Empty profiles are a red flag

[Ki****]

5 hours ago, cellofello said:

The problem frequently voiced by women is that too many male fishes jump into the tank whether wanted or not - even when there's an explicit statement about exactly which kind is wanted. Since fish - um, sorry, I mean people - have only a limited amount of time, having to do extensive research to check out each fish is also likely to miss out on something good simply due to lack of time. At the very least, the fishes that clearly identify themselves as the wanted type go to the front of the line.

Something else I do to save time is cut and paste from other dating apps/socials

[ey****]

14 hours ago, cellofello said:

The problem frequently voiced by women is that too many male fishes jump into the tank whether wanted or not - even when there's an explicit statement about exactly which kind is wanted. Since fish - um, sorry, I mean people - have only a limited amount of time, having to do extensive research to check out each fish is also likely to miss out on something good simply due to lack of time.

I think sometimes this is also a different between a lot of mindsets.  

Like men who feel they have limited options will message or engage with blank profiles hoping it goes somewhere (which is why they're catnip to scammers) and women tend to already know they won't go anywhere.

 

There's a story I sometimes cite of a lady who works professionally who over a year or two year period decided she would reply to (almost) every message no matter how mundane.  The exceptions of course any where the opening messages were abusive, threatening, etc.

Now in her case, she did have a desire to meet - she worked professionally - so was also a bit wider as compatibility was simply "would I be happy to play for a couple of hours" anyhow, there was a direct link... the volume of basic messages she got ("Hey" etc) were the most and were least likely to end in a booking, and those that did end in a booking took a longer time to get there.   The better messages, better profiles were far more likely to result in a booking and in fewer messages.  Obviously in that case we're talking messages rather than profiles, but her collected experience over a 2 year period was that, yes, sometimes the very basic stuff DID go somewhere and sometimes it was good, but on the balance wasn't worth it.

[re****]

Unfortunately I am a woman with a VERY empty profile because I recently stepped into a leadership position with an organization…

I don’t know it feels like a safety thing and I just get nervous. I’m on this app maybe once or twice a month hoping I’d find somebody I have interest in and feel comfortable enough to open up to.

I know I’m responding to like .5 of your OP but

Raahhhhh :(

[Ki****]

7 hours ago, redheadedwillow13 said:

Unfortunately I am a woman with a VERY empty profile because I recently stepped into a leadership position with an organization…

I don’t know it feels like a safety thing and I just get nervous. I’m on this app maybe once or twice a month hoping I’d find somebody I have interest in and feel comfortable enough to open up to.

I know I’m responding to like .5 of your OP but

Raahhhhh :(

Yeah, I understand that you have a good point there, but if whoever you’re scared of finding this profile those two things to think about they’re gonna recognize it’s you regardless of your bio second of all they are also on this website so mutual assured destruction.
It’s like when I went onto a furry site back in 2009 I was worried about my employer finding me and someone else told me that relax if you’re employer find this, you have nothing to worry about because he’ll be a furry too lol good point I might even get a raise he said one way or another gross lol 😆

[Pe****]

For some thats the kink in itself, for others its ***, others insecurities or a mix of overconfidence then self doubt, others lack time, others thought you were what they sought but realized to late you weren't.

Its a spectrum.

[jg****]

Mine ain’t empty

[Ba****]

8 hours ago, jg4201 said:

Mine ain’t empty

Congratulations

[ja****]

September 6, KnottyLibrarian said:

You weren't blocked for replying. You were blocked because every dating app shows me people I have swiped left on over and over. Immediately blocking the ones who aren't what I am looking for cuts my time wasted on babysitting fragile egos.

It's a fascinating phenomenon how social media has and dating sites has given frankly subpar women and ego boost to the point where they Screech about Friday a Gile Egos and things like that. It's like my God

[ja****]

September 12, redheadedwillow13 said:

Unfortunately I am a woman with a VERY empty profile because I recently stepped into a leadership position with an organization…

I don’t know it feels like a safety thing and I just get nervous. I’m on this app maybe once or twice a month hoping I’d find somebody I have interest in and feel comfortable enough to open up to.

I know I’m responding to like .5 of your OP but

Raahhhhh :(

The problem is when a woman has an empty profile that's acceptable when a man has an empty profile it's acceptable to ignore him like there's no effort to get to go in with empty profiles

[ey****]

7 hours ago, jaxnorth said:

 

The problem is when a woman has an empty profile that's acceptable when a man has an empty profile it's acceptable to ignore him like there's no effort to get to go in with empty profiles

I think it's acceptable for anyone to have an empty profile.  But, there's a difference in perspective.   Like, there are a lot of reasons to have an empty profile - laziness is one of them, cold feet is another, privacy concerns is another - particularly if they are cheating, or perhaps they're actually only on the site to window shop or 'spy' on a specific user or users, then of course spam/bot accounts.   Obviously of course the relevance on these (which ties in with the OPs point) can go with the length of time someone has been on a site and how active they are.  Someone who has been here a few days might be finding their feet. Someone barely active might be generally unsure. Someone who has been in a while and logs in regular-ish, seems little/no reason to not fill out a profile unless, I guess, they're getting what they want (and tying in with another thread, it seems men in general are not getting what they want)

Anyhow

Perspectives. A woman is contacted by, or sees when browsing, an empty male profile and sees the above and feels this is a red flag. Multiple reasons and red flag doesn't mean the person is necessarily dangerous or anything like that, but that they're lazy/cheating/or likely to flake. That they're there for dirty talk to wank and go rather than whatever they promise in DM.

A man sees an empty female profile and just decides to ignore all of the previous.  Almost like some of these are good things.  New/finding their feet.... oooh "opportunity".   Cheating... bazing.  Only want dirty talk to get off, yeah ok.  But then they're all butthurt when it turns out to be a scam, bot or because they've cold feet, flakes.  

A lot of which ties in with how a lot of men are sometimes TOO desperate. 

[cellofello]

12 hours ago, jaxnorth said:

The problem is when a woman has an empty profile that's acceptable when a man has an empty profile it's acceptable to ignore him like there's no effort to get to go in with empty profiles

Acceptable to whom? Dude, if you want to go chasing after women who have completely empty profiles even after a full week on the site, nobody's stopping you from messaging them. Your time is your own to spend as you see fit. If many turn out to be timewasting catfish, well, you can't say you weren't warned. I have different criteria, and it's my right to not bother initiating contact with women with empty profiles. If one messages me with something other than a stupid canned icebreaker or something that clearly indicates a non-native English speaker despite a profile claiming otherwise, I give them one chance to tell me what they're looking for and why they thought I might satisfy it.

I don't know who needs to hear this, but all discussion participation shows up in your profile. If you feel you're being summarily judged by women, part of what you're being judged on is what you've said in discussions. You might want to engage in some serious reflection on what kind of image you're presenting to women in your ever-growing and not at all empty profile. Just saying.

[cellofello]

September 11, redheadedwillow13 said:

Unfortunately I am a woman with a VERY empty profile because I recently stepped into a leadership position with an organization…

I don’t know it feels like a safety thing and I just get nervous. I’m on this app maybe once or twice a month hoping I’d find somebody I have interest in and feel comfortable enough to open up to.

I know I’m responding to like .5 of your OP but

Raahhhhh :(

At least you've filled out the BDSM questionnaire, which is more than I can say about a huge number of profiles I look at. And as I commented elsewhere, your forum participation shows up in your profile as well, which also helps to show you as a real person. (Granted, in the case of some people, what that participation shows does the opposite of helping them.)

[ke****]

Why is there alot of profile that you have to send them a gift first to talk to them?

[FE****]

12 minutes ago, kennedale94845 said:

Why is there alot of profile that you have to send them a gift first to talk to them?

That happens when you are outside the filters set on the profile.  It's the system offering you the option, not the user asking for it.

[Deleted Member]

25 minutes ago, kennedale94845 said:

Why is there alot of profile that you have to send them a gift first to talk to them?

I would like to know this too. I "think" it is because I am not a paid member... but I don't really know.

[ke****]

12 minutes ago, FETMod-RG said:

That happens when you are outside the filters set on the profile.  It's the system offering you the option, not the user asking for it.

Ohhh ok I was wondering

[ey****]

33 minutes ago, StoriBookGal said:

 

I would like to know this too. I "think" it is because I am not a paid member... but I don't really know.

nah; they've set a filter

you're outside of it.    But you can bypass with a "gift" - which to me is some kinda... BS.... cos if someone has set a filter saying they only want, say, men who are 25-40, then a 45 year old guy using a 'gift' to bypass this is... foolish on their part and frustrating for the receiver. 

[FE****]

30 minutes ago, eyemblacksheep said:

nah; they've set a filter

you're outside of it.    But you can bypass with a "gift" - which to me is some kinda... BS.... cos if someone has set a filter saying they only want, say, men who are 25-40, then a 45 year old guy using a 'gift' to bypass this is... foolish on their part and frustrating for the receiver. 

I agree with you but a couple of pedantic points.  The gift doesn't bypass the message filter.  It leaves the user a notification.  It's still up to the user what they do with it.

Secondly, some filters are set by the system, so the user hasn't always specifically said they don't want contact outside the filter range set.

[ja****]

Yesterday at 07:33 PM, FETMod-RG said:

That happens when you are outside the filters set on the profile.  It's the system offering you the option, not the user asking for it.

It exists so that the website can get more *** by forcing you to be a premium member

[FE****]

1 hour ago, jaxnorth said:

 

It exists so that the website can get more *** by forcing you to be a premium member

I could understand that comment if the premium, paid for membership, allowed you to bypass the message filters, but it doesn't

[ja****]

1 hour ago, FETMod-RG said:

I could understand that comment if the premium, paid for membership, allowed you to bypass the message filters, but it doesn't

Some of it does it definitely bypasses the this person is popular limitation

[ja****]

1 hour ago, FETMod-RG said:

I could understand that comment if the premium, paid for membership, allowed you to bypass the message filters, but it doesn't

And what about the people who said it so that they only receive messages from premium people?