xR**** Posted 5 hours ago I ran into this topic on FetLife and it really hit somewhere. I think a lot of people fight with this, and it's worse because it p1sses other people off. So here goes. Do you apologize for everything? Even when it isn't your fault? Like, you are a burden or your actions are inconveniencing someone? Let me give an example: The other night, I was tired. My brain couldn't handle stimulation. It couldn't hold back my intrusive thoughts. I was driving to get food, the first thing I had eaten in almost 48 hours. I was going around a curve and an 18 wheeler was coming at me, in my lane. Did I turn? Stop? No. I took my hands off the wheel. I quit caring. I wanted it to stop. The truck swerved back into his lane and just missed me. I hit my brakes. I cried. I just cried. I managed to get my food and ***d myself to eat it. A friend asked me to hop on a game. I did. Sweetest person in the world. What did I do? I cried. Constantly. And apologized for crying. I repeated I am sorry over and over. I couldn't stop, I couldn't stop crying. It was my fault. I was bothering her. I was ruining this game. i was ruining our time together. She said otherwise. It didn't matter to me. I was being annoying. My last domme hates it when I said I am sorry. I got fussed at for saying it. For a little thing that I thought was an inconvenience to someone else. I had to apologize for existing..I should be grateful to even be alive, what right do I have to annoy someone else? So my question; how do you deal with this? And more importantly, as a partner of someone who is like this, whether a son or sub, how do you handle it? How did you help them accept being accepted? What do you do to turn that moment into their safe space?
Lovely-6208 Posted 2 hours ago Hey boo, whatever you’re dealing with, you’re going to get through it. In my opinion, you will get hurt more than helped by being on this app. If it were up to me, I would keep you off this app. I pray you heal! Tap into your life’s purpose🙏
su**** Posted 2 hours ago tbh im the same way, i still apologize excessively irl, like at work, but i realized that with people (especially online) it doesn’t matter. i dont care what people think of me, i mean clearly. i have some body mods and dyed hair. if i actually gave a fuck about how other people see me id probably end up bland and in psychosis again. you dont need to apologize excessively, a good person will tell you when somethings wrong. having said that, truck thing sounds concerning asf, go get checked out. and mb my thoughts are everywhere all the time so idk if this comment even makes sense.
Ba**** Posted 1 hour ago If you think it’s too much of apologies maybe it’s not an apology at all at this point? Maybe it’s already a provocation to being granted with others acceptance (your words) I guess Lovely is right - your help is definitely not here. And moreover not in your partner. No one deserves being presented with this. Get some professional advice before it’s too late.
ca**** Posted 1 hour ago (edited) you probably have some unresolved trauma along the lines, possibly as a child being disciplined harshly without the ability to state your case, and no course for forgiveness from your nearest and dearest.( just as an example, not a guess). how would i approach it, time to discuss there feelings when they feel comfortable, id clearly let my partner know that there feeling's matter and they are very real if even you dont believe they are valid. and id allow some care time after to ensure some theraputic rapport was established. dm's open if i can help. xx you matter and your feelings matter. xx Edited 1 hour ago by castleamd
JulyM Posted 1 hour ago Sadly this is common when most of your life has passed surrounded by people who, one way or another, makes you feel inadequate. It is hard to overcome but little by little, you can snap out of it. Start thinking, every time the urge arise, would this person apologise to me in a reverse situation? do I owe anything to this person? I know it's very cynical, but it's survival. It took me ages to 'rewire' myself this way, I used to be like you. Sometimes, the hardest part is not being accepted by the others, it is accepting ourselves, learn to feel we're no less than any else around us. Also, I feel like telling you, please, 48 hours without proper food is dangerous, darling, makes you feel very miserable, the brain has run out of fuel. Not underestimating the way you feel here, just saying the need to cry was made even worse by that. And finally, the truck thing, that's terrible my darling girl, if that's a recurring wish you have, PLEASE seek the support from someone with the right competence to advice you on this, not from people on here. We can share out views/experiences up to a certain point, but if you're seeking for proper support, you should look in the right place. Please, take care of yourself and NO, we are never a burden nor inconveniencing anyone that really loves and cares for us. But that love and care for you, it MUST start from yourself! <3
Sw**** Posted 1 hour ago I tried messaging you.. I’m new to this app but I can’t figure out why I can’t lol nbd just wanted to share some personal insight with you that maybe might be helpful to you.. or atleast going it would be.
to**** Posted 54 minutes ago I personally am the exact opposite I apologize for very little I don't do anything wrong to grant people an apology and I also don't give a ratts ass about people's opinion I have a job my own apartment so what the hell am I going to worry or concern myself with people's opinions of me I'm most certainly not I've got better things to do!
fa**** Posted 37 minutes ago 59 minutes ago, castleamd said: you probably have some unresolved trauma along the lines, possibly as a child being disciplined harshly without the ability to state your case, and no course for forgiveness from your nearest and dearest.( just as an example, not a guess). how would i approach it, time to discuss there feelings when they feel comfortable, id clearly let my partner know that there feeling's matter and they are very real if even you dont believe they are valid. and id allow some care time after to ensure some theraputic rapport was established. dm's open if i can help. xx you matter and your feelings matter. xx they are talking about playing a game with a friend not a partner. My point is you missed a key detail in her story. Based on what they shared, not being “heard, seen or in this case read” can be an isolated feeling isolating feeling.
ta**** Posted 34 minutes ago Please consider getting a little help. I wanted to talk about apologising, but sorry (😇), I can't get past not eating for 2-days and not caring about an oncoming 18-wheeler.
Ch**** Posted 25 minutes ago People who apologizes all the time are people who were emotionally ***d as a child. We think everything is our fault so we apologize for everything. I do it all the time, unfortunately.
Fi**** Posted 23 minutes ago It’s an unhealthy coping mechanism. Start telling people to f**k off instead of apologizing. It’s how I broke myself of it.
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