Cute and kinky might be a problem?

[Vi****]

You're on a kink site. It's kind of expected that you're kinky. Describe yourself accurately and make it very clear what you need to be able to feel comfortable with your partner. Also make it clear that until you are comfortable, the kinks will stay on the shelf. Just make your boundaries and requirements crystal clear.

[Su****]

It’s really really really hard. Most guys don’t understand I want a relationship not just crazy kinky sex 😆. I did find one on here tho!!!!!! There’s hope!!!

[Su****]

In reply to VirginiaGuy, my entire bio was wanting more than just to be dominated yet countless guys hmu for nsa. Now my bio says mffm or single women only, and guys still hit me up for NSA 🤦‍♀️

[ja****]

9 minutes ago, SunshyneAndDaisy said:

In reply to VirginiaGuy, my entire bio was wanting more than just to be dominated yet countless guys hmu for nsa. Now my bio says mffm or single women only, and guys still hit me up for NSA 🤦‍♀️

The problem my dear is that women either don't know what they actually want or they lie on their profiles you know any guy that's been on a dating site long enough just ends up dismissing that stuff because we know it's bullshit. Besides that we're all human beings we're supposed to be flexible

[wi****]

As demonstrated by some of these comments, being cute and kinky isn’t the problem - you are not the problem - immature and emotionally unstable men are the problem.

[wi****]

15 minutes ago, jaxnorth said:

The problem my dear is that women either don't know what they actually want or they lie on their profiles you know any guy that's been on a dating site long enough just ends up dismissing that stuff because we know it's bullshit. Besides that we're all human beings we're supposed to be flexible

Seek therapy. It’s men like you that make women choose ‘bear’.

[Ma****]

I do have a suggestion: Kinky and looking through get a PARTNER who sees me as a person and not just a pretty neat who likes *** I am the type of woman who likes being degraded, but I also need a LONG TERM CONNECTION in order to feel safe and like it.

But you already know this. This might be the source of some of your problems. We all need much better honest communication. You are not here for suggestions, you made this post in order to complain about hundreds of unsolicited messages that mismatch what you seek. So just say "fuck you guys".

Your problem is very solvable but is tightly coupled with market dynamics and how these platforms make mon@y until women decide to pour more mon@y than men.

I wish you patience while ignoring these messages and blocking these DESPERADOs

[ex****]

Shouldn’t have to hide it at all. You just need to find the right guy that is down with the kinky shit!!!!!! There’s not many of us it seems. :(. But yet here I am single lol. No but really don’t change who you are and act just cuz some guys are idiots. You will get the right kinky mf soon enough. 😉😝😝

[Un****]

Yes, absolutely. Being kinky doesn’t mean you have to choose between being honest about what you enjoy and being seen as a whole person. The right partner should be able to understand that you can enjoy *** within a consensual dynamic and still need affection, trust, respect, and emotional connection outside of it.

For me, that distinction matters. What happens within an agreed dynamic doesn’t define someone’s worth outside of it. If you need connection before you can feel safe enough to explore that *** side of yourself, that isn’t contradictory, it’s part of what makes the dynamic work for you.

I’d be upfront about both sides. “Yes, I’m kinky, and yes, connection matters to me.” Someone who only hears the first half probably isn’t offering what you’re looking for anyway.

[Go****]

Yeah you can totally find a partner who cares about you, loves you, wants the best for you c treats you how you like but also understands and shares your kink in a way that’s healthy.

I’d word it something like that but more elaborate and personal.

Just make sure you have a large enough sample group and don’t rush anything; the harder you like to play the more important it gets to find someone who’s really really aligned with you.

A great measuring stick for me has always been can I talk to someone like a regular person or can they soak like regular people.

Whenever I see someone rush to try and make every conversation about getting off, about how they can be the one, how hard they’re gonna,
What they’re gonna do to ya…

That’s a red red flag.

Not being able to separate the kink from a basic conversation seems to me more like an impulsive and addictive behaviour than a sign of potential as a partnership.

Find people who aren’t in a rush to dominate and degrade you and you’ll probably increase the % of quality options and decrease the % of the wrong kind of weirdos.

[Vi****]

I've been thinking about this the last day or so. This is a kink site, not necessarily a dating site. That already attracts a certain type of user. I don't know what your profile looks like but if you lead with your kinks/fetishes, that's the first impression somebody has but a lot of men will base their pursuit of you solely on that impression. It's not right, but it's true.
If you're interested in proper dating, like to find a boyfriend/husband, then I think you'd be better off going to a dating site and adding "kink friendly" to your profile. The point of those sites is dating so the expectations are much different there. And definitely make everything crystal clear here regarding what you're looking for. The second somebody tries to move beyond that, shut that shit down immediately.

I'm not saying you can't find what you're looking for here but to do so you really need to make your expectations known, with no ambiguity and stand by them.

[re****]

all starts and ends with chemistry imo. can't *** that

[Shadow_fay]

Just be yrself if ppl treat you like meat or an item then there not the right person for you

[Deleted Member]

How rough are you wanting? Because I might even leave certain things like that out of your bio and just ask for it in bed or during pillow talk. Most guys would probably be down for normal rough sh*t