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How do you rep the scene in public?


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It's my understanding that most people would prefer to keep their kinks a secret in public spaces to avoid making anyone else uncomfortable during first impressions (especially in Dating Apps). However this caution is a double edged sword, people who are also kinky may be otherwise drawn to you if it was brought to their attention. As a result, most people use phrases of some kind to insinuate their kinky lifestyle. I have read people using "my least favorite icecream flavor is vanilla". I've personally used "I'm looking for a woman who wants to take the lead, I want to march to the beat of your drum"

I am curious friends. What, if any, phrases have you used in these spaces before? Do you have any funny stories because of them?

2 minutes ago, mytimenowfl said:

Actions are louder than words

I'm not familiar with this one, why do you use this phrase? Whats the story behind it? I'd love to know :)

Following because I've wondered the same. (Not sure what you mean by "rep", but I get what the question is.)

I confess I've always left it to the other person to broach the subject. My vanilla profile includes "Just stepping out of my comfort zone in the bedroom" - that gives an opening for them to ask. (That's a bit out of date actually, I should edit it to "stepped out". šŸ˜‰)

But with someone met in the wild, I have no idea! Hasn't happened so far, since I discovered kink.

I'm kind of at a disadvantage because I give the impression of being dominant and I'm not. My default in-person flirt mode is that kind of innuendo which is a real nuisance! Also online, people seem to assume I am dom - or maybe it's just that sub types are more prone to wishful thinking, I don't know.

5 minutes ago, Hotchpotch said:

Following because I've wondered the same. (Not sure what you mean by "rep", but I get what the question is.)

I confess I've always left it to the other person to broach the subject. My vanilla profile includes "Just stepping out of my comfort zone in the bedroom" - that gives an opening for them to ask. (That's a bit out of date actually, I should edit it to "stepped out". šŸ˜‰)

But with someone met in the wild, I have no idea! Hasn't happened so far, since I discovered kink.

I'm kind of at a disadvantage because I give the impression of being dominant and I'm not. My default in-person flirt mode is that kind of innuendo which is a real nuisance! Also online, people seem to assume I am dom - or maybe it's just that sub types are more prone to wishful thinking, I don't know.

I was saying rep as a shortened version of represent, so the full question would be "how do you represent the scene" as in how do you bring it to the forefont. Glad you caught on with the context tho :)

I GET ALONG WELL WITH PEOPLE WHO find pleasure in consent and bodily autonomy - it's sexy af

The all caps portion is a prompt on the vanilla app the lower case is how I completed it. I've had a few matches directly ask me if I'm in the Lifestyle so those that know get it. And those that don't know at least share a common value that works for me

This is exactly the kinda reason why munches took off.

Because regardless of what someone's kink, dynamic, interests, etc are you know everyone there is kinky to some degree and there's stuff you can mention and even if they're not interested (in you, the kink, whatever) it's not going to lead to negative consequences

we do also live in a kinda era where MOST codewords are known in public - vanilla has been used in mainstream TV (including Dr Who and WWE - quite a lot) as it passes for PG - people know what you mean when they say "you want a woman to take the lead" - it's not discreet.

Public spaces are somewhat difficult to manage, but the main thing is - why do people in this public space NEED to know?

I just say I'm an old kinky Dom!!! She's gonna find out sooner or later and I practice honesty and frankness.
If she's offended.... What do I care??? I don't want her anyway!!!

I really struggle with being open in public. I went to an event last night, and there were a few moments when I felt like I was making others uncomfortable, and I really don't want to do that. It's hard to find balance and project your kink like a care bear stare without blasting them in the face if they aren't receptive.

8 hours ago, Hotchpotch said:

Following because I've wondered the same. (Not sure what you mean by "rep", but I get what the question is.)

I confess I've always left it to the other person to broach the subject. My vanilla profile includes "Just stepping out of my comfort zone in the bedroom" - that gives an opening for them to ask. (That's a bit out of date actually, I should edit it to "stepped out". šŸ˜‰)

But with someone met in the wild, I have no idea! Hasn't happened so far, since I discovered kink.

I'm kind of at a disadvantage because I give the impression of being dominant and I'm not. My default in-person flirt mode is that kind of innuendo which is a real nuisance! Also online, people seem to assume I am dom - or maybe it's just that sub types are more prone to wishful thinking, I don't know.

Rep is a commonly used shorthand like Flemish said, expect it to be used fairly frequently by people 35 and under

I'm a Trap Star, well respected in my city, so I do what I want. When it comes to a phrase, I like "Imma grab you by your throat, push you up against the wall in public, and kiss you in your mouth." Most women respond with excitement. I like to see how far I can take it before being band from the establishment. I've been band from a bunch of restaurants, šŸ˜‚. But I will keep ***'s innocent eyes in consideration.

17 hours ago, BRaZY_Official1 said:

I'm a Trap Star, well respected in my city, so I do what I want. When it comes to a phrase, I like "Imma grab you by your throat, push you up against the wall in public, and kiss you in your mouth." Most women respond with excitement. I like to see how far I can take it before being band from the establishment. I've been band from a bunch of restaurants, šŸ˜‚. But I will keep ***'s innocent eyes in consideration.

Wow this is the first question type thing on here I’ve read a thread on and I regret it. This isn’t a flex boss, this is embarrassing to brag about on here and do. Ain’t no employees got time for your grown azz to be needing to get thrown out cause you can’t act right

A few of my friends know I am in the app.

If it comes up in conversation , I mention that I have met some nice enough people (locally and otherwise), but have not met any real prospects.

Beyond that, I don't really talk about it.

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