Stop 'Trying' to Be a Good Dominant

[AKA_Copper]

Dominance is not a magic trick or a game that’s won in one easy step. You can’t put it on like a mask. It’s inherent in your character, but it has nothing to do with how well you can railroad us.

When someone offers up their submission, will you use it to sate your sexual desires and not a damned thing else? Or, will you put your sub’s wellbeing ahead of your infinite list of fantasies? I'd guess it's tempting to exploit two open hands and a head full of deference. Show us you're in control and strong enough to resist that.

As subs, we know the risks of power exchange, and we’re not about to take them for a Dominant who’s just looking for their next big O.

It’s easy to criticise and domineer. Selflessness and ethics require real personal power and control. Demonstrate that you're worthy of respect, and your submissive will hand over their entire world, with every grain of sand.

As a top, you need skills, but power exchange is different. You either deserve that level of respect or you don’t.

Subs don’t need to be pushed to submit any more than lava needs to be motivated to become hot. We will open up our hands to a man who shows he has the personal power to manage it and whom we love. I don’t love personas, but people. We will feel posturing the instant it hits the air around us.

You can’t become Dominant, but you can become worthy of submission.

Stop 'trying' to become a good dominant. 'Become' a good person instead.

[TheKurgan]

Right the fuck on. Posers and fuckbois make me crazy. Submission is a gift. Treat it as such. Aftercare, aftercare, aftercare ... See to your sub's mental health as well as physical safety.

[Si****]

Love this!

[ge****]

Always love reading your posts CopperKnob - they either make me laugh, make me think or make me nod in agreement - all very laudable things to make me do.

With this one it's the latter - too many dominants (and sadly 99.9% of them are of the male variety) think it's as simple as telling someone what to do, and taking what they want - and as a result end up trying to be that - rather than trusting their instincts and holding on to core values such as respect and consideration, and truly understanding the person before them and their needs.

[Deleted Member]

A few more egos are cracked in this OP 🤣 ... You're on a roll, Copper.

[Th****]

As usual Copper you make your point with unerring accuracy. Well said. You are definitely shining a light on so many different truths.

[Leisa]

Thank you for the reminder that at the core of any dynamic are the individuals involved. You’re either a good person at your core or you’re not.

[TheKurgan]

BTW, is anyone else of the Dominant persuasion getting scads of messages from other "Dommes" saying that they want to make you their slave? I mean, can they not read? Or, are they bots? I don't get it. Also, I'm getting messages from interested women, but when they message you, everything seems like a scripted response? *boggle*

[ey****]

1 hour ago, TheKurgan said:

BTW, is anyone else of the Dominant persuasion getting scads of messages from other "Dommes" saying that they want to make you their slave? I mean, can they not read? Or, are they bots? I don't get it. Also, I'm getting messages from interested women, but when they message you, everything seems like a scripted response? *boggle*

yeah, it's just scammers following a script in all instances. They don't usually last long before the site boots them off

[Deleted Member]

2 hours ago, TheKurgan said:

BTW, is anyone else of the Dominant persuasion getting scads of messages from other "Dommes" saying that they want to make you their slave? I mean, can they not read? Or, are they bots? I don't get it. Also, I'm getting messages from interested women, but when they message you, everything seems like a scripted response? *boggle*

I have experienced this behavior  from so called Dom's from the time I set foot into BDSM as a Domme, they are not following any script, much different intentions to what is behind it, from personal experience anyways.

 

@CopperKnob well written and so accurate, agree entirely.

[Deleted Member]

Yessss!!! Spot on like always!! Thank you for another beautiful message 

[Glasgowdom1991]

I just try and be my self and at least that way I can look my self in the mirror

[NewDaddy2021]

That's a lovely post and for me, even though I'm my really short time frame of being a Dom the sexual side has been amazing  the things that get me are the things she says that allow her to be sexual.

She said this last night...

"You do now baby you make me feel so fucking sexy"

"Like when I get dressed of a morning I feel so beautiful and sexy that is all you baby "

"You have made me fall in love with my body I don't feel insecure anymore that is all because of you "

Receiving messages like this brings me so much more satisfaction than anything, even if the side effects are a more confident sexual woman her personal feeling and new confidence is amazing.