Domination..why not for me

[Saucy1963]

I do not have an assertive nature, totally unassertive I would say. I have very low self esteem, zero confidence, overweight and yes, A bit of a loser. Here is the thing, I love the thought of a sexily clad woman tying me up, abusing me, spanking, tying things to my man bits but I would never let her dominate me to the levels they want. Absolute obedience and all that stuff. What am I missing?? Why would I not get into that the whole way?? Some insight would be greatly appreciated thank you .

[Yo****]

Maybe you like the aspects that play into how you feel about yourself inside but acting out obedience is too much like admitting defeat? I'm only saying this as someone who has always been VERY sub, didn't mind being obedient (with a bit of sass) and has always thought very little of myself. But at this point in my life I've developed some confidence and for some reason that is translating into a lot of signaling that apparently brings sub men into my inbox 😅. I'm not saying anyone's naturally dominant or submissive because of gender or societal roles, but I wonder if maybe the aspects you are or aren't willing or comfortable exploring, or that are just not right for you, play more into your internal struggle.
I apologize in advance if this sounds like armchair psychology. I do have a tendency to tie a lot of things to my internal workings and if that makes anybody uncomfortable or triggers anything in them, I do apologize again.

[Yo****]

Also in rereading my response I just want to make sure I highlight that I don't think there is anything wrong with wanting to practice your kink a specific way. I end up seeing mine as an extension of myself in a lot of ways I think and that is not for everyone. ❤️

[ey****]

you're not missing anything

basically, the word to describe you - and I mean none of this with any shade - could be masochist (by the traditional sense), bottom, fetishisits, kinkster, fantasist, etc

all of which is fair

So, yeah you have fantasies, which you would presumably act out if given the choice, which may have you in an assumed submissive position, but isn't submission.  That's fine.  Honestly, an awful lot of people are the same. 

[vo****]

You do you. Communicate your boundaries and stick to them for as long as you choose. You are not broken. We are all just pieces. There is someone for everyone.
I am the exact opposite of you, I like to deliver the spanking games but don’t go in for all the obedience stuff with ladies. I like them simply choosing me on occasion.

[Saucy1963]

2 hours ago, eyemblacksheep said:

you're not missing anything

basically, the word to describe you - and I mean none of this with any shade - could be masochist (by the traditional sense), bottom, fetishisits, kinkster, fantasist, etc

all of which is fair

So, yeah you have fantasies, which you would presumably act out if given the choice, which may have you in an assumed submissive position, but isn't submission.  That's fine.  Honestly, an awful lot of people are the same. 

Thank you, that makes a lot of sense. Probably been looking in the wrong area. I need to find the right person to act out my specific fantasy 😁

[ey****]

mind, as a side note

when it becomes about your own fantasies *which is fine* approaching people in a "these are my fantasies, would you do them with me" kinda way often makes the person feel you care more about the fantasy than the person

if you want to act out fantasies, sometimes, the best option is just to pay a pro 

[jj****]

You’re allowed to like what you like. As long as you’re not hurting anyone or risking your long term health, it’s all good.

[Sq****]

Because it's entirely preferences. You do what you want with this, within your capacity as long as you respect and communicate with those involved. There is no set standard, just guidelines.

[Da****]

Honey you seem like the type who need a dom to tell you what she needs(not offering im sub as shit) but one of the ladies that bought a corset that sorts several hundred.