Offended by requesting STD testing?

[ey****]

13 minutes ago, gemini_man said:

HSV-2 testing is only possible if you present with symptoms as in the blisters that present and ideally when they have burst - not sure if it's a funding issue or technical reasons or possibly even the prevalence of HSV,

Even privately you can't test for HSV-2 without symptoms. 

[Deleted Member]

1 minute ago, eyemblacksheep said:

how ? in what way? what do you propose?

I posed a question (hence question mark). I'm not proposing anything... never been to an event or munch before.

[Deleted Member]

6 minutes ago, gemini_man said:

Some do - the Bi Night I used to attend at a club regularly had the Terrence Higgins Trust in attendance to test - am aware of other clubs/events that have had similar too.
.
Thing is though you don't get results there and then, they need to be analysed and usually take a week to ten days to come through. So while it was nice to have them there, it served no immediate purpose.

Ah okay, so good fit, but not a complete solution either.

[ge****]

10 minutes ago, eyemblacksheep said:

Even privately you can't test for HSV-2 without symptoms. 

That's what I originally thought until it came up on a recent thread and when I investigated further Superdrug "appeared" to offer one - however having just re-read it's actually poorly worded (probably deliberately to sell their testing) and they don't.
.
So I stand corrected and go back to my original understanding. Doffing of cap seems in order at this point 🙂

[ey****]

3 minutes ago, Shirt-n-Tie-Boy said:

I posed a question (hence question mark). I'm not proposing anything... never been to an event or munch before.

Ah ok - I wondered if you had something in mind.

So;

STI tests generally consist of, at minimum

- a urine test

- a *** test

but for a lot of people they might also include

- anal swab

- throat swab

- vaginal swab

depending on what type of sex you do and with who

I get the urine, *** and anal swab - because anything goes near your bum at all, they take no chances

I have had the throat in the past but the last two nurses both felt there was little value given that real cocks don't go in my mouth

--

In order for these to be conducted there would need to be a sterile area and of course privacy.

Most munches are held in public bars - so - can't really take over a Wetherspoons with a pop up STI clinic.

--

In terms of events it would depend on the venue on what may or may not be possible but there's then two lines from here

The first is that it would need NHS staff.  This is something which requires resource and a risk assessment. A resource is going to be limited given that the clinics are struggling right now as is

The second is to bring in staff from a private clinic.  The basic tests costs £395 and that is for urine and *** only, each swab carries an additional cost.   

In both cases of course there is no on site lab, so it's then going to need to be sent away for results.   In most parts of the country the turn around is around 7-10 days.

Dean St in London can return some results the same day if you have an early appointment.   Certainly last time I went there my appointment was 9 and I had non ***s back for 11 and and ***s back for 5pm, but they do have a lab on site.

But also.  Most fetish events cannot permit penetrative sex anyway due to licensing laws - bringing little value.   There is probably more value in swingers events; many of which do work with local health providers as of course there's more likely to be value.

--

I was at an adult industry event last December where there were stands promoting PreP - but this is something both for the benefit not only for gay performers but also for producers to end discrimination against gay performers.   

[ge****]

30 minutes ago, Shirt-n-Tie-Boy said:

Ah okay, so good fit, but not a complete solution either.

And there won't ever be a complete solution - likewise with any kind of testing whether it be at an event, done at a clinic or at home - the test is only as good as the moment it is taken and doesn't account for sex had for at least 4 weeks beforehand or any sex had after the test.
.
The only sexual health you can 100% rely on is your own based on what sexual activity you've had and the risks you have taken.
.
Which is why I say asking to see someone else's results is effectively worthless other than to prove they were negative at that moment in time based on how their body was at that moment in time - the same person could repeat the same test the day after and be positive.

[ey****]

I was involved in a long discussion on this the other day and - basically - the only day your results are valid for are the day of the test and even then it doesn't include any possible incubation periods.

So this is when trust and common sense comes into things.

Obviously if you are embarking on a wholly mono relationship the risk is likely to be 0 on an ongoing basis.  

[dr****]

It is required you refuse I walk away immediately

[DarkArts1066]

I always test before enterering into anything with a new play partner - or partner for that matter, and I don’t think it is unreasonable, given I’ve offered that particular olive branch, to expect that the new potential play partner would agree to do the same - preferably without me re question that they do so.
We are here for a reason… intimate contact - however that may look to you, with another human being.
Caution is prudent.

If someone disagrees with having a test… or is noticeably anxious or agitated about it, then I will most likely (politely) step away.
Chances are they have something to hide.

Why would you not want to be certain..?

[na****]

Maybe just try safe sex 🤷🏼‍♀️

[ey****]

9 minutes ago, naughtynat said:

Maybe just try safe sex 🤷🏼‍♀️

I think definitely something which should be encouraged - especially as no amount of testing can prevent the greatest STI of all : pregnancy

but - even safe sex has a good risk of transmission if one or the other is infected especially if blow jobs or anal sex is involved without use of a condom.   Hell, even a handjob without a condom carries an STI risk 

[Deleted Member]

5 minutes ago, eyemblacksheep said:

Hell, even a handjob without a condom carries an STI risk 

The risk is reduced and somewhat mitigated by wearing gloves. Maybe the future is being PPE'd up. 

[ey****]

12 minutes ago, Shirt-n-Tie-Boy said:

The risk is reduced and somewhat mitigated by wearing gloves. Maybe the future is being PPE'd up. 

glove fetishists - their time is now! 

 

[na****]

The greatest STI of all, being pregnancy 🤔 Apologies, have I misread that?

Then isn’t the answer to wear a condom with oral or anal🤷🏼‍♀️

I do agree, nothing is one hundred percent in life.

It’s a case of open communication and being sensible with a new partner surely, regard of the scene you’re into.

[na****]

38 minutes ago, eyemblacksheep said:

I think definitely something which should be encouraged - especially as no amount of testing can prevent the greatest STI of all : pregnancy

but - even safe sex has a good risk of transmission if one or the other is infected especially if blow jobs or anal sex is involved without use of a condom.   Hell, even a handjob without a condom carries an STI risk 

Apologies guys. My last response was to this comment. I’m fairly certain women would not consider pregnancy as an STI…

[ey****]

to tidy a bit

obviously no amount of STI checks is going to prevent pregnancy and so shouldn't be a substitute for practicing safe sex 

there is a good point you raise in the sense that a lot of STI risk can be mitigated with safe sex and again it feels like it's mostly men who are pushing partners to be tested which then asks me the question if this is for wider mitigation or if it is because they are going to be pushing for sex without a condom

This being something which then puts the burden of contraception onto the woman - and that of course - if you've sent your partner to the clinic cos she once had sex then yeah, you're probably not going to catch an STI from her - but she can still get pregnant : whether planned or otherwise.

I do think it is good more people are taking STI testing seriously, especially if they are indulging in hook up sex/play or have multiple partners or so on 

I guess for example... if a guy says "I want you to go to a clinic to be tested" and the lady goes "OK, but you must always wear a condom during sex" which way that is going to go. 

[Deleted Member]

3 hours ago, naughtynat said:

Apologies guys. My last response was to this comment. I’m fairly certain women would not consider pregnancy as an STI…

I don't think men would consider pregnancy a STI either.

[DarkArts1066]

I think both gemini_man and eyemblacksheep are on point here.

SH24 - easy to order a test - easy to do the test (unless you are seriously squeamish about needles - although you can’t actually see the little beastie.) and results are back double quick.

Dean St is excellent, and very very quick if you are in at the right time.

naughtynat - safe sex - YES. Especially if you are entertaining multiple partners, or new to the scene, or unsure about a potential partner in ANY way.
However, where do you stop if you are going to rely on barrier protection ?

Condoms for Vaginal and Anal sex, dental dams or condoms for oral, posh wanks ?

In for a penny in for a pound - if you are “no glove, no love”?

I was a casual observer at a dogging gangbang a few years back at DD just outside Brighton. Young girl, early twenties, older guy… about fif*** other guys present.

All was well managed.
The only thing I questioned was that for vaginal or anal penetration, she(they) insisted on condoms…. Yet she was happily sucking the guys off and letting them cum in her mouth.
When at the end of the night I spoke to them as they were clearing off, I questioned their choices.
The answer was “well I don’t swallow”

Now - I know that there is more chance of winning the lottery, a than someone turning up to a dogging meet with a current STI certificate…. It’s a bit of a poor comparison in that respect. But there was a lack of education there about STI’s.
She clearly thought that, after a couple of hours of mouth action, a quick gargle with listerine was going to make all the nasties go away.
I thought about commenting further, but decided against. It seemed pointless at 3am.

[na****]

4 hours ago, eyemblacksheep said:

to tidy a bit

obviously no amount of STI checks is going to prevent pregnancy and so shouldn't be a substitute for practicing safe sex 

there is a good point you raise in the sense that a lot of STI risk can be mitigated with safe sex and again it feels like it's mostly men who are pushing partners to be tested which then asks me the question if this is for wider mitigation or if it is because they are going to be pushing for sex without a condom

This being something which then puts the burden of contraception onto the woman - and that of course - if you've sent your partner to the clinic cos she once had sex then yeah, you're probably not going to catch an STI from her - but she can still get pregnant : whether planned or otherwise.

I do think it is good more people are taking STI testing seriously, especially if they are indulging in hook up sex/play or have multiple partners or so on 

I guess for example... if a guy says "I want you to go to a clinic to be tested" and the lady goes "OK, but you must always wear a condom during sex" which way that is going to go. 

I understand your point, but it is 2022. Why is the issue of pregnancy a burden on just the woman? There are two of you participating in the act. It’s simple, if you don’t want to impregnate a woman, take responsibility and ensure you don’t.

It is a case of trust and communication with your partner/ dynamic. As adults I’m sure we are aware of the consequences of unsafe sex…

[Deleted Member]

There are options out there, I would encourage guys to look into myone condoms that take exact measurements to make sure you have a nice fit, ultra ribbed condoms are very nice. For oral there are flavored condoms and dental dams all though I’ve preferred all natural with that. I contracted an STD with a years long monogamous relationship or so I thought. Now I require testing with any partner. If anyone thinks a condom is uncomfortable or Unpleasurable having to be treated and managing an std is far worse. Oh and as a last result there are female condoms as well.

[ey****]

15 minutes ago, naughtynat said:

I understand your point, but it is 2022. Why is the issue of pregnancy a burden on just the woman? There are two of you participating in the act. It’s simple, if you don’t want to impregnate a woman, take responsibility and ensure you don’t.

this is important - absolutely.

We could go off a bit here, but... men should take more responsibility when it comes to birth control - but too many do push it onto the woman.  We know that there are men who will pressure their partners into unprotected sex and this is before we get into things like stealthing.  This is something of course where the risk to the man is STIs (something he has mitigated if he has made her go for a test) but if she falls pregnant and it is unplanned then there is no certainty he will stick around and literally leave her holding the baby; or, insist she keeps it regardless of her own opinions which has a whole heap of problems that goes with that.

It's then of course really important that safe sex is implemented in addition to any other STI measures - in order to minimise the risk of pregnancy unless they both want to have a child together.

 

[ey****]

38 minutes ago, DarkArts1066 said:

Dean St is excellent, and very very quick if you are in at the right time.

Last time I was in and out 10 minutes, first results in a couple of hours - bam

 

[Deleted Member]

16 minutes ago, naughtynat said:

Why is the issue of pregnancy a burden on just the woman?

It isn't and I'd say it doesn't have to be a burden on anyone. Is only a burden if seen that way. When I got pregnant even though was unplanned I was quite delighted and excited.

[na****]

33 minutes ago, eyemblacksheep said:

this is important - absolutely.

We could go off a bit here, but... men should take more responsibility when it comes to birth control - but too many do push it onto the woman.  We know that there are men who will pressure their partners into unprotected sex and this is before we get into things like stealthing.  This is something of course where the risk to the man is STIs (something he has mitigated if he has made her go for a test) but if she falls pregnant and it is unplanned then there is no certainty he will stick around and literally leave her holding the baby; or, insist she keeps it regardless of her own opinions which has a whole heap of problems that goes with that.

It's then of course really important that safe sex is implemented in addition to any other STI measures - in order to minimise the risk of pregnancy unless they both want to have a child together.

 

I agree yes.

[di****]

If you’re offended by this, it’s a very hard no from me. It’s not a big deal, just do it