Salacious67 Posted 14 hours ago I’ve been particularly deaf in my leaf ear since being a child, however this has got worse with age and I struggle with in noisy environments making it difficult to socialise and find a potential Mistress. However, I can hear perfectly well when in less noisy environments when not around noisy groups and can hold a conversation. Obviously this makes it very difficult for my to intergrate at munches and events affecting my confidence, yet at the same time I’m a sociable person and do enjoy chatting face to face rather than using apps and messaging platforms which feel distant and awkward as obviously there’s no better way to make friends and connect with possible partners than with friendly chat to face to face to feel true connection through energy, emotion and body language to make true connections and friendships. Conundrum…how do I overcome this problem or find more suitable environment to find someone and meet friends? Has everyone had similar issues? …note have tried hearing aids and they don’t work for me.
Co**** Posted 12 hours ago I think you already answered yourself☺️ try out a new form of dating! Two people, sitting together trying to talk as little as possible. Communication does nit need sound basically.... energy, emotion and body language are most of it.
Salacious67 Posted 12 hours ago Author Yes, that’s true we should listen to more, be in the moment and use the energy and emotion
ar**** Posted 12 hours ago Crowds aren't my thing, I tend to use apps to find women that are interesting to me, and our first meets are about taking a walk. Radical honesty and directness is a big thing; you can communicate your needs and intents, and they will know that you're not performing with them, but actually looking for a quiet spot to actually hear what they have to say. That's much more personal and intimate than masking in a crowd IMO! 🙏
Salacious67 Posted 12 hours ago Author Agree, it’s probably the best way given noisy crowds aren’t my thing. I do find apps difficult and sometimes things can get missed within the messaging without body language to support the messages and it can be difficult to strike up conversations and understandably so with the number of messages women get and *** that they receive or fake accounts. I always message with politeness and honesty, I never wade in with sexual content in a first message as respect as wanting to get to know the person first if important and you wouldn’t walk up to someone in public and come straight out with sexual content…I suppose it a matter of how you gain that trust and obviously I don’t want to come across as boring either.
Bi**** Posted 10 hours ago Oh I feel ur *** being in the same situation. Back ground noise is a real challenge for me and constantly worry about appearing rude when I need someone to repeat themselves. Having grown up with deaf grandparents I like to think I’m more aware than most in how I behave. Speaking clearly, not loudly. Looking at someone when i speak so they can read my face and lips. Not covering my mouth, not shouting at them like they are stupid. There really is only so much you can do within your limitations. Using apps and chats where you are comfortable. Also being up front about your hearing and letting them know explicitly how they need to interact with u in person. As well as managing what environments you have a social or a meet in. If possible having someone with you that knows ur challenges and can help u make out conversations is good. Saying all that though, if u put these tools in place and someone isn’t mindful or respectful of them, then that person isn’t a safe person for u to play with xx
Salacious67 Posted 10 hours ago Author That’s so true, I didn’t realise I was inadvertently lip reading until a few years back after having a hearing test they said I was lip reading and O always have to turn to face the person. I try to let people know nowadays about being partially deaf when first meeting as I’ve been in that situation where people thing your being ignorant or in that position of feeling embarrassed and having to repeatedly ask questions or even just nod hoping for the best. Your, right if people don’t respect that then they’re not worth the energy and certainty nor safe.
Bi**** Posted 10 hours ago Don’t get me wrong. Even those with the best intentions don’t always remember. However, when u see them noticing and responding in the way u need them to, that’s what makes the difference. My own experience of living with a hearing disability as well as being neurodivergent shows that people don’t generally understand unless they have experienced these situations for themselves. It’s just simply human nature. U will find ur people and when u do u will have so much fun and support x
Salacious67 Posted 9 hours ago Author I always feel more comfortable around neurodivergent people. I’ve not been diagnosed as neurodivergent, however friends have suggested maybe I have element, but I’ve also wondered whether my deafness plays into that area of being more comfortable and accepted around neurodivergent people.
Re**** Posted 8 hours ago Have you looked in to an auditory processing disorder? I’m deaf in my left, and have partial loss in my right. I’m also neurodivergent. I wear hearing aids but still struggle due to auditory processing disorder.
ey**** Posted 7 hours ago from a munch perspective, it might be worth reaching out to munch hosts and/or looking at smaller events. I guess for example, how you adjust (or need adjustments) for other social situaitons, work place, etc. equally asking for support with medical professionals might help find things which work for you
Salacious67 Posted 7 hours ago Author 27 minutes ago, RednRowdy said: Have you looked in to an auditory processing disorder? I’m deaf in my left, and have partial loss in my right. I’m also neurodivergent. I wear hearing aids but still struggle due to auditory processing disorder. Thanks, interesting thought worth investing..I’ve have about 3% hearing in my left ear since a child as the nerves in my cochlear where damaged due to Mumps..but worth looking into
Salacious67 Posted 7 hours ago Author 10 minutes ago, eyemblacksheep said: from a munch perspective, it might be worth reaching out to munch hosts and/or looking at smaller events. I guess for example, how you adjust (or need adjustments) for other social situaitons, work place, etc. equally asking for support with medical professionals might help find things which work for you Thanks, yes it may be worth giving the munches a go again and mentioning it to the organisers
ey**** Posted 7 hours ago 25 minutes ago, Salacious67 said: Thanks, yes it may be worth giving the munches a go again and mentioning it to the organisers like, hypothetically our munch - I'm not sure what adjustments we could make - but even if it was saving a specific seating spot so you have better line of sight and so your stronger ear is closer to conversation is not an unreasonable request
vi**** Posted 2 hours ago Myself is deaf too. I do struggle with everything you’re saying. I can hear with and without my hearing aids. Without them is a bit more of a struggle though. I do prefer mostly a quiet environment. I don’t like loud noise and crowds. Do you sign language by chance?
Salacious67 Posted 2 hours ago Author 15 minutes ago, vigorousfrog586 said: Myself is deaf too. I do struggle with everything you’re saying. I can hear with and without my hearing aids. Without them is a bit more of a struggle though. I do prefer mostly a quiet environment. I don’t like loud noise and crowds. Do you sign language by chance? No I don’t sing language, but something I’ve thought about in case I ever start to have problems with my right ear
sardonicus87 Posted 1 hour ago If you find the solution, let me know. I'm not deaf, I have the opposite problem, sensory gating issues. There's literally nothing any group could do to make accommodations for that. So any group setting, I look tired (because I am) and come off as cold or standoffish because I can't hear someone talking at me over all the other noise. I literally cannot tune out the background, "tune-it-out" circuit irreparably broken. And the answer is always "online sucks, go to munches", but noe there's not even a munch anymore where I am so, fn SOL over here.
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