7 Benefits of Mindful Masturbation: Learn How to Touch Yourself in a New Way

Masturbation doesn’t have to be repetitive. Combining meditation and tantric touch into your self-pleasure sessions can wake up your wanking. So, from reducing anxiety to discovering new erogenous zones, Alex Hopkins outlines seven benefits of mindful masturbation.

 

So many of us do it – and so many of us love it! But as with any other pleasures in life, masturbation can become excessive and just another means of getting that dopamine and endorphin rush as quickly as possible. 

 

 

However, the growing trend for mindful masturbation offers both penis-havers and people with vulvas a chance to change this and invite mindfulness into their bed – and thereby revolutionize their attitudes to intimacy and kinks.

 

So, what exactly is mindful masturbation?

Mindful masturbation, also called masturbation meditation or tantric masturbation, centres on carefully exploring the pleasures in your body as you touch yourself.

Firstly, it’s all about going slow; being sensual and intentional. Being fully present in the moment and fostering curiosity about whatever feelings – physical and psychological – come up.

One essential thing about masturbation meditation is that your only stimulation is through touching yourself. So, no porn or sex toys. Why? Because, crucially, having an orgasm isn’t the goal when it comes to mindful masturbation. 

Yes, kinksters, you heard that correctly! Instead, the focus of tantric masturbation is on patiently, consistently and compassionately grounding yourself in your body. Happily, this can reap great benefits.

 

 

Masturbating mindfully: 7 benefits

But why should you care? Why not simply ‘bash one out’ and continue with your life? Well, let’s reveal the good stuff. 

 

1. Reduce stress, anxiety and depression

The core aim of mindfulness is self-care through slowing down and observation. In fact, research shows that habitual meditation can have lasting, positive changes in our brains.

Masturbation meditation takes this to another level. In the words of clinical psychologist Janet Britto to Mashable, “a curious, non-judgmental” approach to masturbation gives “you permission to be in your body and experience pleasure.”

This helps with mental health, reducing both anxiety and tension. And that can improve everything, from your sleep to your immune system.

Mindful masturbation: it's all about taking your time

 

2. No expectations or goals

‘Oh, God, when am I going to cum?’ 

Unless you’re in the middle of an edging session, the thought often circles tauntingly as we frantically wank away. And this, in turn, infuriatingly, usually makes that orgasm even more elusive. 

But imagine how you’d feel if this expectation to cum didn’t exist. Picture the liberation of ripping up that rule book.

Dropping the pressure of orgasming in mindful masturbation lets you discover what pleasure means to you. And this can heighten arousal. So, when that orgasm does arrive, it’s often more earth-shattering than usual.

 

3. Discovering surprising new sensations 

Many of us masturbate on autopilot. It often becomes a habit focused less on pleasure and more as a form of stress-relief. Often masturbating becomes something to get over and done with as quickly as possible using the same, tired tricks.  
 

With masturbation meditation, you tune into your entire body, not only your genitals. You delve into different erogenous zones, but you also linger in typically non-sexual areas, all the way from your head to your toes (great if you also have a foot fetish!). 

During tantric masturbation, you surrender to the present, experimenting with touch and intensity. And this means you can potentially shape a brave new world of surprising sensations.

 

4. Confronting difficult emotions

Thanks in no small part to religion, many of us have been taught that sexual pleasure is shameful. According to the stats, it’s estimated that 90% of penis-havers wank. But people with vulvas often remain embarrassed about masturbating.

 

“Mindful masturbation, also called masturbation meditation or tantric masturbation, centres on carefully exploring the pleasures in your body as you touch yourself.”

Mindful masturbation challenges deeply ingrained feelings. You can start by internalizing positive affirmations like ‘my body, my well-being’ or ‘I’m capable of giving myself pleasure’.

Meditation helps empty out your thoughts and silences the shame. Focus on the feelings you evoke while stroking your body lovingly and patiently – embrace both the negative and positive feelings. And hopefully, after some time, the positive feelings will overrule. 

 

5. Tackling sexual performance anxiety

Sexually, we tend to rate ourselves mercilessly. Are we being inventive enough in the sack? How well do we measure up against the hottest porn stars?

This can lead to loss in libido and body image issues. For penis-havers, this could even manifest itself as erectile dysfunction or premature ejaculation: they often fall into obsessing about their erection. Similarly, people with vulvas may feel failures if they don’t have an orgasm or squirt. 

 

Start your mindful masturbation sesh with lots of touching, and perhaps a soothing shower

 

But with its emphasis placed firmly on sensations, mindful masturbation diminishes distracting thoughts that dominate our desires. It shifts us from our heads back onto our body.
 

6. Kickstarting a kinktastic odyssey

As you work out what you enjoy through tantric masturbation, all manner of bodily delights emerge. You break boundaries. Consequently, masturbating in a mindful manner can be a great gateway to kink play. 
 

Writing for Mashable, Jess Joho points to the similarities between BDSM and masturbation meditation. She suggests that the changed state in our minds found through mindfulness is not unlike Dom or subspace.

“Pain really centres your attention on the present moment. It demands intense focus upon an intense sensation,” explains Ph.D candidate, Cara Dunkley, in the same article. This can cause “a more spiritual, heady, altered state of consciousness.” Amen to that.

 

7. A new attitude to intimacy

Ultimately, flying solo with mindful masturbation means learning about your mind and body on a significantly deeper level. 

You relax. Your confidence grows. Your shame fades. And then, when you’re ready, you can then better communicate your most intimate wants and needs to your partner.

 

MORE LIKE THIS: 

• How to Have Multiple Orgasms: 5 Tips for Women
• Why Mutual Masturbation is Kinkier Than You Think
• Exploring Anal Masturbation, Fingering, and Anal Orgasm

 

How to practise masturbation meditation

So, now you know the benefits of masturbation meditation, how do you practise it? Here are four tips on how to touch yourself more mindfully when you want to get off with some solo action.
 

Chill ‘n’ vibe

No one wants to be unceremoniously interpreted when they’re in full flow playing with themselves. And this is especially important with mindful masturbation.

That’s because it’s all about basking in self-love. So, find a quiet, safe space. Schedule time: never rush. You’ll need at least 30 minutes and as many as an hour or more! Your whole body must be fully relaxed. Initially aim for two sessions of tantric touching a week and build up from there.

Get yourself into the vibe with a shower, and maybe some candles and chill music. Remove all distractions. And yes, absolutely, no porn! Either sit or lie down as you wish. Comfort is key. 

 

Breath and body scan

As you would with normal meditation practice, start mindful masturbation with a five-minute breathing exercise. Deep breaths in and out. 

Sufficiently calm? Now try a full meditation body scan. Start from your head, noting all the sensations you can feel in your cheeks, jaw, eyes and ears.

Gradually work your way down your body, through your chest to your toes. Narrow in on every part, however small. Whenever tension arises, breathe into it. This should take around 10 minutes.
 

Tweaking, tickling and touching

Hopefully you may well now feel relaxed (or even slightly aroused). Stay with it. Begin to think about your hottest fetishes and fantasies; perhaps some you’ve never tried, or thinking about people you’d love to try some kink with. Try tweaking your nipples or even tickling yourself – all over.

 

“During tantric masturbation, you surrender to the present, experimenting with touch and intensity. And this means you can potentially shape a brave new world of surprising sensations.”

Next, begin touching your genitals. Penis-havers, play with your balls and prostate, or tease the head of your cock. Those with vulvas can rub their clit, gently down one side or directly on top.

Then use longer strokes. But, pace yourself. Penis-havers can move more unhurriedly up and down the shaft. Light glides in the middle for those with vulvas. Note how the delicious sexual energy flows, settles and swells. Take as long as you need.
 

Up the ante: gradually

Mix things up for the next 10 to 20 minutes. Forget old habits. Set yourself free! Alternate slow strokes with faster ones. Vary pressure. Try using your non-dominant hand. Deploy multiple fingers. Consider using lube.

You can edge yourself to the point of climax, but remember, you’re not necessarily aiming for an orgasm at the end of your mindful masturbation sesh. So, don’t focus solely on your penis or vulva. 

Indeed, everywhere from your armpits, to your forearms to your calves are ripe for exploration. Investigate how to touch your body in a curious way. Be intrigued. Take note of any positive sensations you discover in areas other than your genitals. And when your mind drifts, refocus it on the present by returning to the breath and touch.
 

The final FET: mindful masturbation

From reduced stress to super-charged kinks, mindful masturbation can transform your relationship with yourself and your lovers. So, breathe into it, touch away, and stay fascinated by the miracle that’s the human body. •

Alex Hopkins, a journalist and copywriter, has written on everything from LGBT arts and culture to sex and relationships, lifestyle, theatre, and civilian harm. His fiction has appeared in the anthologies Men and Women (Glasshouse Books) and Mainstream (Inkandescent). He's currently working on his first novel and is sustained by a love of hash browns and an unswerving belief that Glenn Close will eventually win an Oscar.

 

 

Have you tried masturbation meditation? How did you get into the mood? Share your tips below or with fellow kinksters in our Fetish.com Forum...

 

Images: Shutterstock/Olga Savina; shutterstock/fizkes