Attachment styles

[ro****]

9 minutes ago, roseburg734059 said:

I definitely used to bottle things up and that eventually led to self medication (alcohol) and that led to a attempt at not being around anymore got diagnosed with bipolar decided I was ready to stop self medicating put myself through rehab, realized my first love would be happier in life if she had a partner she was able to trust so I let her go because I really did/do love her and that means I wanted her to be the happiest version of herself and I knew that me being her partner was no longer the best for her.
Took 4 years off of trying to date and random hookups, became a manager of a adult foster home for the mentally disabled, went to school to become a behavior health specialist, found people I can trust to help me process my emotions and talk with and got comfortable enough with the support I had, the work I’ve done, and who I am to understand I can’t ever control the universe or the people who live amungst me in it. I can only control how I react to those things. I am no better than anyone else, as there is no absolute right way to live life or process emotions. There is only the way that works for each person.
So how I choose to be a little tougher on myself and what I want to bring to my relationships and friendships isn’t what is best or good for everyone just works for me.
I am a open book if anyone of my partners wants to hear my worries or ***s I am more than willing to let them in but I don’t have any expectations on others to do so I just appreciate when they do spend time on me, with me or for me

And I’m not saying don’t communicate, absolutely communicate it’s what your other half is for partners are a team, I’m saying try and calm self and don’t let the anxiety get you worked up enough to only communicate and not listen to your partner as well. I used to be very bad at this and never realized until my therapist pointed it out to me

[Bi****]

I used to have a girlfriend who had an extreme anxious attachment style... DM me if you want to chat about it

[St****]

So I used to play with an anxious style, and I am quite avoidant. What we lacked in our relationship was clear communication, he had a lot of expectations of me but didn't communicate them very well, and I sensed a lot of the things he did as quite possessive. It's important that you talk about your needs as other attachment style people may interpret them differently. He got very frustrated with me but I just needed space to breathe, it's normal and fine to be anxious, in fact it can compliment someone like me who subconsciously keeps people at arms length. I often don't realise I'm doing it so the communication element is so important.

[DY****]

Dr Jess Taylor’s advice on attachment styles changed my perspective on it. I’m not anxiously attached to everyone, I’m only anxious about attachment to very important people like my kids and someone I’d be in a relationship with. I’m very avoidant to loose friends and acquaintances. This creates another problem because it’s just too hard to get close to anyone to even think about becoming anxiously attached to them. Also, if you’re straight, I think accepting that the chance of finding a “good” man is next to zilch and most see you as nothing but a useable vessel for their own ends. This really helps with the pining and want for connection because, in my opinion, men just aren’t capable of it. I don’t have the answer but this is what is helping me

[jinxed]

On 7/22/2026 at 8:29 PM, Trobbinghood said:

All I can say is try to avoid avoidant type, they will ruin you.

Could you explain a little bit what it feels like to be with an avoidant type? In what ways will it ruin you?

[To****]

Saturday at 04:36 PM, DYSY26 said:

Dr Jess Taylor’s advice on attachment styles changed my perspective on it. I’m not anxiously attached to everyone, I’m only anxious about attachment to very important people like my kids and someone I’d be in a relationship with. I’m very avoidant to loose friends and acquaintances. This creates another problem because it’s just too hard to get close to anyone to even think about becoming anxiously attached to them. Also, if you’re straight, I think accepting that the chance of finding a “good” man is next to zilch and most see you as nothing but a useable vessel for their own ends. This really helps with the pining and want for connection because, in my opinion, men just aren’t capable of it. I don’t have the answer but this is what is helping me

So you’re looking in all the wrong places for the right type of person surely not all men are the same some have empathy and understanding but you won’t sort yourself out until you realise it’s an infection given to you way back in a relationship where your feelings an emotions had been hurt n you have zilch trust in men. In a straight relationship..