Deleted Member Posted January 8, 2021 Posted January 8, 2021 I've been on the scene for many years and in that time have interacted with tens of thousands of people across the globe (literally). Whilst many these days know me simply as "Arch", historically my scene name has always been "Archangel". There are many theories as to how that name evolved but the truth is it was given to me as a nickname way back when I worked in the world of entertainment and it just stuck (but that's another story). When we think of angels, we think of ornaments on Christmas trees or innocent and gentle beings that play harps and do good deeds and never hurt anyone. You may even be forgiven for thinking of Linda Kash sitting on a fluffy white cloud, dressed in white and eating Philadelphia Cheese on crackers. You get the idea; angels are supposed to be soft and gentle and happy and positive etc etc etc. But not all angels are like this. In fact, Lucifer, whose name means 'light bearer', (Satan or the devil) and some believe is the evilest being in the universe, was himself an archangel. Some believe he is a metaphor for evil and deceit, and others believe he is simply an angelic being characterized by pride and power. However, anyone who has seen the TV series will know that Lucifer is not actually evil himself but "punishes" those who are evil, and he's kind of a good-looking chap too! So, what is the point in this writing? This community is supposed to be about showing respect to others, being tolerant of people and their beliefs, showing compassion where required, not causing people to feel embarrassment because of their kinks or fetishes, size, mental ability, sexual orientation or disability. But I've noticed of late that some people can't even manage the curtesy of basic human decency, let alone showing respect to anyone. We often come face to face with disrespect and it could come from anyone: colleagues, partners or exes, children, parents, friends, a shop assistant or just some random stranger. In-fact, disrespect can sneak into any situation and it can leave you feeling angry, hurt, less than important or even practically insignificant. Taken to the extremes, someone disrespecting you can play on your mind and in turn affect your whole day and that of those around you. Being disrespected feels terrible, and often we just try to put it behind us and carry on with our lives, perhaps even believing that we must have done something to deserve it. Basically, it can be easier to stay quiet, make excuses for the person who disrespected you and just deal with it rather than speak up and protect yourself from it. BUT what you lose when you don’t stand up for yourself and speak up is far more drastic and soul sucking than what you lose if you do speak up and shake the tree. You can lose respect for yourself. On top of this, by doing nothing you're allowing the effective 'normalisation' of this disrespectful behaviour so it's important to start being aware of what’s going on and then doing something about it. Educate yourself on the signs of disrespect and start removing yourself from the situation or find other ways of handling it that don’t allow the disrespectful person to continue with their behaviour. Even if you need support to do so. Does someone regularly read and then ignore your messages for hours on end? Does someone regularly cancel plans at the last minute, or worse simply not turn up? Does someone always find a way to blame you for their poor behaviour? Does someone make outrageous accusations in an attempt to show you in a bad light? Does someone constantly make comments to belittle you or your efforts? All these are signs of disrespect, there are many more, but I don't have the time or the space to list them all, so use them as a starting point and have a think about the way others treat you. Many years ago, I had an issue in work where a manager would try to belittle me in front of other employees. One day I decided enough was enough and, much to the delight of my peers, I responded by telling the manager in a calm but firm (and fairly loud) voice that if she wanted to have a respectful conversation in private then we could do so but I would not tolerate her abusive and disrespectful behaviour any longer. Later that day I was astonished when she walked up to me, apologised and told me she had gained respect for me for standing up to her. Those who interact with me will often find that I'm overly tolerant of others poor behaviour. I'm placid, patient, softly spoken and it generally takes a lot to push my buttons. I will respect everyone I interact with until they give me a reason not to. Even then, I'm the sort of person that will accept an apology and forget what's happened. But I have a ruthless side that comes out if someone goes too far. I'm a straight talker, what you see is what you get, I'm open, honest, have strong, ethical values and refuse to compromise them. When enough is enough, I'll happily put someone in their place if I need to and it's difficult, if not impossible to regain my respect once it's lost as plenty have discovered. At the end of the day, only you know what you are willing to tolerate, but you are the agent of your own change and must do what you need to do to love and value yourself enough to not allow disrespectful people to remain in your life. Nobody deserves to be disrespected, by anyone! So be brave, take a stand and command the respect you deserve, whichever side of the slash you're on!
Wo**** Posted January 8, 2021 Posted January 8, 2021 (edited) I've been mulling over outing a member here which isn't something I'd do lightly. Backstory... I was a victim of an assault as a 17 year old virgin, vaginally and anally. I orgasmed, adrenalin, stimulation...took me years to come to terms with that. So, I exchanged a few messages with a member here, a "dom" his messages were vile. His attitude was genuinely sick. He told me he would "destroy me vaginally and anally" then berated me for being a "loser" and queried why I hadn't been with a "real man" who would "rent me out" and treat me like the "worthless piece of fuckmeat" that I was. He then went on to try and belittle my partner for his ED, failed miserably and resorted to puerile insults. We spent the evening laughing at his messages and even had a bet with jelly babies as to what his next attack would be. Luckily I'm not easily triggered and Boldbald has a knack for the humorous change of perspective and was able to point out how insecure and inadequate this member was about the fact that a crippled, middle aged, fat, impotent hayoka satiated this insatiable orgasmic, three hole cum slut to the point I ended up later that night in A&E due to strains and muscle cramps in my abdomen from hours of near continuous body wracking orgasms. Administered with just one finger and his tongue. So, who's the real man and deserves respect? The respect Boldbald showed me, his care, his honesty, his willingness to embrace me posting about his ED speaks volumes about what it means to be a real man and it's got absolutely nothing to do with having a hard dick. As I said to a dear friend in chat the other day... an impotent cripple and an insatiable cumslut - perfect match in mutual and kinky respect. @Boldbald ... I love you. Edited January 8, 2021 by Bounty Clarification
Deleted Member Posted January 9, 2021 Author Posted January 9, 2021 9 hours ago, Bounty said: @Boldbald ... I love you. 😁😁that's great to see but the "dickhead" who feels it's acceptable to talk to you like that not so much. I'd be very interested to know what sort or "man" and I use that word loosely thinks that's ok.
Bo**** Posted January 9, 2021 Posted January 9, 2021 (edited) 4 hours ago, Primal*** said: 😁😁that's great to see but the "dickhead" who feels it's acceptable to talk to you like that not so much. I'd be very interested to know what sort or "man" and I use that word loosely thinks that's ok. 🙏🐺🙏 i paused from my primal responsibilities to protect ,(reactionary size 12 application ,lol)to reflect on how insecure,inadequate,& self loathing that soul must be. Alone,unloved ....only able to express themselves in a rather puerile tirade of destructive,harmful vitriol........ Was it a cognitive dissonance,or,distortion? Learnt hatred,a conditioned bias from a damaged past...... A changed perspective for me ,to contemplate others' cognitive developmental mutations.........being irrelevent( am one of 7 billion,is in profile! But that is a whole new thread,lol!)disabled yet still adaptable;so liberating from ego. So i pondered...... Briefly........n realised that the banal predictability of the written attacks on my idiotically assumed virile manhood,kinda piqued at my warped dark sense of humour.....and may gain me the pleasure of being hand fed jelly babies ,by the divinely fishnet clad Bounty enthroned on my library kink bed. True to form.......like a lightvessel automatic,his pathetic taunts and cripple bashing hatred flowed from the darkness of HIS ***s.....to alight on our screens. Yes, we laughed,as each line appeared,reinforcing each of my observations of human pathos & fallibility. Was it wrong of us? Was it wrong of me ? To then spend hour upon hour ,teasing,pleasuring;to the releasing of the goddess in this kind,caring ,sensually kinky beautiful mind,body n soul that nourishes my twilight in this existence..........Nah,'tis but return of favour!...............let him be alone!!! We have each other in these dreadtimes,so............Let's live,love,laugh........n kinkily indulge true friendship ! Blessed be🙏🌈 Big tribeVibe,innit!🐺 (@Bounty - i adore,worship,cherish,n love you) Edited January 9, 2021 by Boldbald Punctuation & omissions.
ol**** Posted January 9, 2021 Posted January 9, 2021 I think those of us in this lifestyle should understand that there is no place for bullying or insulting behaviours in our conversations. We maybe also need to accept that we are a target for people who actually don't understand this lifestle but have nothing better to do, particularly in the online world we have to live in at the moment. There are tools available on this site to both report and to block those who become a PITA. I
Ch**** Posted January 9, 2021 Posted January 9, 2021 I couldn't agree more, there's a huge number of people that have messaged me assuming they could say whatever they like purely because I am submissive. When I call them out on assuming I would welcome them speaking to me in such a manner, they often become abusive or simply disregard my comment and continue being disrespectful. Yet they demand that I show them respect? I am a bad submissive because I dare to stand up for myself? In this lifestyle respect and consent are hugely important, neither should be assumed or demanded. I find generally there is a lack of understanding of the basic principles nowdays, possibly because the lifestyle is more accessible and appealing thanks to social media forums such as this and references in pop culture
Deleted Member Posted January 9, 2021 Author Posted January 9, 2021 If anyone struggles to recognise whether someone’s behaviour is bordering on abusive, I heartily recommend the Red Flag List on the Heartless Bitches International website.
Deleted Member Posted January 10, 2021 Author Posted January 10, 2021 8 hours ago, Lockfairy said: If anyone struggles to recognise whether someone’s behaviour is bordering on abusive, I heartily recommend the Red Flag List on the Heartless Bitches International website. You're gonna love what I'm posting next
Deleted Member Posted January 10, 2021 Author Posted January 10, 2021 1 hour ago, ARCH73 said: You're gonna love what I'm posting next Ooh, I can’t wait!
Deleted Member Posted January 10, 2021 Author Posted January 10, 2021 Just now, Lockfairy said: Ooh, I can’t wait! Just posted it in the newbies forum
DevilsDoLL Posted January 16, 2021 Posted January 16, 2021 This is a very true and powerful statement
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