Two Ships Passing in the Night : The journey to find my missing half as a D-type

[Deleted Member]

The struggle is real for some of us. Too real. From being discarded, broken-hearted, to just seeking the right one in the wrong places; it always feels like you're half a whole.

 

This feeling can get worse when you're out and about in the community seeing happy dynamics and married couples enjoying their lives together and you are just a play partner, a secondary partner, or just a monogamous individual trapped in a poly world and mostly poly community. This journey, for some of us, is utterly lonely and quite ***ful.

 

But I have often said there is a sadomasochistic beauty in that growth process. No, that doesn't take away from the loneliness and the void that not having a dedicated s-type fulfills. 

 

Submissives who face the same single path talk a lot about feeling lost, underutilized, and lacking purpose. I think it's very fair to say we Dominants suffer the same ***s. Some weather better than others, because some believe a "true" Dominant (I loathe that theory by the way. True this or true that. Ugh!) is stoic and doesn't show outward signs of vulnerability. I, for one, personally disagree wholeheartedly. I think it takes a much stronger and valuable Dominant to be real about his feelings and in touch with them rather than tow a line.

 

Lately, my journey has me on the fence on whether or not I wish to continue it. I personally feel I did not spend 16 hard years learning, growing, and evolving to not utilize all I have learned and all I have to offer. But something keeps me holding onto hope. Whatever it may be, it won't let me give up just yet and as a spiritual man; I'm inclined to go where the wind takes me when it comes to how the universe pulls or pushes me. 

 

Right now as much as I have a foot out the door, something tells me to wait. But my patience grows thin, years pass me by, and I remind myself that sometimes it's comparable to two ships passing in the night. The one you're looking for just may not have noticed you yet or vice versa.

 

As cliche as it sounds and as often as I brush this fact off in my own struggles to find my forever slave, it is indeed true. For me, I wish to marry my future slave/sub. I am simply not interested in short term or temporary dynamics/people anymore.

 

And if it never comes...well…

 

Then I suppose my ship has sailed and my leathers will sail with it.

 

But until that day comes, I am still seeking my ship's harbor. I hope she's out there. 

 

To all of you on either side of the slash searching for your happy ending, hold fast, brace for waves, and sail onward to the shores.

[Deleted Member]

😢 Soooo True!! Chin up and one foot in front of the other! Spread happiness to others while you search and always be your true yourself.

[Deleted Member]

2 minutes ago, Littlesandy said:

😢 Soooo True!! Chin up and one foot in front of the other! Spread happiness to others while you search and always be your true yourself.

Hear hear. I find being of service to my community of equal value.

[Deleted Member]

Patience is a dying art, and something many don't really understand, or even want to understand. It empowers and gives strength to the individual if one can master its nuances, as frustrating as that can be.  Within patience lives hope of unknown possibilities that another day can bring, an acceptance that within one moment, everything can change, but also an acceptance that to walk alone is better than to walk into something that doesn't bring true happiness. Peace can be found with patience, but the eyes must always remain open, the ears always listening, for the connection that can suddenly appear, sometimes from the most unexpected of places 😊 

[Leisa]

Sunday at 09:20 PM, DonnyPrimal said:

Patience is a dying art, and something many don't really understand, or even want to understand. It empowers and gives strength to the individual if one can master its nuances, as frustrating as that can be.  Within patience lives hope of unknown possibilities that another day can bring, an acceptance that within one moment, everything can change, but also an acceptance that to walk alone is better than to walk into something that doesn't bring true happiness. Peace can be found with patience, but the eyes must always remain open, the ears always listening, for the connection that can suddenly appear, sometimes from the most unexpected of places 😊 

Well spoken my friend. You both will find what you are looking for. FTM you’re in the right community.