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End Goal


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I tell men upfront because I don't want a passing phase I want it to be my end game. So I guess it depends on person

4 hours ago, Nerdygal856 said:

I may be too much of a noob for this question. Is it so rare that people end up with their play partners?

I wouldn't say rare but the success/failure rate is the same as any other relationship because everything else has to click and work too.

14 hours ago, Nerdygal856 said:

I may be too much of a noob for this question. Is it so rare that people end up with their play partners?

It’s not rare, especially if that was what everyone wanted from the start.

15 hours ago, Nerdygal856 said:

I may be too much of a noob for this question. Is it so rare that people end up with their play partners?

it's like anything, I guess.   Like to be a play partner with someone does involve trust, and sometimes intimacy.  This doesn't mean for one or both there is any feelings of more.  Sometimes people like the idea of someone they ONLY play with, maybe a little social.  Some, well, it depends when there's more in common than kink.

I think you would need to know what the person is doing in their masterbatory life when you’re not there. If they’re kinky when they’re alone, then they will continue to be kinky with you, don’t you worry about that :-)
If they stop being kinky with you, then chances are pretty good. They don’t feel safe to let that side out anymore, either because you expose them publicly by talking about their Kings to other people without their consent or you’re not willing to do something that they really want or you are doing something that they really don’t want. Same as any relationship it will shut down if safety is threatened somehow.

Monday at 08:35 PM, nelson995176 said:

I think you would need to know what the person is doing in their masterbatory life when you’re not there. If they’re kinky when they’re alone, then they will continue to be kinky with you, don’t you worry about that :-)
If they stop being kinky with you, then chances are pretty good. They don’t feel safe to let that side out anymore, either because you expose them publicly by talking about their Kings to other people without their consent or you’re not willing to do something that they really want or you are doing something that they really don’t want. Same as any relationship it will shut down if safety is threatened somehow.

This 100% ty

For me kink isn't a phase but also not a end goal, it a part of your life. Like many lifestyles it only a part of a bigger whole and can move up and down priority wise with life

JackJonesHull

Personally it's just a part of who I am.

Other people I have met may only have been dipping their toe in though and I'm comfortable with that. But dipping a toe in to check the comfort levels can just as easily cause a lifelong swim around as it can a run for safety. Some head for the deep end straight away which, in my opinion, is usually a sign it's a temporary thing. Some work their way through the depths gradually which I usually take as a sign they're staying.

I've never experienced a true Vanilla person change their mind and embrace a Kinky/BDSM lifestyle. It's either in your mind, body and soul, or it isn't. They may say they want to engage with you, but they will not be an active participant. Frustration builds, eventually driving them apart. One stuck where they are. The other exploring and growing. Keeping their sex life fresh and exciting.

FETMOD-TF
5 minutes ago, Scorpionlust269 said:

Why isn't my input being submitted?

The Kink Academy forum is a moderated forum. Your comment was just waiting to be reviewed by a moderator to make sure the content was SFW - Safe for Work as per app store requirements. 

I tell people BDSM has ruined me for vanilla partners. Their go to seduction tactics do nothing for me. In some cases repulses me. It most definitely is my end game. I don't mind people on their discovery journey. Long term unless we were open dynamic

In my area, kink is a bucket list to be checked off - as much as they can get away with... rather annoying for those where its a true lifestyle.

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