General questions I have as a sub

[DemonicVampire666]

Is it normal for a sub to be into knifeplay, ***play, being bitten, attracted to sadists? 

Men that have a primal sexual energy that are a sadist are attractive to me.

As a sub I like it when a Dom inspires my imagination first, before being sexual or engaging in BDSM/kinks/Fetishes. 

Why are men obsessed with women using sex toys? Or pushy about sex in general?

In my opinion not all men are understanding of women that are sexually repressed, inexperienced, shy about sex/not used to sex or if they are a self-destructive masochist they are unwilling or unable to be compassionate, understanding at all. They lack empathy. 

I have no experience using sex toys & no interest in using them either, I prefer *** related kink (there are specific kinks that i'm into, not used to a man being gentle, kind, compassionate, affectionate etc) 

Unfortunately the Dd/lg relationships i've had & a Master-slave relationship I tried to make work were abusive in various ways. 

(I live with my family so I exactly have privacy)

I am a masochist, but I can be self-destructive. BDSM for me is the***utic & aftercare would be comforting. 

[JA****]

It sounds to me like you've come across some disrespectful people or people who didn't know your boundaries. There are good Doms out there 😊 as for what's normal for a sub- to me whatever feels normal or pleasurable for you is normal. What I like as a sub may not be what other subs are into etc x

[Deleted Member]

There are just as many responsible sadists as there are jerks. You should always state your limits to any Dom you play with. You should always have a safe word with any Dom you play with. That is in your control. Any Dom that don't respect this is a Dom you should not be with. There is much more in your posting that requires future conversations to sort out. If you would like to talk further with a very experienced Dominant Sadist please get in touch. I think you have either been working on wrong information regarding bdsm or you have not been trained by a proper Dom. Be safe!!! I hope I have helped in some small way.

[BlessingOfChaos]

###Is it normal for a sub to be into knifeplay, ***play, being bitten, attracted to sadists?

Absolutely, I don't see any problems with having preferences, some will only date red heads, some like small feet... Everyone has a preference. You are just finding out yours!

###Why are men obsessed with women using sex toys? Or pushy about sex in general?

Some view kink as a direct link to sex. And as such like to punish partners in sexual ways, or think that all play is a route to sexual gratification. This is not the standard for everyone! Some do not like mixing kink and sex AT ALL, and truly see kink as a release, or a space to be little, or subservient. It does NOT have to lead to sexual desire.

###Unfortunately the Dd/lg relationships i've had & a Master-slave relationship I tried to make work were abusive in various ways.

I'm honestly sorry to hear that. The kink community can sometimes draw those in looking to manipulate, or those who just see it as an easy way to get sex. But it's honestly not that to all of them. I am lucky enough to be surrounded by very happy kink relationships some of which have been going for 15+ years. It can definitely happen and a right play partner is out there for you somewhere.

Wishing you well on your journey x

[Matttster]

One of the things I think kink is about is that it does not matter what is “normal”. And the things you are describing are far from abnormal in kink.

The thing is you have to find a partner that is into enough similar things as you to make it work. There can be compromised, all relationships have those, but there must be enough common ground to start with.

Regarding men being pushy about using sex toys or pushy about sex in general, I assume that may be fairly common, many people focus on sex.

I would suggest trying to establish that emotional connection you like “inspires your imagination first” as well as earning your respect and trust before establishing a physical relationship (sadist/masochist or sexual).

When it comes to understanding a partner, be it sexually repressed/inexperienced/shy or whatever the person may be, I would suggest establishing this prior to engaging in the sexual activity. It is all part of earning your respect and trust.

One of the things that makes a good relationship is honesty and openness. So you need to be open and honest about your expectations and desires as well as establish boundaries (hard and soft limits or limits and boundaries or whatever you want to refer to it as).