Kink and fetish should be discussed without shame

[ne****]

Honestly, before this app i really felt shame or embarrassed about kink. Before this app, every kinky thing that I've did with a partner was the partner's first move or suggestion. I spoke about kink, fetish and sex positivity and what I'm into for the first time with a platonic friend. I felt relieved and happy that I could talk about it. I think kinky people are unique but normal while judgmental people are common yet weird and irrational.
I hide my face here on my public profile because I still feel like I'm going to be judged or talked about if people see this 🙃 but I'm very happy I get to be more open about this with like minded people. I'm curious about how people deal with this especially from non queer people perspective. I think as straight cis people we should learn from the queer community about sex positivity.

[pi****]

It ok to hide your face just know that everyone here is with u and supports u

[ne****]

35 minutes ago, pittsCrow said:

It ok to hide your face just know that everyone here is with u and supports u

Thank you! I do really appreciate that.

[Ba****]

Well i would agree that any discussion about sexuality and adjacent topics should be open and honest without any reasonable or irrational *** associated with it
But i have some personal investment in shame around such topics remaining their own thing, i have no shame of my own so experiencing my partners shame has kind of become one of my primary kinks

Ps i’m a dominant sadistic straight cis man, name one queer group generally less embraced by contemporary mainstream society than that
I don’t know but as one among the officially still considered to be sexually deviant and abnormal the last sentence seemed weirdly tone deaf

[ne****]

17 minutes ago, Barthold said:

Well i would agree that any discussion about sexuality and adjacent topics should be open and honest without any reasonable or irrational *** associated with it
But i have some personal investment in shame around such topics remaining their own thing, i have no shame of my own so experiencing my partners shame has kind of become one of my primary kinks

Ps i’m a dominant sadistic straight cis man, name one queer group generally less embraced by contemporary mainstream society than that
I don’t know but as one among the officially still considered to be sexually deviant and abnormal the last sentence seemed weirdly tone deaf

Well what i meant was that all my queer friends are more open even though they get judged by cis straight people. And even with people who pretend to be into kink they always normalize the man's role as a masculine. Personally I'm a switch. I'm talking about what I've seen and hears around me. Like this isn't facts about everyone but observations that I've made from people around me

[Al1]

Right we should be able to discuss our kinks and fetishes without shame. For the longest I was so embarrassed of people knowing mine but then I looked it up and found out I'm not the only one and that made it easier for me to tell the other people that has their own kinks and fetishs

[sh****]

44 minutes ago, new-york399978 said:

Well what i meant was that all my queer friends are more open even though they get judged by cis straight people. And even with people who pretend to be into kink they always normalize the man's role as a masculine. Personally I'm a switch. I'm talking about what I've seen and hears around me. Like this isn't facts about everyone but observations that I've made from people around me

I consider myself straight but im more switch also but like Al1 said dont be ashamed or judged i felt same way at first but you just have to do what u like or makes you happy dont worry about what people think took me awhile to get to that point but since then ive enjoyed myself and am happy for once even if people think it nit normal its my choice and if it makes me happy i dont care what people think we are here to support you for you no judgment here

[Ju****]

I was afraid for a little while to post my face in *** of being discovered until it happened, someone I knew as an aquaintence/friend messagede and asked what I was doing on the app. My worst *** was aqutually coming true! Turned out to be great, we've hooked up a couple of times. I realized, if they're on this app then we've got something in common and know that discretion is part of this community. I no longer worry about people seeing me here anymore.

[Ba****]

3 hours ago, new-york399978 said:

Well what i meant was that all my queer friends are more open even though they get judged by cis straight people. And even with people who pretend to be into kink they always normalize the man's role as a masculine. Personally I'm a switch. I'm talking about what I've seen and hears around me. Like this isn't facts about everyone but observations that I've made from people around me

I didn’t mean to come across as offended or something
I just wanted to make you aware that yes i too get judged by cis straight people but also by queer people, i even got called homophobe for expressing the opinions that “everybody f**Iks weird from some perspectives” and “most people are into some strange shit” a few times(things i mostly state out loud to debate actually intolerant people)
But i always assumed that opinions like these are part of the reason i can quite easily remain tolerant of people with differing tastes and preferences,
Also for my “position” all decent media representation i’ve seen is all lesbians for some reason(i’m almost sure there is some to be found among the thing catering to the male gays but i never made it past the buggery), seriously even the best(aka non-abusive) example is usually a story about two broken people being whole together

To get back to the thing you expressed curiosity about, i’m most likely not really all that representative but i was always almost too brutally open and, to the “relevant” people, honest leading said people to be more open with and around me and more honest with themselves and the people relevant to them
And i tend to deal with topics like this via long a** conversations/philosophical discussions but i assume that part isn’t too far of from how the queer people are doing it, right??

[Ni****]

I’m a bisexual woman but it just felt important to say that whilst I have ***ed judgment or shame around my sexual interests, the one thing I always remind myself of is that I’m not doing anything “wrong”. There is a lot of stigma and lack of understanding around the BDSM community but instead of allowing their judgement to make me feel less than, I choose to question and educate them on what its actually like, I’ve found that 9 times out of 10 they come away from that conversation with a little more understanding, which I feel perhaps reduces their judgment even if only slightly.
Ultimately people will judge you no matter what you do but you aren’t doing anything wrong by expressing yourself.
You don’t have to carry around the shame they have placed upon you!

[gr****]

I agree. I do have some dark stuff by my standards of kink. Grok has good information from a psychological dynamic state where kink is to be understood and a hybrid approach can be very helpful. For instance I have a couple topics that really mess up (lightly stated) a person in life. To go through RP can help visit, renew with better thoughts, understand evaluate oneself. Even better it can pair into therapy. Will therapy "cure"? No. I choose not to until I can put my full weighted foot on that ice.

I'm very similar to the OP's explanation as far as personality and interaction go. It's actually kinda scary how close. So I just got here to throw out safe-to-me self expression to see what happens.

[Sq****]

Love the message I don’t get how any adult can shame and not understand. The fact we don’t get to choose what we’re into.

[Al****]

Sometimes it is just education. Let me set the visual. I was at a an out door swingers pool party and people are having sex everywhere on a large piece of property: jacuzzi , pool , there was Evan a line for the Sonia’s. We are sitting at a table taking a break getting to know one another and this guy starts to get upset. I asked why? He pointed out this guy giving another guy a blow job on the dance floor. He says why do they have to do that here. I know there are girls making out and having sex everywhere. I am one if them. I look at him and say I am sure there are many things you do that you can’t tell your friends and family and this place is one of them. How can you judge them. He got quiet. After the event I ran into him and he went up do me and told me he had thought about what I had said and thanked me. Media always portrays girl on girl so it is more easily accepted. The more media makes it normal and not a thing it will become more acceptable. The more people talk about sex the more it will become normal. 50 shades hurt and helped this community. Helped people started to admit they liked it. Hurt because people thought a Dom just was mean and beat people. Education is huge. They need to also have porn show reality not film angle stupid plots. There used to be a very good female director who had classy BDSM. I wish more girls/ sis and other kink people would start to talk classy online and move into the industry in movies and online. Not showing shock drama that I feel hurts images and acceptance.

Years later I go to a crucible outdoor camping event and there are all types there and I notice queer community accepted. No problems. You just have to find your people and I find BDSM is more accepting.

[ne****]

On 2/4/2026 at 5:51 AM, SquirtLuvr69 said:

Love the message I don’t get how any adult can shame and not understand. The fact we don’t get to choose what we’re into.

Exactly 💯 attraction, fetishes and kinks are literally what our brains desire on a neurological level. As long as consent is mutual and no one getting permanent damage there should be no judgment. *

[ne****]

16 hours ago, AllTiedUpInVa said:

Sometimes it is just education. Let me set the visual. I was at a an out door swingers pool party and people are having sex everywhere on a large piece of property: jacuzzi , pool , there was Evan a line for the Sonia’s. We are sitting at a table taking a break getting to know one another and this guy starts to get upset. I asked why? He pointed out this guy giving another guy a blow job on the dance floor. He says why do they have to do that here. I know there are girls making out and having sex everywhere. I am one if them. I look at him and say I am sure there are many things you do that you can’t tell your friends and family and this place is one of them. How can you judge them. He got quiet. After the event I ran into him and he went up do me and told me he had thought about what I had said and thanked me. Media always portrays girl on girl so it is more easily accepted. The more media makes it normal and not a thing it will become more acceptable. The more people talk about sex the more it will become normal. 50 shades hurt and helped this community. Helped people started to admit they liked it. Hurt because people thought a Dom just was mean and beat people. Education is huge. They need to also have porn show reality not film angle stupid plots. There used to be a very good female director who had classy BDSM. I wish more girls/ sis and other kink people would start to talk classy online and move into the industry in movies and online. Not showing shock drama that I feel hurts images and acceptance.

Years later I go to a crucible outdoor camping event and there are all types there and I notice queer community accepted. No problems. You just have to find your people and I find BDSM is more accepting.

I'm a switch but more often I play the Dom role than I do with submission. I do what I do more for my partners pleasure than my own as a Dom not because I like hurting my partner. But if I tell a judgemental person about being dominant they'll think I just like to cause ***