Fem Domme or just confident?

[Deleted Member]

I’m new to this dynamic so bear with me!

Met a few guys and had a lot of fun trying out the punitive stuff together. My question is about my style of Domme, I know a lot are sadistic and harsh,the stereotype. As I’m new I’m trying things out but I’m leaning into the sensual softer side, the leading and being confident. A more fun, chilled environment but still issuing instructions and taking control. So am a Domme or just a confident women who gets pleasure from the usual punitive type activities?

[La****]

I encourage you to read my profile. The point of being a domme is to do what you want and not what they want. You are a domme not a kink dispenser. Meaning... I'ts for you not for them. Don't forget that.

[do****]

dom or switch for sure by the sound of it. don’t have to be sadistic or any kind of style to be a dominant woman just means you like control. like topping from the bottom vs power bottom sounds fitting if unsure what they are might start there

how u choose to be dominant always have to be your style and desire or won’t be genuine and probably not that great. don’t get confused with that u cant do things to please your partner. there’s always room for compromise, trade offs, and exploration what best then a willing person asking if doesn’t go over boundaries. i always felt i leaned dominant i opened up to submission and love it.

last part just because someone ask if your interested in a exploring a kink doesn’t make you a kink dispenser. most are here to explore and to explore a kink u have to make sure someone willing first. what better way then asking. me myself due to high volume of scammers and financial doms and add that not everyone willing to do all kinks, asking if interested in a kink is often early in conversation followed by making sure making sure there not wanting a payment. then if on same page i attempt to get to know them and try for meeting somewhere to get comfortable. if needed.

iv found for me the dynamic between me and my partner varies by common interests and boundaries. might find a sub like myself that likes mixed play i like a bit sadistic play and you may find out you like it.

[Ve****]

I‘ve had the great pleasure of meeting livestye Femdoms at munches. They are all unique, wise and very lovable human beeings, each with Her own personality and style.
Don‘t let Yourself be distracted by stereotypes. You are perfect how You are, You‘ll find Your way.

[ey****]

A lot of titles are usually about wearing the coat you feel most comfortable with.  A lot of definitions are a bit more flexible - and ultimately there is no one-true-way.      You're doing what you like for your pleasure, that's certainly something no one should reasonably argue with if you choose to use Domme.

However, if you feel that still doesn't fit you - you don't have to use it.

[Deleted Member]

5 hours ago, LadyJayn said:

I encourage you to read my profile. The point of being a domme is to do what you want and not what they want. You are a domme not a kink dispenser. Meaning... I'ts for you not for them. Don't forget that.

LadyJayn profile read and enjoyed! Your energy for sure comes across. Appreciate the message and the reminder, couldn’t agree more x

[SensualLover696]

43 minutes ago, london980698 said:

LadyJayn profile read and enjoyed! Your energy for sure comes across. Appreciate the message and the reminder, couldn’t agree more x

You're a strong and confident divine Feminine who knows exactly what she wants and isn't afraid to ask for it in a respectful, yet firm manner. Perfect balance.

[bl****]

You’re style of delivery deeply resonates with me. Would love to chat.

[tu****]

Not at all. the sub has to draw a map of what is acceptable and what is not. the idea is pleasure for both. this has been a very big issue for everyone into sub/ Domme relationships. In my experience if you feel like having to constantly explain to a domme is more a sign thet he is not good one because they are not interested in getting to please you only getting from you what they want. Maybe they simply are not into it.It’s ok when your kink doesn’t match others. This is also why aftercare is so important.

[Er****]

This is a fantastic introspective question. I think something important to remember is that we can’t answer that question for you or tell you who are you are, but we can certainly provide different perspectives for you to consider. Personally, I don’t put much weight into labels or definitions. I like what I like, and I don’t try to fit within a certain definition. I have a very wide range from wanting to pleasure others to wanting others to pleasure me. I like going from full control dom to mostly sub. To me, the adventure and excitement comes from doing something different. So finding a label and sticking to the firm definition of what that means would actually just restrict me. I think you’re finding out what you like and it seems like you’re enjoying the discovery. If you want to lean into the sensual side and see where it goes, do it! You might love it! Or you might hate it and find out you don’t want to do it anymore. Either way, you learn something about yourself. We know you have confidence, and that’s a good thing regardless of which label describes you. But my advice would be to focus more on what you enjoy, rather than which label you fit into.

[Deleted Member]

1 hour ago, Eric522 said:

This is a fantastic introspective question. I think something important to remember is that we can’t answer that question for you or tell you who are you are, but we can certainly provide different perspectives for you to consider. Personally, I don’t put much weight into labels or definitions. I like what I like, and I don’t try to fit within a certain definition. I have a very wide range from wanting to pleasure others to wanting others to pleasure me. I like going from full control dom to mostly sub. To me, the adventure and excitement comes from doing something different. So finding a label and sticking to the firm definition of what that means would actually just restrict me. I think you’re finding out what you like and it seems like you’re enjoying the discovery. If you want to lean into the sensual side and see where it goes, do it! You might love it! Or you might hate it and find out you don’t want to do it anymore. Either way, you learn something about yourself. We know you have confidence, and that’s a good thing regardless of which label describes you. But my advice would be to focus more on what you enjoy, rather than which label you fit into.

Yes I like this! I for sure am very much enjoying this journey, it’s empowering and exciting.

[Deleted Member]

1 hour ago, tucson71397 said:

Not at all. the sub has to draw a map of what is acceptable and what is not. the idea is pleasure for both. this has been a very big issue for everyone into sub/ Domme relationships. In my experience if you feel like having to constantly explain to a domme is more a sign thet he is not good one because they are not interested in getting to please you only getting from you what they want. Maybe they simply are not into it.It’s ok when your kink doesn’t match others. This is also why aftercare is so important.

I’m a Domme and most of the subs who approach me are happy with the way I want to go about things. I always ask for there limits. Aftercare to date has been delicious from my perspective and sad that some Dommes haven’t provided that for my subs previously.

[Lo****]

Main thing is everyone is having fun.. Don't worry about labels soo much.. Everyone has a different idea what most things are anyways..

[Ch****]

I would try and worry less about labels. Many people have many different ideas of what a dominant should or shouldn’t be and that may look very different to the next person. Being soft and caring doesn’t make you any less of a dominant, nor does inflicting punishment make you any less soft. I personally prefer a softer domme as well as a few punishments when they called for

[Jake-6421]

That’s what I would love to try. Being controlled and instructed but not in a sadistic type of way

[sp****]

I am definitely into more this style than just sadistic cruelty.

[Deleted Member]

So it seems that a less sadistic style would be welcomed by a lot of subs which is reassuring to hear. Labels can fuck off, it’s about mutual enjoyment and satisfaction whatever form that takes 👌🏽😊

[Rhuie]

please don’t believe the stereotypes. All of my Dommes have been gentle yet firm. Always in control yet not overbearing. They provide confidence, guidance and structure. Never degrading or humiliating. Your style is what you make it. The relationship between you and your sub is what the two of you define it as. You can look at different styles as inspiration but ultimately it’s all up to you.

[Rhuie]

To give you a few examples, You can also punish for things like … “for all the times he didn’t think he was handsome” … “for all the times he didn’t think he was cherished by you” … “for all the times he had doubt in how incredible he was” … “for the times he doubted his abilities” … “for not taking care of himself with exercise, hydration and getting enough sleep”. My Mommy Domme always made sure I got enough rest, did well in school, etc. Because she believed in me, I gave her my mind, body and soul.

[aa****]

Hi misterssi am submissive sissyslut in Richmond va

[ha****]

I’m mistress Kailey ,I seeking for a lil lost kinky sub who will love honor worship serve and obey me that's in need of training discipline punishment pleasure love and guidance control protection

[ha****]

I’m a Dom woman , I’m the lady on my profile , the man on my profile pics is my sub

[Deleted Member]

Wednesday at 10:35 PM, Rhuie said:

To give you a few examples, You can also punish for things like … “for all the times he didn’t think he was handsome” … “for all the times he didn’t think he was cherished by you” … “for all the times he had doubt in how incredible he was” … “for the times he doubted his abilities” … “for not taking care of himself with exercise, hydration and getting enough sleep”. My Mommy Domme always made sure I got enough rest, did well in school, etc. Because she believed in me, I gave her my mind, body and soul.

And what were the punishments for these infractions?

[Rhuie]

1 hour ago, london980698 said:

And what were the punishments for these infractions?

Most of the time it was more days in chastity / release denial. I got the fun stuff when I was a good boy and made her proud.

[Sa****]

My submissive is very obedient. However, he will still be receiving *** & pleasure. He is well aware of how Our dynamic works.