Am i doing something wrong?

[Fa****]

Am i doing something wrong? I like to think that as a submissive when a Dom messages me to chat i am respectful, but also human but the last few weeks i feel i may be getting it wrong? Are there rules? Have i got the etiquette wrong? Any advice would be greatly appreciated as i seem to be getting passed up for someone better more often than not!

[SirPiggy]

I very much doubt you are doing anything wrong, being polite and following etiquette is what should be done.

if a Dom or Domme for that matter cannot at first get to know the real person behind the picture/profile then it's far better to be patient and wait for the right person to come along.

i wouldn't worry if I were you.

[Jed]

My best advice here is talk to Saphy....she will guide you in etiquette and protocol from a sub perspective....her knowledge base is immense in all of the above...but from me the best words of advice I can give you is DON'T LOSE FAITH....have a positive mental approach...what you think about you bring about....negativity breeds negativity!!!!!

Have faith hun.....

[Deleted Member]

14 minutes ago, SirPiggy said:

I very much doubt you are doing anything wrong, being polite and following etiquette is what should be done.

if a Dom or Domme for that matter cannot at first get to know the real person behind the picture/profile then it's far better to be patient and wait for the right person to come along.

i wouldn't worry if I were you.

Your always polite piggy.😘

14 minutes ago, SirPiggy said:

I very much doubt you are doing anything wrong, being polite and following etiquette is what should be done.

if a Dom or Domme for that matter cannot at first get to know the real person behind the picture/profile then it's far better to be patient and wait for the right person to come along.

i wouldn't worry if I were you.

 

[SirPiggy]

4 minutes ago, Takeitlikeaman said:

Your always polite piggy.😘

 

I am Madame.

some people don't like polite though or following etiquette.

i do know that some so called Doms can be very blunt to a point of being ignorant.

[Jed]

Persona of *Dom* can all to often be interpreted in a cold calculated way....it really doesn't need to be and in a lot of cases will detract from the very essence of what the term Dominant is all about...all to often the need to be overtly assertive/controlling will backfire if used inappropriately....its something that needs to be controlled and introduced in phases...hence communication becomes the deriding factor...but for Fairylight these "Dom's" are lacking in etiquette and the base level of good wholesome communication....like all good presents...you take care to peel away the wrapping to reveal the prize!!!!!!

[Fa****]

Thank you for the comments, i dont necessarily think its the Doms lacking in etiquette because as far as i can see they do well with who im passed over for 😂 im pretty sure its something im doing/not doing?  The faith is slowly ebbing away though but until its completely gone im still here, still chatting 😊

[Jed]

Keep the faith hun....

[Deleted Member]

I see the main problem here as first and foremost the need to treat any Interaction as Just getting to know someone and from what I have heard that is sorely lacking. The wade in nature is far too prevalent. And thus the reaction they get if not of there liking they then move on to someone they think they can get it all these own way .these are people that you don't want so don't worry I'm sure the right one will come along patience is the key

[Fa****]

Oh MrC patience is a virtue i lack unfortunately! 😂😂

[Noneofyourb-4293]

Chat too me and see the difference??? I'm a soft DD so maybe that's what you need so you can evaluate the difference... Only trying to help ok x

[IvyVogele]

Unfortunately I've been here, a lot of people coming into this scene tend to be a bit crass; for lack of a better word. There isn't anything wrong with you per se, just their perception on how to start a conversation. I tend to be very sarcastic with these people, striking up a conversation is a varying thing but it shouldn't make you feel like you're doing something wrong. When I first started out I was in your shoes and I went to the person who trained me and asked him and he laughed and told me that those people are way out of their depth and just threw themselves ten paces ahead of where they should be. He told me to just smile and tell them to back up a little and start with a hello. Start out with a Hi/Hello and be civil, pace them if you want to. Nothing's wrong with you, you're just experiencing what everyone else has. Hope this helps.

[Deleted Member]

I think it’s a lot like starting a regular relationship too, not even Domme will want to talk to you. There has to be the right dynamic and feeling for both parties. You might just tick one Dommes particular set of boxes but completely not even register for another. Just a case of finding the right one really. Good luck :)

[Deleted Member]

I completely agree with the above. Lots of conversations appear to start with how ‘bendy’ someone else rather than approaching a sub on a genuine level. I completely understand the need to be honest but sometimes finesse achieves more. True D/s should be about trust. How can you trust someone who starts with ‘I’m nearby let’s f*ck’ 

[Domone999]

That kind of approach is totally unacceptable and disrespectful, a true Dom/Domme will treat you with the utmost respect as Dominance is only born out of you as a submissive choosing to submit to a particular Dom/Domme and then trusting them to use that submission to satisfy both your needs... whether those needs include degradation and at what level is determined through the conversations you have prior to making the choice whether to submit to that particular Dom/Domme or not.

[Deleted Member]

Thank you for saying that. Makes us subs feel better to know that perhaps we’re not totally insane! 

[Domone999]

Not insane at all Ff .... sadly a few alleged Doms let the rest of us down, its ok having a Dominant or subservient personality, its who we are , but its no excuse to trying to inflict that on a total stranger aside from which, no one can claim to be a Dom if they dont treat a potential submissive with total respect from the start as the whole dynamic of a true D/s relationship is built on total trust respect and understanding.

[ca****]

Just to open this up a little bit wider as well.

I think the respect thing is as read - people who understand and 'respect' respect - will naturally show it.  Those that dont or are here purely for other reasons may well not.

I would also say - that there are going to be people who dont quite get the respect thing / low awareness  - maybe have not been around respect (their background and present) -but they may well be able to learn it and find it (lets say). 

So pretty much agree to something I read (skimmed) above (i think) - if someone wades in far too abruptly maybe it is worth stopping them in their tracks and asking them to take a few steps back.....

 

Respect people ;)



 

[Deleted Member]

Thank you all for such considered feedback. 

[Deleted Member]

Remember, there's Dom, Domme and Dominant. A Dominant person like myself isn't always 24/7 that, nor are Dom/s  and Dommes.  It depends if you want immediate  full on Submissiveness or  something leading up to that. Some 'Dom's' can be  full on and show little respect for the Sub. As SirPiggy said it helps to get to know the person a bit first before entering into a Sub/Dom relationship be it Online or in the flesh. Then if  you hit off, you can decide what level of Domination you want

[Deleted Member]

Thank you for such helpful feedback 

[ropes_r_fun]

Any good dom/me should be showing respect its just harder to see some times as it may be they are respecting their subs desire to be degraded or humiliated. 

Sadly there are too many people who read dom/me and hear legitimised bully.

 

 

[PhantomFlogger]

Not every guy who claims to be a Dom is a Dom, some just wanna tell you to suck their dick and show them your tits.. and when you push back they move on. 

Submission is a gift, a true non egotistic Dom will see that, but another Dom may feel its not earned and feel you are being a bit forceful.

Treat your submission like your car keys, give them to someone you trusts and know will not just fuck with your car, many wannabe Doms will just ruin your car, but Doms will help you drive it to places you have never been before, and if you offer your keys to just anyone who says they can drive, then Doms will think youre crazy and dont care about your car..

 

I hope that helps

[Fa****]

@PhantomFlogger i dont drive! 😂

Yes it helps, i have given up the search to be honest, well for now anyway x

[Deleted Member]

You are not doing anything wrong.

You are messaging somebody you don't know on an internet site (or they are messaging you.)

It takes time to decide if there might be the basis to go forward to something more.

Put simply there are a lot of frogs in the world and most of them do not turn into princes. They are just frogs.