Using Fet behind a partners back

[Mi****]

I considered this cheating when I was in the same situation. The claim being they were using the forums alone. I think from this moment forward, if interested in the sites, a joint account on Fet must be made. Personal opinion 🤷🏻‍♀️

[Ki****]

Shity

[ad****]

Stupid

[jpb]

Sorry why even menton Fet, the quesrion is “what are your thoughts on cheating” scum move bro but lifes complex and i dont know your situation.
I kmow i would not use a dating app as a method to cheat, far too many people to run into, having the app on a phone, all sounds a turn off.
Wont lie ive cheated and it was not worth it, if you are making plans ro cheat just end the relationship, otherwise its a paranoid life which will come out.
Choose low drama, low stress, if you wznna bang about, choose being single

[ra****]

That sounds like Tinder behavior 🤨

[Wr****]

I value truthfulness in the people I allow in my life. Someone who is cheating or considering it isn't someone I will interact with.

[Ba****]

I'm non-monogamous. My biggest rule is that we talk about things. If they want to mess around behind my back, guess what? It won't be behind my back after I found out. I've broken up with people for things that far less of a betrayal.

[Pinkglitterybrat]

Not dumb at all - you think they dont know, but they know.

I would even suggest that your capacity for understanding very basic things such as honesty, trust and respect are the very reason they arent even bothered addressing it. They probably even googled BDSM and seen that these 3 things are kinda important.. and are laughing at how you think you are the master of deceit... yet you are the only one believing the story.

[de****]

Yeah she played me for dumb and I haven’t called her out on it but what’s the point. I noticed the long delays weeknights where I deducted she was looking at who she wanted on the app, all lines out. Then ending our relationship OVERNITE she joined, probably in her crazed mind thinking that didn’t overlap so it’s all okay. The worst part of it is I was down with her as she didn’t mind running into another girl for us 3 never happened but. and we implemented BDSM in a more minor way, collar leash etc, so I was obviously down. Having been together having regular rough intimacy and not thinking I could handle it? Like we’re both tall, not short by any stretch so it could have been very ideal. But she still loved what we were doing week in week out, just didn’t open her big mouth in the year and a half to let me know she was interested in more. This was all talk of future, marriage moving in together. And for what. Her nutso mind made her want go cheat with a complete downgrade all the way. Not single she was within 12 days. Disgusting boy, yes I’ve asked around and he’s confirmed ugly. Witch much? Like f*c it, what IS stopping me from calling her Sk**k a** out for petty childish behavior. The kicker is I asked her, Is there someone else in our final convo face to face, and I should have known her being emotionless which was very unlike her, saying No….. like you guys are all great and supportive but f*k her for turning to this app to betray when we were monogamous all the way thru,a switch flipped in her in the new year. Full disclosure I was a terrific boyfriend to her treating her like gold, heartless stone cold debauchery. This one hurt like a mofo. Thanks guys

[sardonicus87]

Unethical, end of discussion.

[Sl****]

Is this just for trolling? Are you considering using FET behind an unknowing partner - or are you asking because you’re suspicious?

As others say, partners should simply put their intentions out there for the other person. If there’s not enough respect for them or dignity for oneself to be transparent, nothing will end well because the truth typically percolates.

HOWEVER… coming onto a fetish site to sneak about adds another layer of bringing outside people into cheating drama that makes things even more revolting. I highly urge that anyone considering an attempt to expose FET people to nefarious behavior should be swiftly called out.
Maybe there are FET members who have no regard for unethical cheating but I’ve yet to cross paths with one. Maybe whoever is thinking of attempting to cheat thinks that ENM/poly et al partners are casual or not concerned about being stereotyped that way. I’ve seen the most caring members who value transparency while they abhor liars and cheaters.

[Li****]

If you're giving out an impression you're single, available or interested in someone when in a relationship- regardless of playform or irl, you should not be with someone when they are serious about a commited relationship and you clearly aren't. You should be single and honest.

And people wonder why we choose to be single but it's because people have option 2, 3, 4 and the rest lined up in waiting.

[Deleted Member]

None of us knows what OP is doing, has done, is thinking of etc.
They may just be posting, asking for confirmation or social awareness, or wanting to glean general consensus here.
Whether They 'are or aren't' any which thing, this is a query to be responded to and doesn't need insults IMHO regardless if one is being dishonest or such.

IMHO, being active on any site, or in any group, or involved in ANY thing which one or more partners would find a *** of their relationship with me, or a breach of trust, boundaries etc, is a BIG NO.
For Myself, this even includes pornographic materials, and, observing, others specifically with sexual thrills in mind knowing it goes outside of previously agreed upon boundaries, tenets.

If You are hiding anything from partners which would directly affect the interaction, it's not healthy or cool.
If you don't know if said thing would negatively, positively, neutrally affect the interaction/relationship/entanglement/scene and so forth, The conversation to learn so needs to happen.

[ok****]

Anything you have to good from your partner is cheating (unless it's a birthday surprise or something like that)

[sa****]

Cheating. Worst betrayal you can commit. You should be ashamed of yourself.

[da****]

What the f**k is wrong with you. If you’re going to be unfaithful in your relationship just end it to save your partner from trauma, people like you are what’s wrong with the world. Get into a non monogamous relationship or stay single it’s really that simple.

[61****]

Man just be single, you can even post pics and have no worries!!! Life is too short to both be miserable

[Te****]

Thats a consent *** straight off the bat!

[Ve****]

Cheating is scummy, end of story lol

[Ma****]

Is it not called micro cheating?

[em****]

It’s a no from me

[Na****]

Sounds like it's not getting permission or consent so that's a big no for me

[Ta****]

What happened to the four pillars?
TRUST RESPECT HONESTY COMMUNICATION
After all Fet is a kink dating site.
Put yourself in your partners shoes & how they will feel when you get found out & trust me, one day you will. The betrayal will hit so deep for your partner trust me, are you happy you risk hurting your partner like this?

[ro****]

As we all know this lifestyle is based on trust. Everything should be disclosed at the start.

[mo****]

Honesty is the best policy