How to be a pet owner?

[Deleted Member]

The following thoughts may sound a little idealistic.

Within the context of BDSM, I believe a pet owner (Dom) should already have certain qualities and preparation before seeking a pet. These include: proactive and honest communication, clear boundaries, solid knowledge of hygiene and safety, a proper understanding of BDSM dynamics, the ability to address issues rather than dismiss them, empathy, emotional stability, personal responsibility, and mutual respect.

In my view, these are not things that should be learned passively after finding a pet. They are part of the foundation. Entering a dynamic without this preparation can easily lead to misunderstandings or harm.

If the relationship is long-distance and intended to be long-term under an Owner/pet dynamic, then caring for the pet’s emotional well-being and needs becomes an even greater responsibility. A pet is not a toy. Obedience and affection should be built on respect and trust. Everything must be grounded in a sense of safety.

I’m curious how others define what a good Owner should be like. Are the standards I mentioned too high? Or are they simply what should be expected?

[Th****]

All valid points.
I have been sought out to be an owner at some point and after a lot of hesitation and talking explored. I did not have any experience yet have a furry pet IRL. While different aspects pertain with a human pet here obv, some things are just common sense . Like with anything in life if you can’t talk and negotiate, repair and draw boundaries nothing good (or lasting) will ever transpire

[18****]

“Not a fan of sex”

[DeviantInside]

I think all of this should apply regardless of the type of dynamic or relationship. Those standards should be the be the base level of expectation.

[do****]

44 minutes ago, DeviantInside said:

I think all of this should apply regardless of the type of dynamic or relationship. Those standards should be the be the base level of expectation.

☝🏾 that part

[El****]

On 2/11/2026 at 11:23 AM, ThecameraCAT said:

I’m curious how others define what a good Owner should be like. Are the standards I mentioned too high? Or are they simply what should be expected?

I don't think its the standards that are the problem, I think its more of a lack of doms that actually know what they are doing. most of the doms ive seen just want sex and nothing else, completely forgetting that the pet wants to be treated like a pet outside of sexual stuff. 

Like take me for example, I do not want to be seen as human at all, of course we would set boundary's and stuff before anything became solid and if and when things change, of course the sub and dom should still talk about those things if they become a problem. just because a sub is a pet does not mean they have absolutely no safety net.

TL;DR: some doms need to actually learn what they are getting into and completely understanding it before full forcing it.

[Ja****]

It's absolutely the basics behind any dynamic.

These things are hard to learn and properly grow without experience though. However, a lot of the qualities can be practiced with oneself. Do you take care of yourself? Are you honest with your own feelings? Do you try to understand what it means to be in relationship like this? Have you cared to study the dynamics and what is expected? If you can't answer these types of questions positively, then you're not ready.

Listening and understanding are important, and being able to cater to your Sub's desires is what makes the difference between a good Dom and someone who is just going to be selfish and self-serving.

In terms of Pet Play; my pets, whether furry or otherwise, are very important to me. As a pet owner, the most important thing is that you pay attention to your pet. Are you aware of what their behavior means? Is it time to be strict or to be comforting? Is something upsetting them and can you get their focus away from it? Are they upset or do they just crave attention?

What you describe is certainly the bare minimum. But a GOOD pet owner should be able to look at you and know how you feel, what you're desiring; as long as they're given time to get to know your quirks. But you should feel attended to regardless. I describe it like trying to look into your soul, and you should feel that way from a good owner you've bonded with, that by making eye contact with them they see right into you. When they want you to do something, your body language should tell them how you feel about it at least on a basic level. Good communication is important, but that includes noticing body languages AND discussing the more complex feelings you may have. Of course if we're doing pet play, you may not be in a headspace to use your words, and that is why understanding the body language is pinnacle for a good owner.