Most people are kinky.

[Deleted Member]

Yes or no??? Because I only found out I was kinky last year. Yet I've been doing all the kink since I was 18... just not with the labels. And I am convinced most "vanilla" relationships involve face sitting, restraint or cuffs for fun, trampling various power games etc. So what do you reckon? Are we just a collection of label junkies and extremists? 😜

[Lo****]

To be fair most girls in my area don’t do any of that which is a huge let down, but I feel like most are kinky deep down so, yes

[do****]

I’m honestly not sure on that answer. I think there really are those real life vanilla people and they have never experienced anything but missionary sex lol. I knew I was kinky a LONG time ago and I think it’s amazing, I keep exploring and adding to my list! 😈

[ey****]

I feel that - more people enjoy activities we might consider kinky than is given credit for

it's why sometimes I see folk where I don't mean to sound mean when I suggest they try mainstream dating sites (i.e. "I am not a submissive or into pain, I just have a foot fetish" - ok so find a nice girlfriend and kiss her feet after sex and rub her feet after a long day) 

I think some elements of kink are more mainstream - but of course, a lot is not - and maybe more people are quiet about it in their private lives

which, again, I believe a lot of people are somewhat kinky in private lives without being into any form of formal D/s

[gr****]

A lot of people have kinks and do not realize they do.

[ch****]

I wouldn't say label junkies but more people who are in touch and embrace our kinks the "labels" just help us identify possible partners so they know what they are getting them self's into and it's not just like a surprise.

[Gr****]

I agree with the idea that we all have our kinks but some may never find theirs. I knew I was a kinky girl when I was young but never had the experiences until much much older. I feel like if someone really knows what they want, need or crave and aren't afraid to express those feelings an explore their deeper sensual beings their lives will be happier. Human bodies are created for exploration... Incredibly sensitive but sometimes bulletproof. I hope to help younger women live more fulfilled sex lives and to speak up.

[Le****]

Good topic...I "reckon" most vanilla folks don't know what they like, or at least they don't or won't admit it to themselves. The freedom of expression in the kink world, is what opens our eyes to ourselves. And once our eyes are opened...boom!

[Deleted Member]

Naw, we’re just humans with some crazy and wild wants, needs and desires 🤷🏼‍♂️ so just be yourself and everything you want it to be 🤪

[Gi****]

Face sitting is kinky?

[Deleted Member]

Yeah I think we’re obsessed with labels. Human sexuality is a spectrum- we have experiences and moods which change as we do and depending who and what we’re exposed to.

IMO kink is a deliberate/intentional manipulation of mind and body to enhance pleasure, and vanilla sex lives aren’t so explicit about these intentions when they take part in such activities.

[Deleted Member]

Yes I believe so

[es****]

Honestly everybody's got some sort of kink whether it's squirting facesitting or harder stuff like cutting whipping most people don't want to admit that they're kinky as f*** but they are

[do****]

5 minutes ago, es721 said:

Honestly everybody's got some sort of kink whether it's squirting facesitting or harder stuff like cutting whipping most people don't want to admit that they're kinky as f*** but they are

Agree. Many people don’t want to admit the kinky side, but shit. I embrace it!

[Ki****]

I think so lol

[le****]

Ive been kinky all my life lol. Well from like teens onwards

[ge****]

I think the answer to that lies in the definition of what "kinky" is - and that's a very subjective thing.
.
For some it will be doing it with the lights on or for any reason other than pro-creation, to use an extreme, for others it will be some *very* extreme activities, with a whole range of "kink" in between.
.
So to an extent everyone (except those that purely use sex for pro-creation) has a "kink" of some kind - it's just some of us have more definition to our own personal kinks than others.

[ey****]

6 hours ago, Gimberu said:

Face sitting is kinky?

like a lot of things - some things are going to be subjective.

But.   When some people say face sitting they mean Cunnilingus which is fairly mainstream and most people would consider to be vanilla

If, maybe, this is done as Queening - this can be heading towards kink territory. But....

Within face sitting I would genuinely associate it as being as breath play / smothering.   the sittee does not have to be even partially naked to do this (some materials can be harsher than others) - breath play is something which probably wouldn't fall under vanilla particularly as it's a form of edge play.

 

[Ba****]

I met someone on a vanilla site and in my profile put "I dont like vanilla" as a way highlighting i was kink friendly, so I meet someone kink friendly. Anyway long story short we met and after some discussion she thought I meant vanilla flavouring 😁 had never heard the term vanilla and well wasn't at all kinky lol. So I guess everyone has a different idea of what they call kinky, maybe thats based on what they consider taboo which will be different from what the next person considers taboo etc. That said 50 shades etc have normalised it so compared to 10 years ago people are alot more open to things than they once were

[ey****]

Elsewhere there was a question about the line between kink and vanilla - and I think this is something where - everyone will have their own opinions on where that line is.
And it can be, changeable.

Particularly in how society in general changes.

Some elements of kink are a little bit more mainstream and I won't say this is a bad thing - but it's probably easier to approach a partner about some elements of kink.

Having wrists tied and blindfolded during sex is arguably - light bondage and sensory deprevation.

Certainly a couple suggesting trying spanking or flogging is not ridiculous - and even anal toys you can buy from mainstream stores now.

Because of that. There's a lot of people who are enjoying some degree of kink in their relationship without needing to join sites like this. Without needing to go to munches, or events.

Mind, of course, some do when they find there is more they're interested in exploring.

50 Shades... gets a lot of stick and a lot of that is fair, but one thing I did do is bring conversations into lots of people's households and introduced some level of kink into relationships that didn't exist, perhaps an idea to try or that one or the other was always afraid to raise it.

Of course, it did lead a lot of people (particularly single men) to sites like this to try to "get in on the action" and that was a clusterf**k at times - but - like anything, some newbies go the distance and some unlocks a potential.

So, yep, I think a lot more people are kinkier than we know about - and also I think there still isn't quite the level of understanding and acceptance to allow others to speak up about their kinks or interests.
 

[Deleted Member]

I agree that most people are kinky, however determining what you like is apart of sexual nature. So, honestly, being a kinkster and being sexually active ("vanilla" or like thereof) go hand in hand. The only difference begins to stem from the vulgarity/sigma that it incites.

[Bm****]

I believe we are all kinky or have kinks. We just hide and don't want to admit it or tell anyone.

[ch****]

My philosophy is Can you push kinky like mathematics! Just my thing , or shred on guitar?