First Dom/Sub Meeting

[Deleted Member]

What's some advice you wish you knew for your 1st Dom/Sub experience? Punishment ideas? What did you try?

[Re****]

Find a Yes/No/Maybe list. Go thru it yourself. Go thru it with your partner. Try the things you both score high on. Know about ‘red/yellow’ or other safe words. Know RACK. Spanking is a good starter practice. Basic Ropework too - make sure you have Trauma Shears!!! Understand Consent and Reversal of it. Hierarchy of D/s goes: Sub’s needs first. The Dom’s needs and wants. Then sub’s wants. Have fun. Take your time. Be rough. Be kind.

[ST****]

Take it easy in the beginning slow the f**k down!!! You don't take full control or go ape shit on this sub?!! Don't do it slow and steady!! I know yous talked about dos and don'ts but you still have to feel it out... As long as you don't end the night like that feeling around you'll be fine!!! And don't be nervous I know is smell that a mile away!!

[de****]

Well... Im not in to lecture on how to be a Dom, because it's jusbt not what i usually do and it isnt really my business how others play by. Each and everyone of us is a set of rules. A set of wills and red lines and soft boundaries and a soul which lies in between. I can mostly say that it has to come from within you, as cheesy as it sounds. You can rehearse, read, convince yourself your a Dom or whatever. If it doesn't flow out, it's just a role play and it is going to be felt, especially if your sub is well experienced and looking for the real corners of their emotions. You should speak to your sub. All the above questions can be answered by knowing your sub, which is really the base of the base if this type of relationship. Boundaries will allow you a sandbox to chose on which spot you play in it. Desires and kinks will focus you to what YOUR SUB NEEDS, and allow you "points of interest", as i call it. Everything in between is given to the depth of your needs/thrills/adventures.
SAFE.
SANE.
CONSENT.
I hope you got some food for thought and wish u food luck with the experience. You can always pm me if you beed more guidance.

[EMandM]

Id say the main thing is knowing clear limits for both of you, and sticking to them. Oh and have plenty of water, it can be thirsty work for both 🙂

[ro****]

It should have been vanilla. You can workout all the details. And if the attraction 🧲 is gone you can part as friends.

[Lo****]

If it becomes apparent on that first meeting that your “very experienced Dom” is just winging it (and really not very well), don’t expect it to get better. 

[ol****]

6 hours ago, round-lake738 said:

It should have been vanilla. You can workout all the details. And if the attraction 🧲 is gone you can part as friends.

Exactly this. Don't go to a first meeting, real or virtual and expect too much. You may well have written to each other but treat speaking as a fresh start.

[Po****]

Set boundaries early on and take things slow. There are a lot of abusive people under the guise of Dominant. Finding a good Dom for you can take a long time. Have patience and keep your wants in mind, sub.

[sp****]

Maybe discussing limits before punishment ideas?

[ro****]

Limits should be first. For both parties.

[Na****]

22 hours ago, Remi_Nice said:

Find a Yes/No/Maybe list. Go thru it yourself. Go thru it with your partner. Try the things you both score high on. Know about ‘red/yellow’ or other safe words. Know RACK. Spanking is a good starter practice. Basic Ropework too - make sure you have Trauma Shears!!! Understand Consent and Reversal of it. Hierarchy of D/s goes: Sub’s needs first. The Dom’s needs and wants. Then sub’s wants. Have fun. Take your time. Be rough. Be kind.

Wonderful starter guide! Don’t forget the aftercare 💕

[Ph****]

Take it slow. Communicate. It's a first meet. Think of it as a first date :)

[Deleted Member]

You should try to explore your subs limits, eating her out until she can’t take it anymore is a great way of finding her sensitivity limit…

[bu****]

Don't hold back on your sub and what I mean here is be 100% in the present and open to let her know what you want, expect, and establish safe word before any engagement is priority and as a Dom you owe total safety and she has to know she can trust you with her life.

[Fa****]

Set some expectations and give thought to all meetings not just the first. I have a general goal that I’m working towards with subs based on her needs, her goals, and her limits. But In the first meeting I will sometimes task a girl with something easy that requires thought and have her be ready to go into it during your meet. Make sure you set the precedent for safety and communication. This is your responsibility and it will also demonstrate to the sub that you are taking these meets seriously which goes a long way to building trust. Make sure there is an understanding of what you both want out of your relationship and are working towards.

[Ba****]

I wish I had known to set boundaries and to not jump in head first. It was super fun and eye opening but there were some parts that were… questionable and definitely made me feel unsafe. Luckily nothing bad happened but something I’ve been conscious of ever since.

[Fa****]

8 hours ago, BabyMonster said:

I wish I had known to set boundaries and to not jump in head first. It was super fun and eye opening but there were some parts that were… questionable and definitely made me feel unsafe. Luckily nothing bad happened but something I’ve been conscious of ever since.

That’s a shame. But I’m glad it hasn’t scared you off. Just trust your gut and remember a real dominant will recognize you hold the true power and have a right to question. Don’t trust anyone that asks for blind faith. Trust is earned. Make the next Dom earn it.