You're On Kink Dating Site, You Must Be A Slut!

[AKA_Copper]

There is a thought that vanilla men descend on Fet in droves because "kinky women will duck anything." This is how The Meat List was born: one ridiculous belief at a time. Did anyone notice that that list never gained traction? I can tell you why.

I'm kinky and I'm about as easy as a Rubix cube. My vagina was born on an exo-planet where anything sex related is reserved for emotionally intimate relationships. I hate one-night stands. I'll never play with strangers at parties. I'll never attend one of those orgies that are always being posted in a kinky ad. We've seen hopeful men try to create those events, so we can inform you that nobody attends them except vanilla men who refuse to go to a regular play party.

I gather most of the women on Fet are like me for one excellent reason: If you let an internet stranger tie you to a St Andrews cross in a Dungeon, you might not make it out alive. If you let an internet stranger bottom for you in that Dungeon, you might not make it out without a prison sentence.

I only evolve into a True Slut after you've crawled under my skin and into my head. Before that, I'm the nice vanilla girl you introduced to your parents back when you were 14. To most, I'm a puzzle that's too damn hard to solve. My slut-cred is built from my complete unwillingness to shed my knickers.

It takes a lot to push me out of my hard-won celibacy. I've nipped and tucked my life to perfection, so I don't give it up for just anyone. Kink is far more intimate than vanilla sex. I hate intimacy with strangers, so I don't engage in it.

Subs are some of the most misunderstood species on Fet. No, Norman, we aren't subs because we're incapable of living our lives without your help. We don't submit because we're psychologically damaged, and we don't submit because we're too weak for anything else. It takes strength to live on the right side of the slash. When you underestimate us, you prove to us that you'll never manage to Dom us.

We don't submit because we're frail. We do it because we understand our own power well enough to take the risk. That's why inexperienced internet Doms are always accusing us of being fake subs. We're often strong individuals in our vanilla lives, but that has no bearing on our kink choices. If you don't have the capacity to live comfortably with strong women, maybe you're the one who's a fraud?

The sexier you are to us, the sluttier we'll become. Entitled men aren't sexy. Being misconstrued isn't sexy. Lack of safety isn't sexy. So if you're not managing to track down any sluts on Fet, maybe it's time to reassess your own competence as a human being.

Just because us women are here on Fet, doesn't mean we're a slut.

[typhoon2]

Insightful as ever but sadly the ones that need to read this the most are certainly not reading it.

[Sparklethorn]

I feel seen at last.

[Kobiyashisan]

Copperknob ❤️ Well spoken . At least at Fet/fet life etc. We can be oure selfs without judgement ( It is crazy that even in 2021 most people are not in touch with there own kinks)

On the britter side i can solve a rubix cube in under 1 min 😂😂😇

[AKA_Copper]

2 minutes ago, Kobiyashisan said:

Copperknob ❤️ Well spoken . At least at Fet/fet life etc. We can be oure selfs without judgement ( It is crazy that even in 2021 most people are not in touch with there own kinks)

On the britter side i can solve a rubix cube in under 1 min 😂😂😇

Show off!! 😂

[Kobiyashisan]

1 minute ago, CopperKnob said:

Show off!! 😂

😇 lol

[Lostara]

👋🏻👋🏻👋🏻 This is why I'm selective about who I reply to, and how. Well said!

[Deleted Member]

Your so true🧚🏻‍♀️

[Kobiyashisan]

6 minutes ago, Lostara said:

👋🏻👋🏻👋🏻 This is why I'm selective about who I reply to, and how. Well said!

To bad we all have to do that …

[Deleted Member]

Sadly very true thank you for your post

[Leisa]

This resonates. I don’t play unless there’s a real connection. Even then that connection has to have been in place for a bit before play begins. Trust has to be earned and my submission won. I’m a prize to whomever is lucky enough to catch me. Too many are gullible and think that by giving up sex early they will build a deep bond from the beginning. Bonds take time to form but once they do they’re beautiful and worth treasuring. My intimate self is valuable to me and should be equally valuable to him.

[Deleted Member]

it’s saddening seeing this. i haven’t spent as much time on the app as most other guys, but i wouldn’t have expected to find out that other men make these kinds of assumptions :/ it’s pretty simple. just because you enjoy kinks, doesn’t mean you’ll have sex with anyone or want to fuck loads of different people

[ge****]

It's not just this site that men descend on with that perception, nor is it only applied to "kinky" women - having spent many years on a swinging site the perception is applied just as equally there by many men that don't "get" that lifestyle either.

Also whilst I know the dictionary definition of the term slut is a negative/derogatory one I do think, as hinted at in the OP, that it doesn't have to be, and there are women (and indeed men) who consider themselves "sluts" in a positive light and maintain good and decent core values all the same.

The problem though is with those people that misconstrue the term to be about someone being "easy" and not holding those core values, and align to the dictionary definition applying it liberally to all, and expecting all to conform to it - who then spit their dummies when people don't.

[brattamerglasgow]

I actually think people on kink sites are more difficult as we know what we want and we won't settle s d will call bullshit out when we see it

[ey****]

I think people join kink sites for different reasons - but there are some all-too-common tropes

And a lot does come down to the assumption of ease.  Whether this is someone older who has just come out of a long term relationship - and it often feels like he is trying to redeem his ego by picking up some young sub girl; or be picked up by a nice Domme rather than showing an interest.

Or again, the inexperience virgin who feels that everything is so hard and again thinks people into kink will either be easier; or more willing to micromanage via "training"

And some of it feels de ja vous.  And there's always somebody somewhere who feels people should be more welcoming and it's like, they don't really want to learn - they're only here cos they think it's easy.  

[Th****]

Thank you for that Copper, as ever you made that point beautifully. Though I expect nothing less having read your other posts. I think the complexity you speak of is what adds depth and value to your submission when you do find a dominant who you connect with.

Stay fussy and keep writing the excellent posts please! 😁 👍

[Deleted Member]

This right here 100 percent accurate. I couldn’t have said it better myself thankyou

[Ch****]

Very well said 👏 👍

[we****]

Damn, you can write this stuff! Absolutely! Anyone who wants to Dom me better put on their grown-up pants, because I will test your D energy; to destruction if you are a fake/bully/manipulative/abusive. If you can not prove yourself to me, if that’s too difficult or takes too long you are not the person to Dom me. If you can’t do that then how can you possibly expect I could muster the trust to let you make me a cup of tea? Just saying 😁

[Ar****]

Thank you for writing this. I needed the laugh.

Anyways I am thankful to learn how to build slut cred from the best  

 

 

[Deleted Member]

Another very informative post CopperKnob. Very well said 👍🏻💖 I truly hope in particular the “insta-Dom’s” take note 🙌🏻

[nya]

this. is. everything.

[RAMB]

That is very nicely said,i like that,i like a strong woman,i guess i would be considered a new person here but i like spanking to start with i also like a dildo op my ass so i guess i would like pegging also,but i am considered a switch also,so i guess i am strange,i have submissive tendencies but not willing to give up everything to it so i am not a complete sub,i have not found a woman yet to explore things with yet or to possibly train me or one that is good enough to control or worthy enough to do it all i find here yet are more women that are trying to scam me for ***.

[RAMB]

Oh hi nya hahaha

[RosesHaveThorns75]

On 10/31/2021 at 10:02 PM, Leisa said:

This resonates. I don’t play unless there’s a real connection. Even then that connection has to have been in place for a bit before play begins. Trust has to be earned and my submission won. I’m a prize to whomever is lucky enough to catch me. Too many are gullible and think that by giving up sex early they will build a deep bond from the beginning. Bonds take time to form but once they do they’re beautiful and worth treasuring. My intimate self is valuable to me and should be equally valuable to him.

Women have been deliberately taught to misunderstood gender dynamics sexual dynamics and power dynamics in order to keep the status quo because so many agency's including other women and various media propoganda(s) and male relatives have lied to them practically from birth about these life changing subjects 💀😬💀 telling them that behaving in certain ways will work for them and achieve their relationship goals when it's more likely  than not to just lower their value and self-esteem in society and give-up the power to someone else!!! ☹️ Takes a lot of good honest books and educational resources to reverse this trend to realise that men think differently and have a different value system to what we've been taught to imagine it's like!! You can have strong gut reactions that your gender dynamics aren't working out right but it took me years to find the right books to eXplain wth?!? 💀 I'd had to struggle with in my ***s what I was doing that was so dis-empowering and my female relatives were such weak/absent role models that coming from a male dominant household no wonder it was going to hell in a hand-basket 💀💩💀 where it was massively benefiting them they'd be keeping all the secrets and it shows how little they cared about my future 🎃 with no real understanding of what would  actually benefit my female aspects of self and how my own eXpectations and behaviours were not helping me atall!! I wasn't stupid or wanting to disadvantage myself but I'd be "strongly influenced" to do so by the society I was born into to be fair 😯 it takes a lot of determination to change to have correct study and to implement for the longer term!!!