’s truly amazing how powerful it is. You could be head over heels in love with someone, and at the end of the day, there is absolutely no chemistry at all. You’re young, and have plenty of time.if you can’t find yourself with a guy, try hooking up with a girl? Or even a FFM threesome to help figure it out.
I hope you find what you’re looking for Layla. Best of luck

[Deleted Member]

Ive always had this fantasy too.

[Gentlemandom47]

What you’re describing is actually very common, and it makes a lot of sense given where you say you are emotionally and physically right now.

A few key points that may help:

1. Yes — many people (men and women) find this very hot.

What you’re describing often falls under guided masturbation, voyeurism, or instruction / teaching dynamics. For many men, the appeal isn’t “doing nothing” — it’s:

• being trusted
• being invited into someone’s arousal
• having influence and presence without physical touch

For a lot of people, that can feel more intimate than intercourse.

2. Wanting this doesn’t mean you’re selfish — it means you’re listening to your boundaries.

You’re not saying “I want sex but don’t care about the other person.”

You’re saying: “This is what feels safe and authentic for me right now.”

That’s not selfish — that’s responsible.

3. Plenty of people are happy with intimacy that doesn’t include PIV.

Some people won’t be — and that’s okay. But many are:

• especially those who value communication, kink, or slower-building intimacy
• especially those who understand recovery, trust, or emotional safety

You don’t need to offer “everything” to be desirable.

4. How to bring it up:

The key is framing it as curiosity and consent, not an apology. For example:

• “I’m not ready for penetrative sex, but I am interested in exploring intimacy in other ways — would guided or mutual masturbation be something you’d enjoy?”
• “I’m figuring out what feels safe for me right now, and I’d like to go slowly. Is that something you’re open to?”

The right people won’t see this as a downgrade — they’ll see it as an invitation.

5. Why other women think about this:

Often it’s about:

• reclaiming control after feeling overwhelmed or unsafe
• wanting to be desired without pressure
• wanting presence without expectation

That’s not unusual at all, especially after difficult experiences.

6. You don’t need to stop dating just because your boundaries are different right now.

Dating isn’t a contract to escalate. It’s a process of discovering fit.

Being clear early on actually filters out people who wouldn’t be right for you anyway.

Finally — you are allowed to go at your own pace. You are allowed to want connection without full physical access. And you are allowed to enjoy pleasure without guilt.

Anyone worth your time will respect that.