Fucker or Fuckee

[we****]

Don’t know if any of you have seen that thing that is going around at the moment that, speaking from a woman’s point of view, says,
“If he came and you didn’t, you fucked him”
It got me thinking about the language of fucking and how penetrative sex is usually represented as being something that the penetrator, or fucker, does to the penetrated, or fuckee. As a Dom and self acknowledged filthy little fucker, I don’t feel that this really represents all of my experiences of penetrative sex. I am pretty clear on many occasions it was me fucking him, leading the play, controlling the intensity and O, even if I was the one being penetrated. I’ve most certainly been fucked too, but I not sure that the defining factor in determining the fucker and fuckee roles is who shoved something up the other, that is just anatomical co-incidence

[ge****]

I guess it comes down to how semantic you want to be - why does anyone have to be either fucked or fucker? Can two people not just fuck?

Personally I'm not on to place huge importance on me doing the penetrating, although it can be a pleasurable experience, I prefer to enjoy the experience of sex/intimacy as a whole rather than singling out a specific element of it, let it go with the flow and if penetration happens (either way) then it's just a part of it.

[Deleted Member]

I had a lady friend phone me out of the blue one night and say she wanted to fuck me. As a gentleman I didn't refuse :) so in less than an hour she arrived, grabbed my hand, and led me to the bedroom. She stripped off and threw herself on the bed. I simply stood there and watched. When she huffed and asked if I was going to join her I pointed out I was hoping to get wined and dined, seduced, and at the very least I wanted a kiss. I was joking, of course, but the look on her face was priceless. As your article says. the definition of "being fucked" or "fucking someone" is always open to interpretation. Fab post x

[we****]

10 minutes ago, gemini_man said:

I guess it comes down to how semantic you want to be - why does anyone have to be either fucked or fucker? Can two people not just fuck?

Personally I'm not on to place huge importance on me doing the penetrating, although it can be a pleasurable experience, I prefer to enjoy the experience of sex/intimacy as a whole rather than singling out a specific element of it, let it go with the flow and if penetration happens (either way) then it's just a part of it.

Sure, I understand what your saying, and penetration isn’t a prerequisite for me, or the discussion I was trying to raise. My point is more that the language of fucking follows a patriarchal model that, as a woman not following that model, constantly leaves me having to explain myself. Dom or Domme? I don’t belief my dominance is gender related…? But that is the common parlance we use.

[ge****]

6 minutes ago, weaslekit said:

Sure, I understand what your saying, and penetration isn’t a prerequisite for me, or the discussion I was trying to raise. My point is more that the language of fucking follows a patriarchal model that, as a woman not following that model, constantly leaves me having to explain myself. Dom or Domme? I don’t belief my dominance is gender related…? But that is the common parlance we use.

Oh I know it wasn't - was just adding personal observation.

As for your point, it's a valid one, but comes back to my point about why the need for fucker or fuckee/fucked to be distinguished, rather than two people fucking without the need to categorise who did what to who? Which is kind of how I've always thought of it myself. To explain, if I were (which I wouldn't ordinarily) telling friends I'd had sex, I wouldn't say "I fucked " - I'd most likely say "We fucked"

[we****]

3 minutes ago, gemini_man said:

Oh I know it wasn't - was just adding personal observation.

As for your point, it's a valid one, but comes back to my point about why the need for fucker or fuckee/fucked to be distinguished, rather than two people fucking without the need to categorise who did what to who? Which is kind of how I've always thought of it myself. To explain, if I were (which I wouldn't ordinarily) telling friends I'd had sex, I wouldn't say "I fucked " - I'd most likely say "We fucked"

I get it. I can prickly around issues like this. You have a very valid point, I guess I just wonder how many people can make the step from the penetrator being the fucker to the level of equality you are describing. I think we may have talked about this before..?

[ge****]

7 minutes ago, weaslekit said:

I get it. I can prickly around issues like this. You have a very valid point, I guess I just wonder how many people can make the step from the penetrator being the fucker to the level of equality you are describing. I think we may have talked about this before..?

It's a difficult one - personally these days I don't often hear the vernacular that genderises the terms being used - but that could be (a) because I'm a man and (b) because I don't mix in circles where it's likely to arise - am sure it happens though, but can only speak from personal experience/usage (or more to the point "non-usage").

[we****]

8 minutes ago, gemini_man said:

It's a difficult one - personally these days I don't often hear the vernacular that genderises the terms being used - but that could be (a) because I'm a man and (b) because I don't mix in circles where it's likely to arise - am sure it happens though, but can only speak from personal experience/usage (or more to the point "non-usage").

I do appreciate that there are many men who are not pursuing that patriarchal, dare I say misogynistic, narrative. But, as a woman who has always challenged her role in society as well as sex I can be over sensitive

[Deleted Member]

Yes weaslekit, I agree with you. I think the person that's most dominant during penetration is the "fucker" .When a woman is on top of me doing the cowgirl position though and she's riding me aggressively, I look at it as me being "fucked". It does tend to be a very masculine biased thing and it shouldn't be like that. We need to educate everyone to change their views.

[Strengan]

An ex once told me she saw herself as engulfing men when I made that point about penetration so perhaps it is all a matter of positioning lol (unintentional pun).

[VILKDUJA]

Absolutely Weaslekit, what you're saying is right. For example, a couple of weeks back I was enjoying some fun with a neighbour & for some of the time she was bent over the arm of the sofa. Now, I was kneeling behind her & was inside, at some points while in this position she was thrusting & slamming her hips hard back on to me, at those times without a doubt it was her fucking me

[Deleted Member]

&

[Re****]

I personally hate that phrase, fucking. Makes us sound like ***s

[we****]

8 hours ago, Redwinefan2020 said:

I personally hate that phrase, fucking. Makes us sound like ***s

You and me baby, we ain’t nothin’ but mammals 😉

[VILKDUJA]

13 hours ago, Redwinefan2020 said:

I personally hate that phrase, fucking. Makes us sound like ***s

Which biologically we are

Species: Homo Sapien

Family: Hominid

Order: Primates

 

[kerri_kamden]

22 hours ago, Redwinefan2020 said:

I personally hate that phrase, fucking. Makes us sound like ***s

Got some news for this fella…

[Deleted Member]

Provided you both enjoyed, does it matter?

Label yourselves if you feel it necessary but otherwise, enjoyment is the main object surely?