Advice On Choosing and Preparing For Event

[Dr****]

Last night, someone tried to scam me into paying *** for an event in the Chicago area, and that got me thinking. As I am new in exploring this lifestyle, what are the steps that a newbie can take to best choose an event that is safest for them? How can they prepare themselves so that the event can be a rich one for them?

[Domina_Lisa007]

Start with munchs first. Yes, you have to pay for events that people have. We call them play partied. It covers overhead, snacks...etc. A munch is where you go to a restaurant and meet people and have food. You do pay for yourself. Then maybe ask people at the Munch about play parties and find out where the safe ones are. I live near DC, and we have several good ones and several bad ones. But a munch will make it easier to ask questions, and you can grow with the community. I hope this helps.

[ha****]

..a what party? can you explain?

[Domina_Lisa007]

A play party? A party where you play. Either sexual or just impact. Depending on where you live. Private dungeons

[Pa****]

To throw in a tangent, are you looking to attend as a solo, or as a couple?

[ra****]

I recommend F E T…. L I F E… check out munches and then events in your area to start…

[ey****]

so, kinda - a lot does depend on what the right event is for you.  

But ultimately, does the event actually exist? And that shouldn't be too difficult to work out.  Like most people end up finding out about sex/fetish/swing clubs anyway - and the whole kinda "secret kink party" while they do exist, a random newbie wouldn't be invited - so that should always fail the sniff test. 

But, yeah - start with munches. Meet people in the community.   Discuss with others which events exist and you can gauge which ones might be right for you

Munches are free; but other events, yes they have an entrance charge (and sometimes membership requirements) you're not being scammed for paying these, even if the event doesn't end up being for you.  Most people who do disappoint themselves with events is because they go expecting, or hinging their hopes on something happening - and, well, you can't control other people's wants to do things with you.

[Mi****]

1. Manage your expectations. You’re new in the kink scene. Nobody knows you and you don’t know anyone. It’s not a sexual free for all. Basic rules of kindergarten apply: look but don’t touch. If you don’t have something nice to say, don’t say anything at all. Say please and thank you. Be kind. People aren’t likely to want to do pick up play with a stranger.

2. Do your research. You’ve got two thumbs (I hope) and an Internet. Research these groups/events you want to attend. Most groups use FetLife these days or their own website as a base of operations. If they’re legitimate they should have clearly stated rules, fee schedules, etc. You wouldn’t buy a car without research. Why are you going to trust to do something dangerous that could potentially result in great bodily harm or death without research first?

3. Many groups charge entrance fees for events other than munches. This is how they fund their events. Or do you think *** mysteriously appears under the St. Andrew’s Cross every year to fund a kink group for a whole year of providing events? It takes a lot of volunteers time, ***, sweat, and tears, and usually donations of personal finances on top of group funds, to run a kink group with any effective longevity.