Why do people want to Dom?

[Mi****]

While most think being a Dom is for the power and ego, for Me it’s about gaining the control to give my submissive pleasure. She would never have the explosive orgasms she enjoys if I wasn’t in the position to tease her and deny her for a week before finally nodding my head up and down.

[No****]

For me I think it comes from a place of insecurity and the need to feel powerful and wanted

[pu****]

I want to be a pleasure Dom. I enjoy watching a partner give in to their orgasm. I also enjoy extended play sessions. It seems to me that putting that and my intrinsic playfulness together would be a good combination. It feels like I'm giving a gift when I can provide multiple orgasms. I'd like to become more proficient at it.

[No****]

May 2, DeviantInside said:

What do I enjoy about it... that's a little hard to pinpoint. I am naturally dominant (not loud or aggressive, just self assured) and I enjoy being in control generally, so there is almost scertainly an element of that.

However for me I love seeing the effects of what I do on the other person and see how they respond. For example I have explored most things including many of the extremes, but I can only enjoy anything when I know the other person is getting as much or more from it themselves. I can only enjoy my sadistic side with someone who enjoys the ***/pleasure combination, I can only enjoy *** with an emotional masochist. I thrill at taking someone to that primal part of themselves where they completely give into everything and let go, seeing it in their eyes, finding their triggers. For me everything is a tool to get to that point. Which means it's completely different with everyone, and I have had as much fun exploring "tamer" things and training newbies as I have exploring the extremes with those who are into those. It's all about the mental side.

As to the dynamic I enjoy most what I have found works for me is a version of 24/7 whereby it's an underlying current, not necessarily played upon at any given moment but that could be at any time.

I couldn’t have articulated my own response better than you did! “Ditto” 👌

[No****]

May 2, Deleted profile said:

Not all dominants are sadist, and not all submissives are masochists.

But have you found that a majority of doms are sadistic or completely random?

[CanadianFlannel]

Honestly a good part of it has always been a part of my personality and sensuality for as long as I can remember, and the other part of it is my personal need for a sense of control of things in my life.

That being said, I have been a caregiver since I was a young child, and helped raise my younger brother since I could remember while taking care of family members and later friends who fell on hard times, while sexually I have honestly always been more into having the ability to give a partner multiple orgasms and essentially controlling those orgasms than in having one myself.

[sexwith-aghost13]

For me, the appeal of dominance is having someone so eager to see you and be affectionate. To have someone rely on you can be stressful but it is definitely very worth it, I love having someone know they can depend on me :) Building trust and affection with someone from a dominants stand point is a good feeling. I enjoy being mostly dominant in everyday life things more so than the bedroom but I enjoy being a dominant sub as well sometimes if that makes sense lol

My favorite part about being dominant in the bedroom is the aftercare, I am a "soft" Dom I guess you could say so I enjoy more so soft touches and cuddles but I can still enjoy *** and bruising ;)

[DD****]

You get what you want , nothing more or less. Rules are followed to the T. It's a safe way for people like me who were victims to shit when younger. This is a way to safely control that situation and still have fun.

[Deleted Member]

On 5/2/2022 at 12:05 AM, scientistxSaturday said:

What's the appeal of Dominance and the Dom headspace for you? In what areas of the relationship do you like to apply in and why? Any resources that could explain this for me?

Love you Doms, I'm sometimes one myself, just wanna better understand

I find power exchange via ***fully inducing sensation highly erotic. I find the trust a woman gives me by making herself *** to me highly erotic. I find her doing that out of a love and commitment to me highly erotic.

I'm by no means a "lifestyler", my kink is confined to private time between me and the woman I'm in a relationship with and is limited to the bedroom(mostly :p).