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Spotting. A fellow kinkster


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Should have told her you loved her shoes. An innocuous compliment that would have allowed you to then gauge her response.

9 minutes ago, NotAe1437 said:

Should have told her you loved her shoes. An innocuous compliment that would have allowed you to then gauge her response.

Good one ✌🏾

Then compliment her feet. “Your feet look amazing! No nail polish, yet super well maintained!”

Find a picture of a pineapple on your phone, and turn it upside down.

I know this is mostly used by swinging community, but I know someone who has used this as a way of sounding out kink as well, and it worked.

I’d make eye contact and smile and say “I love it when a woman feels so playful and swings her feet and wiggles them like that. I think it says a lot about who a person is, and what they are like. So now I just have to ask if I am right or wrong - are you a playful person?”

You can't really tell unless you ask. Some people like to believe they can hint at it, but a lot of times they're not nearly as obvious as they think they're being. Or even just flirting, one person's flirting is another's "just being nice".
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Sometimes people will complain that others can't take a hint... that's why, not everyone signals the way you do, how is a stranger supposed to know?
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So unless you're running into them at a munch, there's no way to tell unless you ask. Communication is key.

Doesn't hurt to go up to them and just compliment them. I see woman with pretty feet all the time at work and just compliment their nails or something about them and then Segway into it.

I mean. You did spot someone.

What it means, mind... isn't necessarily much.    There is a lady I am aware of who is very aware of foot guys and will give them a little tease and show when she catches them (as few are as discreet as they think) however, in the rare occassions someone approaches her, she will deny putting on any form of show and question how appropriate it is to blatantly perv on a stranger in public.

And I'm also aware of someone who themselves have felt uncomfortable being perved on in public when they've realised they're being watched.

I think the thing a bit is, ok, so you've established she's into the kink... then what, how do you see this playing out? Like, you're in an airport. 

Do these things actually happen in real life? I feel like every time I see a woman she just looks as hostile as possible

Compliment was a good one. I mean some of these airports are unisex so anything is possible lol I probably would have gave her a compliment at least let her see the brick lol if it was real I'm sure she's writing a post somewhere about the encounter

Try to start a very basic conversation. If she obviously doesn't want to talk to you, leave it alone and don't keep pushing. If it is what you think it is, then the conversation will naturally progress to that topic.

Approach her with a slow burn. Be your authentice self and extremely confidentally ask about her shoes. Tell her that she has gorgeous feet and explain why, so she knows the comment is geniune and you know your feet. Observe her reaction carefully, especially her body language. Approach the topic of foot fetish tagentially and carefully. You should quickly see whether she is also kinky and receptive in this way, or just vanilla flirting with you, or just frustrating or teasing you.

I think Ken-loves-music has it spot on. I might make eyes with someone & be attracted to them but them coming onto me is another step I might not be willing to decide on in that moment.

If you’re just trying to have a light convo & collect contact info if things go well, then you can dive into the serious talk while texting or over the phone, just be patient, let it naturally get there & imo don’t start making sexual remarks or ‘jokes’ early on. Some women may be ok with it but for me it tells me where your focus is & I prefer partners who desires sexual encounters that are satisfying & apart of that is getting to know & build intimacy with the partner. Sexual jokes can come after sex, not in the first convo/or a date.

You can only trust your intuition so far. Humans are complex and you can’t read another person’s mind if you don’t know them. You could have been brave and told her she has cute feet. It sounds like she had noticed you and was curious. But impossible to gauge anything more without communicating. And there’s nothing wrong in an exchanged smile and appreciation of each other. Ask her if she’d like your number and exchange and who knows.

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