I want to be a slave, but..

[AnxiousSlave]

I don't know how to ask without making it weird so I'm done trying to fulfil my needs with people I know. I don't like the club idea because I don't particularly shine in social situations and it would be even harder for me to work up the courage there. I'm willing to pay, but I want to find a genuinely cruel mistress that can actually break me. All advice is greatly appreciated.

[Fimus]

The most important advice if you are new is this: do NOT ask to be "broken". Go find a professional and sit down with her (or him) and have a good talk about. True professionals will soon explain why you do not just "want to be broken" until you get more experience

[Deleted Member]

Hi have a look at the personsal ads to see if there are any doms advertulising they want a slave or sub if so message them. If not look at the local munches or events near you and go meet there to see if anyones available. Finally have a think what you want and post your own ad any suitable dons who are interested will message you. Good luck

[Deleted Member]

Just as Fimus has said, there's a big difference between a proper Dom and then someone taking advantage of the power play. A rough guy or woman who knows how to pretend to be strong isn't a Dom or Domme. A sub/slave doesn't need breaking or training to the extreme. They need talking to in a relaxed and adult manner and discussing what they are interested in and starting from there. It's all about discovery, not literally breaking you until you give in. To find a good Dom/Domme/Master/Mistress, look for someone who cares about you as a human and shows that just as much as their Dom side. There's a lot of emotional and physical abuse sadly in this community, and it's all too easy to come awfully close to that edge without realising it. So have respect for yourself, and know you deserve just as much respect as them. It's just shown differently.

[ey****]

remember that being a slave has very little to do with "your" needs (but not nothing at all)

the problem you start with is, particularly guys, have this slave fantasy and it causes women to either roll their eyes or risk taking advantage.

if you're also not willing to do club/public then this massively decreases your pool from those interested in BDSM.  

Ask yourself how you see this Owner/slave relationship playing out.

There are many many fierce professionals - but if you as an unknown express little experience and a lot of willing then what ends up happening is the good ones see you as another fantasist and timewaster and you again risk encounters with the more reckless.

And that isn't what you want - if you think your idea of 'broken' is to be struck full force in the kidney with a cane - which is what you risk by being slapdash - then - honestly, go away - learn about the lifestyle and then come back when you've a bit more idea of what you actually want.

Otherwise - pay a pro or two, see if there's any you feel you get a good connection to and go back to them a couple of times - the more you go back the more easier you will find it to be open about your desires and ambitions and the more confidence She will have in you to give them you.

Good luck.

[Sascha360]

I'm interested