Value check: How are premium members navigating the current message filters?

[Deleted Member]

The same ones crying about needing messaging filters are the ones too stupid to understand the question to begin with…

[sa****]

I don’t think spending points to send a “gift” to a female with the filter on has ever resulted in her responding to me. That would be another question is does it actually work? Also for females that use it, do you like it, why do you use it, have you ever actually met someone from Fet?

[ey****]

to step through the process

non-subscribers are limited are unable to message newly created accounts (not sure of what time scales) regardless of any other filters.   They are also limited to how many conversations they can inititiate or spanks they can send.

OK, this we get.

There are two paid tiers.  Premium and VIP.  Both of which can message newly created accounts - however... both are limited to how many messages they can initiate or spanks they can send, it's just higher volumes than the free tier.  They also cannot message people who have filters set if they fall outside of these filters.

If you have reached the message limit (25 Premium, 50 VIP) then I think you can keep messaging if you spend points (which aren't real ***, while you can buy points most are earned via site activity) 

Equally, yes, if someone has a filter set then you can message them with a gift.  My personal view is this is actually pretty shitty, cos they've likely set a filter and so you're outside their wants anyway - but, hey ho. But yes, you get the option to spend points on a gift to bypass the filters 

I know in recent months they did change it so newly created accounts automatically have a filter set stopping anyone who is more than 10 years older than them messaging - this is a slight issue if they haven't realised it is set and want to turn it off if they don't mind

Me personally, never sent a gift to enable chat with someone I'm outside the filters for because it feels folly. Even if someone was say, 33, so not exactly me preying on young uns, if they've filters they haven't adjusted yet - poss best to let them settle in

 

Is there any specific point unanswered?

[St****]

This app is 🗑️ save your ***

[sardonicus87]

Really, you can bypass any filters with a gift if you're premium?

That's gross and makes me want to quit. If someone sets an age filter, nobody outside that should be able to ever message regardless of whether they pay.

Now I can understand the new person bypass for premium, or popular user (like if a new user gets bombarded), but if that's true that you can bypass any filter by gifting when premium, then this place is bad.

And honestly, I think you shouldn't be able to send someone gifts if you're outside their filters anyway, that's f---ed up.

[Br****]

I guess my question would be why do you want to bypass the filter? They clearly have a preference. Why would you pay in app currency to bypass a filter to talk to someone that is probably not interested in the first place since they have those filters in place?

[Br****]

I'm not trying to be mean, just genuinely curious and confused. Maybe I'm missing something. 🤷‍♀️ I don't have message filters on, so Idk how it exactly it works.

[No****]

I think we've finally found the misunderstanding.
I've never been arguing that people shouldn't have filters or that users should be able to pay to bypass them.
If anything, I agree with the opposite: if someone sets a hard filter, it should be respected.
My original question was whether Premium members are getting good value if points/gifts are still required before communication can even begin in some situations.
Those are two different discussions, and I think we've accidentally been having both at the same time.

[Br****]

Lol, got it. Understood. 😊

[PL****]

12 minutes ago, NocturnalVisitations said:

I think we've finally found the misunderstanding.
I've never been arguing that people shouldn't have filters or that users should be able to pay to bypass them.
If anything, I agree with the opposite: if someone sets a hard filter, it should be respected.
My original question was whether Premium members are getting good value if points/gifts are still required before communication can even begin in some situations.
Those are two different discussions, and I think we've accidentally been having both at the same time.

My responses were a response to that, especially my second response. I do not think those points spent on stickers are a good value, thus spend the points in other places. I think that both discussions kind of intertwine as why I made the statements that I had. However, I appreciate your clarification and apologize if my comments disuaded the conversation or mislead it. I guess I should have clarified that and looking back I can see how my comments may have leaned toward 1 side of the conversation rather then the other. I do get the point of stickers only in the fact that there may be that 1 person in 100 that thinks twice when receiving a sticker or a comment on a photo. However, I personally am not an individual who wants to respond outside of my filters. Which is why I set them (as I assume is the case for most who have filters set). However, having said this I also get that the creators of the app have some commerce goals or everything in the app would be free. Therefore, I make the choice not to spend my app points on stickers, and use stickers when I get 1 free occasionally, just for fun. This means I don't spend my *** on that feature and those who wish to I don't fault them for trying to get attention of someone they are interested in.

[Yo****]

Very poorly ‼️ There is no value there‼️🥺

[Yo****]

The whole thing is a big *** grab, with little to nothing in return‼️👎

[sa****]

I didn’t even realize the filter was like that… I thought it was just a thing someone could set that ***d anyone who even wanted a chance to speak to them to send a gift and then they would have to respond before you could talk. I thought it applied to literally every user and I didn’t realize that if I saw that it meant I was outside their preferences

[Mr****]

No, there’s no inherent value. It’s a nickel and diming tactic designed by a company to make *** off of thirsty men. It doesn’t cost a thing to go outside and talk to people - and you have just about the same chance of access and/or connection, but actually have to act right and don’t have a keyboard or screen to hide behind. People are using the internet to disconnect on a social level, not come together - and it’s disgusting. Stop paying for any/all apps and allowing businesses to thrive on your personal social worth. If the people out there need to you spend *** just for simple social and conversational consideration - they aren’t worth the time or effort; they’re just a horribly expensive learning curve.

[ey****]

5 hours ago, NocturnalVisitations said:

My original question was whether Premium members are getting good value if points/gifts are still required before communication can even begin in some situations.

value is difficult to quantify

so yes, there will always be some you cannot message, nor should be able to

I think it is a case of looking at premium features as a whole, see who spanked you, see profile visitors (if that is value) appear higher in search listings, send messages to people sooner, start more messages, send more spanks, etc. 

So it's basically a kinda, do you feel these features are worth it?

[sardonicus87]

As a side note, it's apparent that they need to make some of this stuff more clear. Because there's other users who apparently have no clue there's automatic filters applied they might not want. I wonder how many quit because they aren't getting messages and it's because there's some default message filter set that they don't realize is there?

And that should also be changed, premium or not, sending a gift shouldn't even be possible if you don't pass their filters for messaging in the first place. If someone doesn't want messages from filtered people, they probably don't want gifts from them either.

[Br****]

59 minutes ago, eyemblacksheep said:

value is difficult to quantify

so yes, there will always be some you cannot message, nor should be able to

I think it is a case of looking at premium features as a whole, see who spanked you, see profile visitors (if that is value) appear higher in search listings, send messages to people sooner, start more messages, send more spanks, etc. 

So it's basically a kinda, do you feel these features are worth it?

Another side note. I've never once used the "spank" feature but I continuously get "crushes". Which means we've both basically swiped right on each other. It makes me feel awful that theres such a bad glitch in the system that it keeps telling people we've crushed on each other getting their hopes up when Im not even interested in the first place. I've put in a ticket with support and they basically said I must be accidentally hitting the button, but I'm not. I don't use the feature. Plus it's crushed me with men in their 70s, a woman, and a couple now. So they finally said they'd look into it further.

[sw****]

17 minutes ago, Brea1608 said:

Another side note. I've never once used the "spank" feature but I continuously get "crushes". Which means we've both basically swiped right on each other. It makes me feel awful that theres such a bad glitch in the system that it keeps telling people we've crushed on each other getting their hopes up when Im not even interested in the first place. I've put in a ticket with support and they basically said I must be accidentally hitting the button, but I'm not. I don't use the feature. Plus it's crushed me with men in their 70s, a woman, and a couple now. So they finally said they'd look into it further.

Crush means they spanked you, not that it's mutual.

[St****]

Who has to send gifts to people. What r we?

[Br****]

16 minutes ago, sweetNsubby said:

Crush means they spanked you, not that it's mutual.

Crush is a mutual spank. Just like on other dating apps, you can't see them unless both swipe right on each other. You shouldn't see crushes unless you've also spanked them in return.

[Ka****]

34 minutes ago, Brea1608 said:

Crush is a mutual spank. Just like on other dating apps, you can't see them unless both swipe right on each other. You shouldn't see crushes unless you've also spanked them in return.

I’m not sure if this is true. I’ve never ever spanked anyone.. yet I get crushes all the time. I think a crush is just the other side of a spank.. if you spank/right swipe someone then it shows up as a crush for that person. I’m not trying to argue, I just know I had 3 crushes when I logged on today and I’ve never right swiped or spanked a person here, nor have a been here for a couple days to do so.

[Br****]

3 minutes ago, Katlynn6612 said:

I’m not sure if this is true. I’ve never ever spanked anyone.. yet I get crushes all the time. I think a crush is just the other side of a spank.. if you spank/right swipe someone then it shows up as a crush for that person. I’m not trying to argue, I just know I had 3 crushes when I logged on today and I’ve never right swiped or spanked a person here, nor have a been here for a couple days to do so.

This is copy and pasted from an email the support team sent me a week ago. Lol

"Hey Brea1608, totally get why that feels awkward — nobody wants to hand out “false hope.” 💜

On FET, a Crush only happens when it’s mutual:

they Spank you + you Spank them back (that Spank can be a swipe right, but it can also happen in other places).

Why you might be getting Crushes even if you “never swipe right”
A Spank can be sent in a few ways, not just swiping:
- Tapping the Spank icon (raised hand) on someone’s profile
- Using Search → Spanks and then swiping right or tapping the Spank there
- Accidental taps/swipes (it’s surprisingly easy on mobile)
- Less common, but important: someone else accessing your account on another device/browser

How to stop it from happening
Try these quick checks:
1. Avoid the Spanks screen for a bit: Go to Search → Spanks and make sure you’re not swiping there by habit.
2. Be careful on profiles: If you’re scrolling, keep an eye out for the Spank icon so it doesn’t get tapped accidentally.
3. Secure your account (just in case):
- Change your password
- Log out of FET on any devices you don’t use anymore (and log back in only on your own)
- If you reuse passwords elsewhere, make this one unique

Quick reality check
If you open one of those “Crushes,” it should show who it is — and that means at some point a Spank was sent from your account (even if it was accidental).

If you tell me whether you’re using the app or web, I can point you to the exact spot where Spanks are most commonly sent by accident.

Keep it kinky 😈

Your FET Team"

[sw****]

3 hours ago, Brea1608 said:

Crush is a mutual spank. Just like on other dating apps, you can't see them unless both swipe right on each other. You shouldn't see crushes unless you've also spanked them in return.

No, that's not how it works. You see all "Crushes via Spanks" without swiping back on them. If you have also crushed, they're highlighted with a purple box that says CRUSH. That's when it's mutual. But you can see them as they're sent by the other person. I don't pay for the app

[Br****]

34 minutes ago, sweetNsubby said:

No, that's not how it works. You see all "Crushes via Spanks" without swiping back on them. If you have also crushed, they're highlighted with a purple box that says CRUSH. That's when it's mutual. But you can see them as they're sent by the other person. I don't pay for the app

Please tell the technical support team that then. 🤣 Because as you can see above in the copy/pasted email they sent me, they say otherwise. 🤷‍♀️ And my crushes are under crushes. Not spanks. I don't even use the spank feature. Ever. I'm talking about the actual category that says crushes. I don't pay for this app either. Every once in a while Ill use my points for like a 14 day membership or something. But I would never spend my own *** on it.

[Qu****]

The app is purely pay to meet. The amount of likes and spanks I have are crazy and I can like and spank users back that haven't liked or spanked me but the ones that have liked me or soanked me require a premium subscription to like or spank them back. It's incredibly obvious and turned me completely away from spending *** here.