Value check: How are premium members navigating the current message filters?

[ey****]

7 hours ago, sardonicus87 said:

As a side note, it's apparent that they need to make some of this stuff more clear. Because there's other users who apparently have no clue there's automatic filters applied they might not want. I wonder how many quit because they aren't getting messages and it's because there's some default message filter set that they don't realize is there?

Agreed.  This auto filter didn't used to exist, and does now.  And while I understand the reason for it - folk need to know it's there so they know how to amend it should they wish.

I know a complaint someone had is they were like 50 or something and were replying to ladies who literally had in their profiles they were looking for someone older, but the auto filters were set.

7 hours ago, sardonicus87 said:

And that should also be changed, premium or not, sending a gift shouldn't even be possible if you don't pass their filters for messaging in the first place. If someone doesn't want messages from filtered people, they probably don't want gifts from them either.

and absolutely. I've grumbled on this before

like although it's not real cash - like - that someone can bypass filters may well have the person on the other end feel "what's the point in setting filters if they can be bypassed" and it is very easy to build points for gifts without spending.   

[sardonicus87]

1 hour ago, eyemblacksheep said:

and absolutely. I've grumbled on this before

like although it's not real cash - like - that someone can bypass filters may well have the person on the other end feel "what's the point in setting filters if they can be bypassed" and it is very easy to build points for gifts without spending.   

Yeah, that's my issue with it, not that it costs points to do, but the idea of "what's the point of filters if they can just be bypassed". That's my exact complaint.

Even look at the confusion here, OP was under the impression that gifting did not override message filters and that gifting in order to message was a separate thing. Hell, I thought so too prior to this thread (though it wasn't relevant to me anyway, I won't send a gift just to message despite having plenty of points, partly because there's nobody I'd be interested in messaging in the first place, but that's a whole different matter).

But it does make me wonder about auto filters. There was a local lady to me that had kept viewing my profile. I don't know if it was to try to get my attention to get me to message her, but I couldn't message because of her filters and now I wonder if she had auto filters without realizing and thought I was just ignoring her? Then again, if someone is interested and can't be an adult and just say that, I'm not interested anyway, so also irrelevant to me but I could see that being a problem for others, there's definitely plenty of women who absolutely refuse to initiate.

[sw****]

11 hours ago, Brea1608 said:

Please tell the technical support team that then. 🤣 Because as you can see above in the copy/pasted email they sent me, they say otherwise. 🤷‍♀️ And my crushes are under crushes. Not spanks. I don't even use the spank feature. Ever. I'm talking about the actual category that says crushes. I don't pay for this app either. Every once in a while Ill use my points for like a 14 day membership or something. But I would never spend my own *** on it.

I think you're misinterpreting it. Like I said, the mutual crush is still called a crush, it just has the extra purple label. The spanks you receive are also called crushes before they're mutual. I think the support team is referring to the former.

[Ka****]

15 hours ago, Brea1608 said:

This is copy and pasted from an email the support team sent me a week ago. Lol

"Hey Brea1608, totally get why that feels awkward — nobody wants to hand out “false hope.” 💜

On FET, a Crush only happens when it’s mutual:

they Spank you + you Spank them back (that Spank can be a swipe right, but it can also happen in other places).

Why you might be getting Crushes even if you “never swipe right”
A Spank can be sent in a few ways, not just swiping:
- Tapping the Spank icon (raised hand) on someone’s profile
- Using Search → Spanks and then swiping right or tapping the Spank there
- Accidental taps/swipes (it’s surprisingly easy on mobile)
- Less common, but important: someone else accessing your account on another device/browser

How to stop it from happening
Try these quick checks:
1. Avoid the Spanks screen for a bit: Go to Search → Spanks and make sure you’re not swiping there by habit.
2. Be careful on profiles: If you’re scrolling, keep an eye out for the Spank icon so it doesn’t get tapped accidentally.
3. Secure your account (just in case):
- Change your password
- Log out of FET on any devices you don’t use anymore (and log back in only on your own)
- If you reuse passwords elsewhere, make this one unique

Quick reality check
If you open one of those “Crushes,” it should show who it is — and that means at some point a Spank was sent from your account (even if it was accidental).

If you tell me whether you’re using the app or web, I can point you to the exact spot where Spanks are most commonly sent by accident.

Keep it kinky 😈

Your FET Team"

Yes! There are so many weird things here. I kept getting messages from people saying that I should at least say hi if I was going to few their profile. I would reply that I hadn’t visited and they would say I did according to Fet. Some would be belligerent. I actually opened a ticket about it. I guess there is a glitch that if you even swipe left on a person that it sends them a “visited” notifications. So I’ve stopped even browsing at fellow kinksters. You can try it out.. go into the search.. spanking area.. hit x a few times quickly. Then pause on a person for like 10 seconds, then X them and continue X-ing quickly.. within moment the person you paused on will be viewing you.. because it sent them a “visited” notifications.

[Br****]

7 minutes ago, Katlynn6612 said:

Yes! There are so many weird things here. I kept getting messages from people saying that I should at least say hi if I was going to few their profile. I would reply that I hadn’t visited and they would say I did according to Fet. Some would be belligerent. I actually opened a ticket about it. I guess there is a glitch that if you even swipe left on a person that it sends them a “visited” notifications. So I’ve stopped even browsing at fellow kinksters. You can try it out.. go into the search.. spanking area.. hit x a few times quickly. Then pause on a person for like 10 seconds, then X them and continue X-ing quickly.. within moment the person you paused on will be viewing you.. because it sent them a “visited” notifications.

I noticed that too! I just feel awful when it says we've CLEARLY matched with each other via mutual spank, and we haven't. Getting people's hopes up is just freaking mean. 😞 But I did notice last year when I was actually looking through swipe feature that all the sudden tons of people were coming to look at my profile. 🤦‍♀️

[Br****]

1 hour ago, sweetNsubby said:

I think you're misinterpreting it. Like I said, the mutual crush is still called a crush, it just has the extra purple label. The spanks you receive are also called crushes before they're mutual. I think the support team is referring to the former.

I talked with them back and forth extensively and sent them several screenshots of exactly what I was experiencing. I didn't misinterpret them. They're looking into it because they don't understand it either. I'm wondering if maybe you get on through the Web and not through the app? Because they look completely different and even labeled differently in some places. So maybe that's where we're miscommunicating. If not, we'll have to agree to disagree. Lol

[Laycette]

This site seems to be made from code not written by the site builders / owners, perhaps by AI. There are many bizarre rules, filters, bugs, crazy ott cencorship, and other stupid policies that are coming from super woke, socialist intentions but in practice makes a terrible user experience. Summary deletions, warnings and point system for infractions such as posting a URL. A reply to a political post, for being political...Never have I seen such heavyhanded and hamfisted control on a website.

[Starian62]

35 minutes ago, Laycette said:

This site seems to be made from code not written by the site builders / owners, perhaps by AI. There are many bizarre rules, filters, bugs, crazy ott cencorship, and other stupid policies that are coming from super woke, socialist intentions but in practice makes a terrible user experience. Summary deletions, warnings and point system for infractions such as posting a URL. A reply to a political post, for being political...Never have I seen such heavyhanded and hamfisted control on a website.

I suspect you might be on the correct track. The new site is exceptionally "Hamfisted",  lacks focus and seems to be pointed towards m o n e y making. A year ago this site was fantastic and worth investing in, but not now. Could the site OWNERS comment on their direction they are taking site. I suspect that it is not in our interest, but theirs and only theirs. There has been a MASSIVE change in direction in the past year. I have trusted this site in the past but that has been destroyed in the past few months.  It would be brilliant if that trust could be restored, filters removed and censorship dialled back on. Guys, this is a fetish site FFS, everyone "should" be over 18 to be on the site. To keep going the way you are, you might need to change  the site name to "A waste of m o n e y pretend site" 

Don't get me completely wrong. I have GREAT respect for a lot of the members here, but do not know a lot about the staff (Moderators). I feel that we are not being told the full story.

 

[ey****]

14 hours ago, Laycette said:

This site seems to be made from code not written by the site builders / owners, perhaps by AI.

this, particularly on the new site, would not surprise me.    There have been use of AI in a lot of the graphics for quite some time - so it would bring no real surprise if the devs had switched to "vibe coding" with all the issues that brings.  They have also in the past previously cheaped on QA and that brought a load of issues.  I would half suspect they are trying to attract bugs and feedback from the users from the new site

 

 

[ey****]

13 hours ago, Starian62 said:

Don't get me completely wrong. I have GREAT respect for a lot of the members here, but do not know a lot about the staff (Moderators). I feel that we are not being told the full story.

There is an old post below which kinda gives an overview : but it is pretty out of date, I know for example Annalou has left.

It does feel like there should have been more push on a "meet the team" or at least for the top of the tree, like for example on Fetlife there is a "meet the team" tab.  NathalieG, Brazuca and PurplePie are all connected to the site which we know from occasional threads they start or comment on,  All of which seem to still use the site, just not every day.

The actual fetmods are intentionally anonymous.  This is because they work on a voluntary basis and often also have a personal account.  I have said in the past, and still stand by this, that I feel they should be paid positions.  Even if just to offer further support for volunteers.