Value check: How are premium members navigating the current message filters?

[No****]

I want to ask the community for some advice regarding the current communication setup. As a monthly subscriber, I’m finding that strict message filters mean I still need to use extra platform currency/points just to get a message through to female users. Since free accounts face the exact same barrier, it feels like the subscription advantage is being neutralized by these filters. For those who have been here a while, how are you handling this? Is there a specific way to utilize a premium account effectively without having to constantly buy extra points just to bypass a filter?

[Br****]

I'm really confused by this. I get messages from whoever wants to message me. Regardless of my filter set up.

[ge****]

Do you mean where you have to send a gift or similar to send a message OP? If so that won't be the site filters but individual ones set by the user

[Deleted Member]

I agree don't see the point in subscribing if they just want you to pay extra

[metronome]

Yes, as a newcomer, I find it totally confusing.

[No****]

You still need points to contact many people and points don't guarantee delivery, reading, or response.

[No****]

The real question is not whether the message was delivered. The real question is whether the subscriber already paid for the privilege of trying.

[Ca****]

The filters are set by the person you’re trying to contact…. Means there’s something in your details (age etc). It’s not the app rules or system…. It’s the person being able to decide who can/can’t contact them…. And it may be a ***, but i think people haven’t right…

[Ca****]

Have THE right *

[No****]

I agree people should be able to set their own filters. My point isn't about their right to do that. My point is whether Premium members should have to spend additional points on top of a subscription just to attempt contact, especially when there's no guarantee of delivery, reading, or response.

[Ca****]

Honestly…. It shouldn’t let you do that… person doesn’t want you to contact them, but you get to try anyway…. It should cost you points… they don’t want to talk to you…. So maybe you should just not bother?

[No****]

I'm not arguing that I should be able to bypass someone's filters. I'm questioning why the platform sells me the opportunity to try when the filter has already decided the outcome. If the answer is already "no", why am I being charged to find that out?

[Ca****]

It’s a shot to catch thief attention…. Give them a chance to say “Hmm, maybe I make an exception.” If you don’t like it, don’t spend the points on it…. But honestly o find it ridiculously stupid that you’re crying about this…

[PL****]

7 minutes ago, Carnal_Jedeye said:

It’s a shot to catch thief attention…. Give them a chance to say “Hmm, maybe I make an exception.” If you don’t like it, don’t spend the points on it…. But honestly o find it ridiculously stupid that you’re crying about this…

I 💯 agree. I have the right to not receive 100 messages a day. Filters help that. I get to decide what I prefer, certain parameters for who I wish to speak with. I generally do not give a shot to someone who sends me a paid for sticker, either because they do not fit my preferences. Why should I have to take and weed through tons of unwanted advances. Just as the OP and all others shouldn't have to either.

[Be****]

Been here 2 years now and have actually met people from this app. I just assume another user set their filters for a reason, and if we get one it's a pretty clear hint we don't meet the specifics they're looking for.

[Mr****]

If filters are on I usually just pass on by. They are there for a reason. If im really interested, I would leave a comment on one of their photos… although I’ve never had anyone respond from a photo comment.

Interested to hear the female perspective on this. Have you messaged anyone who is outwith your filter range from a comment left on a photo.

[PL****]

2 minutes ago, Mr_Starsky said:

If filters are on I usually just pass on by. They are there for a reason. If im really interested, I would leave a comment on one of their photos… although I’ve never had anyone respond from a photo comment.

Interested to hear the female perspective on this. Have you messaged anyone who is outwith your filter range from a comment left on a photo.

I have not, because they didn't fit my preferences other than to say ty on the photo if it was a compliment.

[Th****]

Accept the filters, there's something about you that they don't gel with. Look at them as a positive.

[ey****]

it feels a bit of a non-story

like "people have set a boundary, how can I break their boundary" 

not the flex you think it is

if you're outside their filters, they're not the person for you

[sardonicus87]

You guys are seriously not listening to the OP. They aren't talking about bypassing age and other filters.

Sometimes when a user is new, you might pass their filters, but are still required to send them a gift or something before messaging (not sure what filter that is, or if women have more options, only filter I see relevant to that is "premium users only", because I don't see a message filter option that requires a gift first).

I don't know how many times the OP has to reiterate what they're talking about before you guys stop hammering on the one thing they've explicitly stated they aren't talking about.

[ey****]

yes that's right - if you don't subscribe you cannot message new people for a certain amount of time.   However, if you do subscribe (as the OP does) you can, providing they don't have other filters set. 

[No****]

To be clear, I'm not asking how to bypass filters.
I'm questioning a system where:
The points are real.
The cost is real.
The profile may or may not be active.
The reply may or may not happen.
The person behind the profile is completely unknown.
Which feels a bit like WarGames:
"Would you like to play a game?"
The only thing that's guaranteed is that the points leave your account.

[PL****]

2 minutes ago, NocturnalVisitations said:

To be clear, I'm not asking how to bypass filters.
I'm questioning a system where:
The points are real.
The cost is real.
The profile may or may not be active.
The reply may or may not happen.
The person behind the profile is completely unknown.
Which feels a bit like WarGames:
"Would you like to play a game?"
The only thing that's guaranteed is that the points leave your account.

So why spend the points then? Talk to people that you can message.

[ts****]

As a girlie with her dms open, the filters are more than fair. Not all of us want free use with all men (give and inch they take a mile). For me I have an age limit set because I’m not into vastly older men. I have it set to where only friends can send pics because otherwise I get spammed by hookup dudes with their dick pics ad nauseam. While not everybody does this, I need these filters for my own sanity.

Your *** should not bypass mine or anybody else’s filters 🤷‍♀️

With that said, I would advocate for more transparency with the filter system that way anybody who initiates knows if they are within that filter’s limits. Def seems like a *** sink if there is a financial way to “bypass” the filter but said bypass doesn’t actually exist.

[ts****]

54 minutes ago, sardonicus87 said:

You guys are seriously not listening to the OP. They aren't talking about bypassing age and other filters.

Sometimes when a user is new, you might pass their filters, but are still required to send them a gift or something before messaging (not sure what filter that is, or if women have more options, only filter I see relevant to that is "premium users only", because I don't see a message filter option that requires a gift first).

I don't know how many times the OP has to reiterate what they're talking about before you guys stop hammering on the one thing they've explicitly stated they aren't talking about.

Being somewhat new here, my DMs were closed when I created my account. I had to enable them/the filter before I started getting any messages. I had comments in my pics about men not being able to DM me.

With that said, the filters exist for a reason. Its one thing to advocate for a different default DM setting for new users, but as someone who was overwhelmed with this apps features, I think it’s fine the way it is.