So you want to start a D/s journey

[lolli-leigh]

My brain has been ticking as it often does lol . Please take this as my view point and my own experiences . we are all different after all.

I am often told, we have an amazing dynamic (I prefer relationship ) and others want to have what we have . What I would suggest is ask yourselves are you ready for that . It is a hard and continuous emotional journey.

Often all people see ,is the shiny world of BDSM D/s ,the pleasure and delight of the dynamic,the beautiful dance between the D/s .What is often missed or ignored is ,work that goes into the continued journey and ,the mental ,physical and emotional *** that is endured at times.

imo the best dynamics ,create growth and change,which is not a pretty or easy thing to do . It should help you overcome challenges in your life ,develop your own awareness of self and take you to a better place than where you were when you began your dynamic .

These are not easy things to work on, they create your awareness of your triggers ,bring back memories of hurt ,trauma and ***. You will cry and ,feel like running away at times .

Please note I did not define roles to who would do the ,growth and change,who would go through this ,as imo it is both . What I would say though , dynamics come to an end because of growth and change ,be prepared to let go of those who don't help you grow or leave those who are happy in where they are in life . We all have our journey and some are at different stages .

So I ask you to consider again ,are you ready for that journey.

[Deleted Member]

Very beautifully written and so true...its incredibly difficult when dynamics have to come to an end, there's such a strong connection but when it can't grow or change for the better, it's a necessary evil if it doesn't bring happiness anymore!

[DemonCandy]

I love this. I always feel thrilled thinking about the psychological extravaganza that goes on in everything and everyone behind the scenes. I want a dominant who understands these things without having to tell them, has that silent understanding.

[lolli-leigh]

5 hours ago, Tonguetease said:

Very beautifully written and so true...its incredibly difficult when dynamics have to come to an end, there's such a strong connection but when it can't grow or change for the better, it's a necessary evil if it doesn't bring happiness anymore!

Thank you 😁

[lolli-leigh]

3 hours ago, DemonCandy said:

I love this. I always feel thrilled thinking about the psychological extravaganza that goes on in everything and everyone behind the scenes. I want a dominant who understands these things without having to tell them, has that silent understanding.

Thank you x No Dominant ,knows everything, communication is key in any relationship . However I agree to hold out for those ones that silently know their Dominance and don't need to boast about it ,as it is truely beautiful.

[ey****]

absolutely

a lot of people see the "after" and want it - but unwilling to do the work to get there :/ 

[Wi****]

We live in a world where survival has become so easy our bodies have turned to seeking comfort even at the cost of our health and often achievement. When we have to do something we know will not be comfortable, that will be hard, that will hurt, our bodies reaction is to recoil and resist. It wants you to stay comfortable.
You don't get stronger or achieve anything staying comfortable.

[Essential]

Hey - new to the space. I’m glad I came across this thread (no pun intended). This post is a nice self assessment reminder. I’m real big on communication and comprehension so I really like the way you phrased your thoughts.

[Lost-Girl]

I am new to the BDSM world, I've always been kinky and most relationships dont please or push me as much as I know they could. I can be dominant but have recently started letting people become dominant over me and I have to say I absolutely love it! I'm definitely a bratt and have yet to be tamed into complete submission but I want to get there. The thing im struggling with is navagating that into a relationship. I don't just want a play partner I want to find someone I can settle with but still have that amazing sexual side. Can it be done?

[lolli-leigh]

1 hour ago, Essential said:

Hey - new to the space. I’m glad I came across this thread (no pun intended). This post is a nice self assessment reminder. I’m real big on communication and comprehension so I really like the way you phrased your thoughts.

Thank you ,I love when my post help others 😀

[lolli-leigh]

35 minutes ago, Lost-Girl said:

I am new to the BDSM world, I've always been kinky and most relationships dont please or push me as much as I know they could. I can be dominant but have recently started letting people become dominant over me and I have to say I absolutely love it! I'm definitely a bratt and have yet to be tamed into complete submission but I want to get there. The thing im struggling with is navagating that into a relationship. I don't just want a play partner I want to find someone I can settle with but still have that amazing sexual side. Can it be done?

Thank you for sharing x It absolutely can be done.However if you are inherently a Brat sub ,you need to find someone who is happy for you to embrace your brat side . I dislike the term tame , I don't need taming ,I need someone to accept that part off me (which i have ) and support me to handle my brat ,when needed x Be you and the right person will come along x

[Lost-Girl]

3 hours ago, lolli-leigh said:

Thank you for sharing x It absolutely can be done.However if you are inherently a Brat sub ,you need to find someone who is happy for you to embrace your brat side . I dislike the term tame , I don't need taming ,I need someone to accept that part off me (which i have ) and support me to handle my brat ,when needed x Be you and the right person will come along x

Thank you for your help! You're right I don't think I want to be tamed! There's a difference in taming to being able to reign me in with I need to be :)

[lolli-leigh]

14 minutes ago, Lost-Girl said:

Thank you for your help! You're right I don't think I want to be tamed! There's a difference in taming to being able to reign me in with I need to be :)

You welcome x there was a post on my profile about brat play X feel free to have a look

[RainbowTea]

I agree. Most people come to the bdsm community because they assume kink = easy sex or something shiny and fun. And yes, that exists, but so many are in for a rude awakening if they think that's all it is. People need to take the time to get serious and really think about why you're here and what you really want out of this, and what work you're willing to put into it.

[Redbottom***]

A really great topic, I was lucky enough to have a mentor when I started my journey. An experienced sub, while not same type, her advice and guidance was invaluable to the emotional journey. I am no where near an expert but I have replicated this support with others as newbies
I really want to create a mentor community for both new subs and doms to match with experienced ones to support journeys

[Deleted Member]

It's a good Topic because everybody has an Idea about bdsm but sometimes is a wrong idea. In my opnion the First thing to do is search information. About everything. Then search people to talk about It. Specially persons who are in bdsm or in a D/s relationship. Don't let any doubts in your mind before start something real.