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Advice please :)


bi****

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Posted
Want a bit of advice really
Im a newish sub and I have a mistress who’s also new to the scene. I Was just wanting to know how I can be the best sub I can be really, I’m used to having control and such with my professional life so letting it all go and letting someone else tell me exactly what to do is a bit of a change but I love it! Any help would be great.

Thank you :)
Posted
Ask her what her wants are. Let her know you like it when she approves of things you do. Let her know how much you want to please her.
Posted
You just have to listen to your mistress exactly what she says. No argue or doubt her decisions.
Posted
I think it's important to know as specifically as possible what you are wanting to feel like as a sub, as well as knowing what your mistress is wanting to get out of being a mistress and thinking and talking those things together.
Posted
Depends on what kind of sub you want to be? Do you want to be bratty do you want to listen to every order? I recommended reading "The New Bottoming Book" Janet W. Hardy.
Posted
You could also research sub poses to approach and greet your mistress in different ways and mean different things to you personally
Posted
Anticipate her needs. Keep quiet until prompted. Do things that aid her without asking. When you're admonished, listen with the intent to do better.
Posted
The best advice I ever got. “In a relationship. Trust is important. You build trust by being honest. Respectful. And clear communications. Be honest with yourself. Know your limits. Know what you want to try. Know that as the sub you have the control as you get to stop play with the safe word at anytime. The brakes are yours as is the gas. The Master/Mistress drives the relationship. It’s a partnership. Honesty doesn’t mean lack of self. Or secrets. Sometimes the honest answer is “I don’t want to share that at this time.”
Posted
Be honest communication and trust , the advice above is great , I can provide you a copy of the poses if you like , take the time dnt rush into anything with out doing research on it . Attend munches and fettish party’s to do networking to further assistance in learning
Lord_Talion
Posted
Tell her you want training and you're willing to pay someone else to do the hard work for her
Posted

being the best.... for her... is possibly going to be different than being the best.... for someone else.

So there is probably not going to be any 'one size' answers.

But

Being "the best" is rarely about doing everything you are told.   Among anything else that creates more work for your Dominant as they end up doing more micromanaging (or you don't do something "cos she didn't say") and feeding back what you don't feel is working is good, equally helping give her direction and support.

There are new subs (and new Dominants) who sometimes end up going down a route of something they don't enjoy because they think it is expected of them - this is something important for you both to communicate as you explore together.

A lot depends on what she wants, but rather than awaiting commands or doing what you're told - a way to be a better sub is often to pre-empt needs and doing things for her - before/without being asked.   

If there is something she enjoys or would benefit from, can you learn how to do it better - this could be anything from learning how to cook, to learning how to give massages.   

But also... a good sub would make sure they themselves are in a good place to help their Mistress, including concentrating on doing well in working life, eating healthy and getting good rest.  

Posted
YouTube would be a good place to start. Elle x and elvie lupine provide some good information
Posted
Ask her what sends her to “domme space” and be aware of that, communicate with your domme and let her know she s a good domme and that you’re proud to be her submissive.
  • 4 weeks later...
Posted
Relay the way you feel to her, don't let your domme talk you into doing anything you don't feel like doing. Remember you are a human being, not someone's plaything.
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