Is a dom a dom all the time

[sa****]

When someone a dominant are they always like that cause in day to day I’m very submissive (bunch of trauma) but when it comes to the dirty I’m more dominant is that normal?

[Mr****]

Yes. And honestly it can be extreme that way sometimes. Example being ceos and bosses in general usually like to balance that with being dominated in bed. It’s all a spectrum

[Ch****]

Some are some arnt, for some it's just a natural way of life, they can be 24/7 mindset or 'bedroom' only,
Same for subs, theres no switch off for me, I'm this way day in day out, it's not just kinky sex x x

[sa****]

6 minutes ago, MrPhish said:

Yes. And honestly it can be extreme that way sometimes. Example being ceos and bosses in general usually like to balance that with being dominated in bed. It’s all a spectrum

I guess I never really thought bout it line that before thank you

[de****]

Totally normal. Like anything and everything in life, it can be a dynamic thing. Keep your mind open and your feelings desire to be as free as can be. Some one is only a dom. The other can be a switch. As long as it is what YOU need and feel, who the fk has the right to tell you not to?😉

[ey****]

while there are some people like the 24/7/365 thing it's often pretty exhausting for a lot of people to uphold

some people do it full time without a particularly strict dynamic

but for the vast majority of people into kink it is more of an on/off thing around play time. 

[Deleted Member]

I am a naturally Dominant man , always have been , and I live as a Dominant all the time ,

[Phineas]

I'm the boss at work, i run a team, they answer to me. I work with them, manage them, develop them. I control what they do and wen it needs to be done by, and if they repeatedly let me down, they get chastised. But in kink, I'm totally submissive, i can be dominant but it does nothing for me, not interested and don't like controlling women sexually. The two for me are completely separate. The sub side of me is who i am and my release. The controlling (work side of it) i find much harder but it comes with the job.

[Deleted Member]

Not necessarily. Everyone's relationship is somewhat different. Some would want a 24/7 domination and some would prefer to dominate once in a while to spice things up in bed. The most important thing is that you'll understand what you need, and search for someone who wants to be that Dom.

[Deleted Member]

It depends who you are. There are Dominant type people who are that way naturally and then will take on a Dominant role in a dynamic. There are submissive types who like control in a dynamic. More worrying, there are people who don't feel in control of their lives and so like to dominate in a dynamic to feel some measure of control over their lives. These people are red flags to me. I feel they have a tenuous grip on that control.

Similarly, there are people who are naturally Dominant and controlling IRL who like to hand over the reins and feel some relief from that responsibility in a dynamic (me), and some people who are naturally submissive who will take that role in a dynamic bc it feels right. What's important, I think, is to find an opposite who suits you.

[Th****]

I'm very closeted about my kinks. (Live in a small town and I know just about everybody lol) but I often say that IF people were to find out about it they'd probably be less shocked about the kinks and more shocked that I'm submissive. Outside the bedroom I'm blunt, straightforward, and I take zero shit from anyone, much less a man lol. If people who knew me knew what I was into they'd be amazed to see a man slap me and live to tell the tale lol. But I think it's totally normal to want to explore things in private with someone you trust that you wouldn't necessarily let the rest of the world see. Maybe because of your trauma, (no judgement and I'm sorry for your struggles whatever they may be) there's a part of you that needs to explore that dominance in what you consider to be a safe space. And maybe that mindset can help you become more assertive to the rest of the world, should you choose to. Just a thought. I know kink has absolutely helped me in ways I never thought it would

[beanie101]

2 hours ago, Lady_Char said:

It depends who you are. There are Dominant type people who are that way naturally and then will take on a Dominant role in a dynamic. There are submissive types who like control in a dynamic. More worrying, there are people who don't feel in control of their lives and so like to dominate in a dynamic to feel some measure of control over their lives. These people are red flags to me. I feel they have a tenuous grip on that control.

Similarly, there are people who are naturally Dominant and controlling IRL who like to hand over the reins and feel some relief from that responsibility in a dynamic (me), and some people who are naturally submissive who will take that role in a dynamic bc it feels right. What's important, I think, is to find an opposite who suits you.

Are you sponsored to say dynamic 😂

[Deleted Member]

I’m easygoing as hell in life, in the bedroom I take. We all have what works and what shaped us.

[Lo****]

I think most doms want to be doninant because they feel they dont have that control in life and maybe subs want submission for a change too. IAs a Dom i have met many sibs who sre confident people but want to be sdominated which seens the opposite to their character. So I guess not all Doms are Doms all the time, like me.

[Deleted Member]

I'm the same way Sparky above me is. I'm super easy going and chill, in the bedroom im the Dom now even that changes depending on the woman on how dominating I am.

[Eb****]

Everyone is different, going into any relationship is best to establish if you or your partners are lifestyle or scene based in their roles.

I personally am a lifestyle Dom. Everything about me is Dominant though it doesn't mean everyone is a submissive to me it just means my demeanor is always Dominant.

Some of my friends in the community are only Dominant in scene and perfer to not be outside of this. Abd then you have others that go bsck and forth.

Communication on these points are very important, even if it comes later in the relationship as contracts or agreements need to be reassessed.

[Deleted Member]

2 hours ago, beanie101 said:

Are you sponsored to say dynamic 😂

Are you sponsored to needlessly make fun of the way people phrase things? Seriously, why was that necessary?

[Ke****]

I am in control of a lot of things in my life and always have been, even since I was a kid. I have a lot of responsibility. When I'm having sex, it's a moment to let someone else make those decisions. Someone else can be in control. I just need to absolutely trust that person and then I can let go.

[sa****]

I’m the one who organises and sorts things out in normal life, then in ‘bedroom’ I leave it up to him. I was the one who wanted to be sub and try out the lifestyle too.

[so****]

Some people have naturally dominant personalities, so yes I'd say that qualifies as dominant all the time lol just as others have naturally submissive personalities.

[gr****]

Great question. First off, there is no right or wrong way to be dominant or submissive. It’s just what works for you and your partner.

But speaking to my personal experience. I’m not dominant, in the D/s sense, throughout the day. Although I do have a strong tendency to take charge. But I do my best to be collaborative.

In the bedroom, I’m a benevolent tyrant. But that’s just my style in and out of the bedroom.

Do whatever makes you most satisfied and you’ll find a partner who matches you.

[Mi****]

Not always, me and my significant other switch from time to time then again, we are both dominant and submissive, depending on our sexual moods

[Deleted Member]

I mean, I think people already answered this pretty well. So simply put, you do you.

I'm super laid back in my day to day life. I wouldn't say submissive necessarily, but definitely not a dominant person.

However I do have a dominant side that I show but only during sex.

Sometimes kinks/fetishes can be a way for people to express themselves in a way they want their day to day lives. (Not saying this is true for everyone)

Someone mentioned ceos and things being super dominant in their day to day, but submissive in bed. It could just be a turn on for them, or it could be that while they enjoy their success theres still a part of them that wishes they didn't have all the stress and decision making that comes with their lives.
Conversely, I do struggle with confidence in my day to day, and my kink side let's me live that life. I'd say only in the bedroom, but why limit the areas to have fun in? :p

[beanie101]

20 hours ago, Lady_Char said:

Are you sponsored to needlessly make fun of the way people phrase things? Seriously, why was that necessary?

it was a joke but obviously i struck a nerve 

[Deleted Member]

1 hour ago, beanie101 said:

it was a joke but obviously i struck a nerve 

You don't know me. Don't make a joke at a stranger's expense. And then insinuate that I am overreacting.

If all you have to contribute to a discussion is smart arse comments, perhaps it's time to be quiet and listen?