Did you read or had a Mentor help you?

[Ba****]

What a weird binary
Is there anyone here who didn’t read??
Wouldn’t it be a failure for a mentor not to tell you to go read something??

But yeah i was a „fake dom“ for way too long before i grew up so i and the people around me would have really benefited from me having some sort of mentorship but well i was too young to get it

So i‘m mostly self-taught, as soon as i could read letters i got a library card to read dry ass text books on sexual psychology and started using that kind of information as soon as i had a practical use for it, i dropped most of the problematic things before the law stopped considering me as the victim by default and started looking into ethics and philosophy

By now i don’t think there is much left i could gain from having a mentor
But i had partners who where mentoring people so i have been used as „example dom“ for demonstrations
I agree with the principle behind the concept and am quite comfortable giving advice so i can see myself being a sort of mentor, well mostly being „don’t be like me kids, it’s bad“-guy but still

[NJ****]

I was very involved in the community and feel I benefited learning from those with decades of experience. Workshops, weekend events/conferences , MAsT meetings all really helped with learning nuances. Self taught can be very limiting and lack deeper understanding of safety and psychological details. The difficulty is in finding others with clues to the experience I have. I hate when a newbie asks me to teach them. If you understand the dynamic, expecting a sub to teach in detail really undermines the dynamic.

[Ba****]

I read, watched videos, and communicated with others who were more experienced, not really mentored by, but close to it. I asked questions and they answered them. I did what I wanted, and researched what I didn't know about.

For newbies I suggest that you do what you feel the most comfortable with and then go from there. If that means just researching and reading at first, okay.

[Da****]

The thing I tell people is this..... Research research research, and if you think you know everything research some more. I also tell them to be careful. There are a lot of predators who use kink to find their next victim. Create a vetting list for yourself and you can find a list of questions on Google for vetting. Attend local munches to meet people in the community. Let them know you're new and usually ( if they're a good group) would assign a vetted long term in good standing member to mentor you in the ways of the group. Also ask questions. In kink there are no stupid questions. If you have questions write them down.

[da****]

I read a lot. Literotica can be a good source but it can’t be the only source as it is mostly fictional stories and not all are accurate. Fetlife I’ve talked to some people and learned there too.

[Pr****]

I learned bye reading and now I’m looking for someone to teach me all about it

[Deleted Member]

I have found podcasts on YouTube and other videos very informative and eye opening

[da****]

I was introduced to kink by a friend and that lead me to do research and read up on my own.