Why do people want to Dom?

[scientistxSaturday]

What's the appeal of Dominance and the Dom headspace for you? In what areas of the relationship do you like to apply in and why? Any resources that could explain this for me?

Love you Doms, I'm sometimes one myself, just wanna better understand

[da****]

For me I get mental stimulation out of it, it’s kind of like giving into my Instincts, to have that control over somebody (even tho the sub actually has all the real control)

I think it’s just the nature of testosterone to be the alpha, to take charge

Altho I also like inflicting pain which I guess is a different sense of pleasure for me

Alternatively sometimes I’ll go down the daddy route dependant on my headspace and how caring I am feeling on the day

[RoadHammer1984]

I couldn't have said it better daddyghosty

[Or****]

I love the trust of being given the reigns of a sub. They trust me to tickle their sub bone safely and appropriately so I'm sure to always pay that trust back in kind

[Ki****]

I personally found that over my younger years all i did was fight and wanted to be the dominant one left standing. Over the years now i believe i am immune to inflicted pain to my body. As even being kicked in the bollox doesn't cause any pain. If i was a sub a dom wouldn't ever get any pleasure from inflicting me.. So thats why i am Dominant.

[BadDesires]

I'm more of a switch and my Dom side doesn't get much time to play, but for me I like the idea of taking someones mind, body and soul on a journey. To feed on that trust and for someone to let go and enjoy the ride.

[ca****]

Been dominant all my life didn't realise how much others enjoy being dominated now its a turn on to see if other wannabe doms can actually force their desires onto y submissive side

[DeviantInside]

What do I enjoy about it... that's a little hard to pinpoint. I am naturally dominant (not loud or aggressive, just self assured) and I enjoy being in control generally, so there is almost scertainly an element of that.

However for me I love seeing the effects of what I do on the other person and see how they respond. For example I have explored most things including many of the extremes, but I can only enjoy anything when I know the other person is getting as much or more from it themselves. I can only enjoy my sadistic side with someone who enjoys the pain/pleasure combination, I can only enjoy humiliation with an emotional masochist. I thrill at taking someone to that primal part of themselves where they completely give into everything and let go, seeing it in their eyes, finding their triggers. For me everything is a tool to get to that point. Which means it's completely different with everyone, and I have had as much fun exploring "tamer" things and training newbies as I have exploring the extremes with those who are into those. It's all about the mental side.

As to the dynamic I enjoy most what I have found works for me is a version of 24/7 whereby it's an underlying current, not necessarily played upon at any given moment but that could be at any time.

Edited May 2, 2022 by DeviantInside
Additional thoughts

[Deleted Member]

I think some people interpret "dominance" as a forceful, take whatever I want without regard for you type of thing.

For me, what I enjoy is building trust with you and slowly take down your barriers, and then watch you put yourself more and more in my hands... It's more of a psychological takeover where you let me guide and fulfill your needs. And being able to fulfill that is a major turn on.

[Deleted Member]

4 hours ago, massageTherapist said:

I personally found that over my younger years all i did was fight and wanted to be the dominant one left standing. Over the years now i believe i am immune to inflicted pain to my body. As even being kicked in the bollox doesn't cause any pain. If i was a sub a dom wouldn't ever get any pleasure from inflicting me.. So thats why i am Dominant.

Not all dominants are sadist, and not all submissives are masochists.

[Deleted Member]

4 hours ago, daddyghosty said:

For me I get mental stimulation out of it, it’s kind of like giving into my Instincts, to have that control over somebody (even tho the sub actually has all the real control)

I think it’s just the nature of testosterone to be the alpha, to take charge

Altho I also like inflicting pain which I guess is a different sense of pleasure for me

Alternatively sometimes I’ll go down the daddy route dependant on my headspace and how caring I am feeling on the day

I really can't get on board with what you're saying about the testosterone thing. You do realize that there is a massive amount of female dommes, right? And same with male submissives?

[Invisible71]

I don't consider myself a Dom but I'd like to try and experince what I guess I perceive as a Dom/Sub relationship. 

 

The reason is that whilst I'd always respect boundaries, I love the thought of being there as a sub fulfills her own desires in fulfilling my desires. 

Then to help her on the other side of whatever we were doing, to make sure her needs were taken care of. 

That then would mean that trust is at its greatest and that is vitally important to me and actually one of my top priorities. 

 

I've been here for a few years trying to learn and form.such a dynamic but its never easy to find that right person (so far anyway). 

[da****]

18 minutes ago, MommyDomme8484 said:

I really can't get on board with what you're saying about the testosterone thing. You do realize that there is a massive amount of female dommes, right? And same with male submissives?

Ofcourse I do that’s just my perspective for myself and why I enjoy it, I’m sure it’s different for everyone 😁

[Deleted Member]

I am dominant for a couple reasons. It's not about control for me the same way it is a lot of doms. The control aspect for me is for my protection. I cannot sub anymore due to multiple instances of assault. (Not by a Dom) If I don't have complete control over my body I panic. If my partner acts dominant or assertive, I panic.

The other reason I am a Domme is because it is fulfilling. As you can see from my name, I am a mommy. I take care of my subs as a parental figure would. I am a very nurturing and soft Domme.

[Un****]

The term dom is such a blanket term. Like a can be a very hard dom. That’s literally to get aggression out and also because my partner loves to be in pain.
But also can be a soft, pleasure dom. Because I love watching my partners melt under my fingers. It’s the attention sometimes for me knowing I’m the center of the pleasure. Especially with multiple people. So I guess my personal answer would be everchanging

[Deleted Member]

To me it feels good to have someone willing to give you that much control. I've only done it in situations where trust was already established. I'd almost feel bad if I were a Dom to someone who did not know me. I like the trust given to me.

[je****]

The idea of being allowed to have sexual control.

[je****]

As a man we would like to think that anything to do with sex is up to us, in reality it isn’t, even the D/s dynamic is based on being given the power. In a sense is completely submissive totally predicated on our partners desire and will.

[ca****]

If I look for a dom I expect a sadist with no sympathy or conscience in their actions I expect to be gagged so as not to disturb their pleasure and my screams ignored after all they are my true superior
Would be disappointed with less x

[gr****]

Zombie describes me well. I get a huge ego boost from pleasuring someone by being in control of them. Watching them squirm, beg for more, try to stop and then demand more again. I love that

[J-****]

It is the natural order of things. “Wives, submit yourselves to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord.” Col 3:18

[sc****]

The brain is complicated and also the biggest sex organ

[ba****]

I love making my partner get all flustered and desperate. I think they look adorable and it makes me feel powerful.

[Sh****]

16 hours ago, BadDesires said:

I'm more of a switch and my Dom side doesn't get much time to play, but for me I like the idea of taking someones mind, body and soul on a journey. To feed on that trust and for someone to let go and enjoy the ride.

To me its the trust and intimacy surrounding it. For the sub to give herself completly, discovering new boundaries than she did before, discovering it together gives a meaning I havent experienced in vanille relationships. And I had both.

[Al****]

I am a Gentleman Dom and for me it is 24/7. I enjoy giving her direction in public as well as in public. In the past few months I have grown a lot as a Dom. The lady I have pushes me as well as me pushing her. We both grown and learn together