FLR advice

[bd****]

I'm curious if anyone has advice for trying to date a more dominant woman. I'm worried about coming across too wimpy and simpy. I'm a deeply romantic person and I wear my heart on my sleeve. But it always seems to get to a point where I feel like they have somewhere lost respect or interest, or both. Somewhere between the gifts and the doting things fall apart. Does anyone else have experiences like this? Any advice for dating stronger women in general?

[La****]

Ugh. Please dont ever be scared of looking ‘wimpy or simpy’. We are as human, suppose to treat our SO with respect, love and kindness. Being romantic and considerate are the bare minimum in romantic relationship. Modern culture shame ppl to feel guilty on actually liking their own lover. Human are suppose to engage and put effort into their relationship. Especially if youre a sub with a domme. You are suppose to worship her. You are suppose to serve her. It’s just the standards. What will make dominant women lose respect is when you don’t have a spine. Don’t have personality and your own principles. Yes we lead. But it doesn’t mean you should have a character of a doorknob. Wearing your heart on your sleeve is a damn strength. Don’t ever think that its a weakness. You are a human being. You suppose to feel and express. If someone dont reciprocate simply when you being you—than its just not your person. Case closed. Don’t blame it on the way you express your love. Most dommes would like their sub to be obsessed, needy and clingy. Some aren’t. Keep searching.

[la****]

You do need to have qualities other than submissiveness that make you interesting and attractive to a powerful woman who does not need you.

Do you have your own hobbies and interests, friend group, etc? She doesn’t need someone who is dependent on her like a child. You should have means of entertaining yourself without her.

You also might just be moving too fast and raising “lovebombing” red flags. Pace yourself. Take your time. Observe and be thoughtful and intentional. Demonstrate both self-control as well as passion.

Try to make sure you are really seeing the person in front of you for who they are, not an idealized projection. Make sure they actually like you for you, and aren’t just bored killing time until the kind of person they really want comes along.

[ey****]

the main thing is you have to have more in common than kinks.     The other thing is a lot of potential partners will find the idea of a FLR, especially with someone new/inexperinced/unsure to be off-putting... because more often than not it involves the man trying to dump off responsibilities/emotional labour/etc onto the other person AND expect play/kinks/their fetishes met/etc.    treat FLR as an end point rather than a starting one, and in this demonstrate how this makes her life better, not adding to her work.  Being wimpy/simpy/etc is not the issue, being work is.

[La****]

45 minutes ago, eyemblacksheep said:

the main thing is you have to have more in common than kinks.     The other thing is a lot of potential partners will find the idea of a FLR, especially with someone new/inexperinced/unsure to be off-putting... because more often than not it involves the man trying to dump off responsibilities/emotional labour/etc onto the other person AND expect play/kinks/their fetishes met/etc.    treat FLR as an end point rather than a starting one, and in this demonstrate how this makes her life better, not adding to her work.  Being wimpy/simpy/etc is not the issue, being work is.

Well said. Too many so called male subs fantasizing FLR and said they dont want to think about what they need to in life. Meanwhile they also dont know anything about serving, cannot take orders and know how make the domme’s life easier. Whats the difference than treating the domme as their servant then? If anything, it makes them have a parasitic mindset rather than submitting.

[Ul****]

All you need to do is just be yourself and not something you're not.
Dating someone and being a sub/play partner are different things.
People, especially dom/dommes, see through that straight away and ruin any trusted from the offset.
If that person likes you, then they like you for being you, but if your feeling that they are enjoying things like the gifts more then they are enjoying time with you, then maybe its not on the cards.

[Bl****]

I feel like both groups have heavily influenced patriarchy-derived mindsets that they need to pull away from. The “male subs” tend to have the biggest differential to overcome. I feel like maybe some sort of midway/ yet somehow kinky still group could make sure that all parties stop being dumb about each other. But like honestly I wish that group also existed outside even for non-BDSM folk

[Deleted Member]

Sounds like you need a good flushing you know start off with your own put you on a cross giving you an *** enema yeah whiplash at tender Fanny yeah send you I don't know market you know so how are you doing

[Go****]

To be honest you just have to be dating the right one, they're ones who only enjoy domination in the bedroom or ones who are actually just switches. There's very few that are true doms.

[MistressWhipplash]

It's about mutual consent formed while getting to know each other. When I am getting to a know a person to see how we get on I tell the person in direct language. No romance, no kink or talk of sex or I block.

In daily life talk in an ordinary way. I set the pace and the plan. If that person attempts to push their way I block them as incompatible with how I do things. Not everybody is brave enough to be submissive or slave. Many newbies are play bottoms, which is okay but not for me.

Any rudeness from that random person who cold messaged me and they are blocked. I know what I like.

[sn****]

Mutual consent and doing things in public for your domme or mistress in public and no one knows but u think everyone knows