A broken hearted subs warning

[lo****]

Two months ago I met someone I thought was amazing. He listened, he treated me like a person first and sub second. We flirted, we sexted and we shared some of our most intimate hopes and fears. Or at least I did. Friday this week I found out it was all a lie.

Here’s a warning to protect your heart.

He had asked for exclusivity from the beginning and I happily gave it because I don’t date multiple people at once. We set up rules and protocols and we both deleted our dating app accounts. I actually couldn’t figure out how to delete my Fet account for some reason the app didn’t give me the option. I told him this but that I had deactivated it. He said he had deleted his.

For two months we talked throughout even the work day. He worked for himself in finance and because I live in a country 8 hours behind his time my work day was his afternoon/evening. I’m in the US, he was/is in Scotland.

There was so much earnest and care in his messages and voice notes and he acted as if he really cared about me and my life. We talked about hopes and dreams and for the first time I really thought I had finally found my person. He asked me what I needed to feel safe and secure.

These were questions I couldn’t answer because like so many submissives, I’ve spent my whole life taking care of everyone else’s needs before my own. I’m not telling you this for sympathy but so you can see yourself in this and know what to watch out for.

He really did put on the best show, but I should have noticed the smaller inconsistencies. We had set up a protocol that I would check in when I got to work/home. And that I would message every Sunday something unapologetically positive about myself. I did this and at first he was responsive but after a while I would message as asked and he wouldn’t even acknowledge it.

Or he started asking questions he already knew the answer to. It must have been because he was juggling too many people at once to keep them straight.

Fast forward to this last Friday. A friend of mine told me they had published some articles I could find in the forums here. So I came back to read them and the plan was to deactivate again right after to keep my word. Well I noticed that mine and Scotlands chat history was still on my account. I decided to go back and read it, just to remember how we first met. I’m a sappy nostalgic person.

But then I noticed something awful. His account wasn’t deleted and he had blocked me. I was so confused so I took a screenshot and sent it to him asking him to explain. The only reason to block someone is because you don’t want them to see what you’re up to. Let me be clear, at this point everything was going smoothly, no arguments no issues that would have justified this.

All my pleas for explanation have gone unanswered and I had some choice words that I’m sure he never read because I’m sure I’ve been blocked on all mediums.

I did exactly what was asked of me as a submissive, I was open and vulnerable. But none of it matters because the person who was supposed to protect my heart, to care for it shattered it like it was nothing.

Before I would be inclined to blame myself to ask what I did wrong, but not anymore. I will not take responsibility for the cowardice of a pathetic fake Dom.

It is your responsibility as a Dom to ask for and communicate exactly what you want/need, you KNOW that these dynamics are emotionally precarious because we give and give up so much to one another and to betray that trust is absolutely disgusting.

Had this person just said that they wanted to keep their options open and weren’t ready or wanting a romantic/exclusive dynamic then I could have had the choice to except it or walk away but lying robbed me of that choice and I never consented to be lied to.

Please submissives, new and seasoned do not let just anyone in no matter how perfect they seem. I don’t know if I can ever trust anyone again.

This hurt too much to be thrown away and forgotten. I won’t reveal the persons identity but beware blue eyed, tattooed Scottish men who love Ac/DC and work in finance and all the “Doms” like him.

And if he ever stumbles upon this, stop hurting people who have done nothing wrong to you, what would you do if someone treated your daughter like this?

- A heartbroken and jaded sub

[Dy****]

I'm really sorry Loki. You deserve better.

[qu****]

Am so so so sorry this happened to you I've had similar situations threw out life of being betrayed after being so honest open and vulnerable but nothing that long or sincere I can't imagine how you must feel am so so sorry

[Deleted Member]

I'm sorry you was hurt but as a parent I ask that you leave the kids out of it I know you mean no harm in what you said but no reason to use a child in this. Not a demand just a respectful request

[Deleted Member]

Yes, it did wrong there's no doubt about it. And I am sorry for what happened to you and what you going through.
But you as well did wrong by not deleting your profile.
If you didn't know how you could had gotten help to deleted your profile, you should had gotten help from the app help section. And if you wasn't sure if he had deleted his profile you should had asked one of your friends to search for his profile.

So you both did wrong. Wrong is wrong no matter how little or big it is.

[Deleted Member]

💓

[La****]

This happen to me as well. I'm sorry love.

[Glimmering]

That is heartbreaking, I’m sorry you have had such a bad experience you should report him x

[Or****]

Something similar recently happened to me as well
Im sorry it happened :c

[CopperKnob]

Not to take away from the 💩 behaviour that you've experienced because, that's absolutely what it was but, I had an interesting conversation with someone recently. Their thinking was essentially, and I'm paraphrasing, that you don't necessarily need to trust anyone else, you just need to trust yourself because others will hurt you un/intentionally. You need to trust yourself that you can leave, pick yourself up and heal. Because you can, you're doing it now.

[en****]

That’s not right,.u deserve better!!! It’s hard enough meeting and trusting ppl nowadays

[im****]

I have been done this way as well. Unfortunately to many times. I have finally began to listen to my brain and my heart. If it sounds to good I assume it is and end it.

[Cheekysub247]

I've been there x x x

[CopperKnob]

1 hour ago, Jeannot said:

Yes, it did wrong there's no doubt about it. And I am sorry for what happened to you and what you going through.
But you as well did wrong by not deleting your profile.
If you didn't know how you could had gotten help to deleted your profile, you should had gotten help from the app help section. And if you wasn't sure if he had deleted his profile you should had asked one of your friends to search for his profile.

So you both did wrong. Wrong is wrong no matter how little or big it is.

A little compassion?

[Deleted Member]

I don't do long distance relationships cos u never know 100% if everything's well...100% never ever jump into any relationship, especially these types of BDSM ones. Unfortunately I've been through similar, learned quick. I take my time with people and if they don't understand then, the door is there. I'm sorry you're going through this and maybe LDR do work but in my experience they don't and are too difficult. I wish u the very best. I'm glad u put this out there. Sadly it happens a lot.

[NO****]

Very sad to hear this as ddlg35 said LDR does not works I will never do that a person keeping someone's heart and emotions are the best a person can do. Please stay happy and take care of yourself and forget that coward SOB

[Tickler101]

Wow. I am so so sorry that you had such a bad experience. But I am glad that you at least found out when you did before you got any deeper. And you didn't fly all the way over here only to find that he didn't show up or something. I hope you can move on without letting this stop you from finding your true 'person'.

[Deleted Member]

I can't add much more to what has already been said. When anyone asks for a long distance relationship, I am immediately suspicious. That's why I don't like online play through Zoom, etc. If that satisfies a Dom one has to wonder - about a lot of things. Hugs.

[Zela]

I’m so sorry you had this experience. I recently had a somewhat similar situation with someone here where we started developing feelings towards one another, discussed visiting and then, out if nowhere 💨 He disappeared. Got ghosted without warning. WTAF?!
.
What I’ve learned from my last serious relationship is that there’s no need to forgive the person who hurt me, but I do need to forgive myself for having trusted him. It’s the only way I can start reopening the door to my heart.
.
Good luck in your journey to happiness.

[Scottishdombull]

I am very sorry @lokifangirl that you been treated in such a despicable fashion.
There is no excuse in this no justification and for then going dark I cannot get my head round this as this has happened to me in the past she is in Canada and yes I am in Scotland.... I do not work in finance before i get lynched. And she acted like what your ex dom done to you text unanswered. The doubt set in then i started checks and found that she broke my trust and respect.


I would offer my hug to you loki. Not sure if you accept though

[am****]

Aw Im here if you need to talk 💖

[ch****]

Why would you talk to someone who is 10 hours away from you? LDR are not worth the hassle. Especially when its based on an App like this. What he did was disgusting.

[Bathblonde]

Im so sorry you had to deal with this, ive not much to add just to say stay strong take time to heal and be kind to yourself. Sending strength and hugs x

[Da****]

6 hours ago, Jeannot said:

Yes, it did wrong there's no doubt about it. And I am sorry for what happened to you and what you going through.
But you as well did wrong by not deleting your profile.
If you didn't know how you could had gotten help to deleted your profile, you should had gotten help from the app help section. And if you wasn't sure if he had deleted his profile you should had asked one of your friends to search for his profile.

So you both did wrong. Wrong is wrong no matter how little or big it is.

Seriously... you're blaming her.. she made him aware of her issue deleting her profile and he didn't have an issue.. he didn't even delete his profile , he just blocked her... she didn't go looking for someone else, she was actually being romantic looking at thier past conversations.

[Da****]

I have had this happen as well.. things going great them poof gone..just straight ghost... it happens both ways.. for the Dom just a power trip...sorry this happened to you...