Femdom seeking advice for potential new slave

[Deleted Member]

Hi

So my previous relationship is when I discovered I liked to dominate my boyfriend and make him my slave, I've only recently heard of the term Femdom.

I used to bond and gag him, verbally humiliate him and leave him while I chilled out, I really liked to peg him and got intense sexual satisfaction from this.

The only problem is that he would never fully subjugate himself to me by allowing me to be in control of when he came, ultimately undermining my authority which was a turn off.

I would command him to fuck me only when I wanted it and told him exactly how to I wanted it or he would have to stop.

Now I'm single and met with someone for the first time since the breakup, I have known him for years and I have felt we have always had a great chemistry with similar interests and I think he's very attractive.

He told me he likes to be dominated with high heels and cigarettes, I was not aware of this particular facet of BDSM being very naive to online communities etc regarding this and watched some porn of it after he left, i found it very sexy.

After he told me I shared with him that I liked to dominate and have done so in the past but didn't go into specifics into exactly what I liked.

I was in a sexless relationship for years with the ex before we finally broke up, feeling unwanted and unattractive for long took it's toll.

But finding out that this person who I've had a crush on for years is into being a submissive has reignited my desire to dominate once again.

I don't know if he even likes me sexually but I like to fantasise about the things I would do to him

I need tips on smoking and high heel+pvc fetish, like I say, I watched some pretty good porn but prefer to get tried and tested advice from those who like it firsthand, if only to fuel my fantasies.

[ge****]

Not sure what "advice" you are looking for to be honest - but the best thing you can do is discuss with this new partner and get an understanding of what he wants/likes and let him know what you do too, and take it from there.
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I'd also take any porn you have watched with a pinch of salt - it's mostly not overly realistic and is designed to "fuel fantasies" but then if that is all you are looking for here.

[Deleted Member]

Talk to him, find out truly what he desires, and put your own twist on things.

[ey****]

It sounds like he has a little more potential than the first - but... 

I wouldn't want to make assumptions on smoking, heels, pvc, etc.

For example.... smoking.... he might just like to watch you smoke, or.... he might like smoke blown in his face, he might like human ashtray, he might like cigarette torture - and these are all wildly different things (myself I'm into human ashtray but the only place to stub a cigarette is in my mouth)

Heels - again, does he just like to see you in them or does he want to worship, if he wants to worship.. clean or dirty? does he want to be kicked or trampled by these heels?

PVC - again, does he like you in them - or does he want to lick, worship, whatever.

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I mean even if he just likes the look - there's ways to incorporate it... like imagine if he was tied to a chair while you sit across the room power dressed, seductively smoking...

[Pe****]

Is your end goal to mould him into a slave? I ask because this is your headliner and it doesn’t seem to match the content of the post. If you like him and see the potential in his character to be shaped into your gem, then it’s better to have an open discussion about this end goal right from the get go. By establishing that, you can move past the awkwardness of “oh I’ve never done that before” conversations with him to the “if you’re a good boy then I’ll consider rewarding you with that in the future”.