Doms, what are some of your favorite rules for your Subs to follow

[ni****]

I recently got into a relationship, and I have never experienced a sub that actually follows the lifestyle. I have to set rules for her, and so I have only come up with some of the basics like strict monogamy and access to phone lock, etc.

What are some of your favorites to keep your sub in check?

[Gr****]

i used to make my sub text me good morning/night every day

[Of****]

Depends of online or irl but some of my favorites are below for inspiration. Also, depends on if it’s high or low protocol, some rules are fun but exhausting to keep 100% of the time.

No orgasm or masturbating without permission
No underwear when inside or warm outside
Always wearing a slave anklet
Always wearing a slave collar when at home/in private
Reciting her slave mantra in the morning either in person or in voice message
Keeping a slave diary
Asking for permission to do basic things like sitting in the sofa or going to bed
Required to keep legs apart whenever sitting or standing
Required to answer where she is within x minutes at any time of the day with photo proof
Required to send pussy pics on request at any time of the day

[Ow****]

An oldie but goodie… no panties on certain days. But spice it up a bit, instead of using the date, why not no panties on every third day of our relationship. But make her work a little too, after a couple of weeks add in no panties on every third day and prime number days. Then add Fibonacci numbers, numbers with a 4 in them, days when you wake up look out of your window and see a man walking a dog… Mix it up a bit, have fun with it.

[DJ****]

Daily check ins, so I agree with morning and night messages.
If there are any daily/weekly tasks then I used an app called “Obedience” which was great for when you’re not with someone 24/7.
I did enjoy setting some tasks for good mental well-being, but also some tasks that I knew she would fail…
Daily diary was a good one. But being on time/5 mins early for work was an easy one she would fail at… but she was a *** s*** so it wasn’t all bad!!

[BigPolly]

Access to phone lock?
Insisting on access to someone’s phone really isn’t Dom/Domme behaviour. There’s rules to follow but being controlling isn’t the same as being in control.
It also depends if she is planning on being in the lifestyle outside of scenes. If she is then you could choose her underwear, choose when she plays with herself, set her tasks, make sure she’s looking after herself & eating correctly, getting enough sleep.
Checking in with you at certain times.
You can be strict with her but you still need to give her room to breathe, she is yours to be owned but the dynamic is still shared

[Deleted Member]

I had to go shopping without underwear and send pictures to prove I followed the rules.

[AKA_Copper]

If you are creating rules based upon the rules other people have in their dynamic then it's no longer your dynamic but one others have created for you

[Da****]

I have my sub take a naked kneeling picture everyday and she have statements of affirmation that she does in the morning and at night.

[De****]

I like to make sure I know what there up too 24/7 and safe so make sure there location is on, If they don't follow my instructions, Time out with Funishment for myself.

[te****]

My sub takes a pic of her outfit for the day for my approval every day

[su****]

Sometimes I make subs say things like “I am beautiful“ and “my beauty belongs to you“ I like that it affirms that are worthwhile also degrading them heh

[Azrakiel]

#1 - Honesty
#2 - ~ .... a list of tasks, or ways of asking or addressing her Dom or herself to help remind and strengthen the roles. The specifics should be specific for the Dom/sub pair.

I may mix in a version of picking her clothes, nail polish, makeup, morning/bedtime routines.... depending on my sub of course and how much she needs/wants to be controlled, or my specific wants.

....but reading and understanding the psychology behind the need to lead and the need to give over control is the Primal core. From there, make it (and of course your sub) your own.

[BigPolly]

Why don’t you write a set of rules together, communicate, both come up with ideas about things you’re both comfortable with, after all this is a shared dynamic. As a sub it’s easy to see rules & either agree to them, disagree to them or put them under the ‘hard limit’ category but setting your own boundaries is sometimes a task in itself. Plus she may have more or different ideas than you.

Pushing limits is ok & fun but sometimes just setting straight rules for someone to adhere to that may encroach on their personal life could cut things very short for you both. 
May I also suggest that if you are starting something new for either of you (ie you stepping into a lifestyle relationship) that it is done slowly & with a ton of communication.

[J-****]

I give them total permission to stop me during a scene a tell me exactly how it feels goo/better/best/hurts and how we can make it just right! It helps validate me and my efforts to ensure they love every minute of the scene.

[AKA_Copper]

6 hours ago, BigPolly said:

Why don’t you write a set of rules together, communicate, both come up with ideas about things you’re both comfortable with, after all this is a shared dynamic. As a sub it’s easy to see rules & either agree to them, disagree to them or put them under the ‘hard limit’ category but setting your own boundaries is sometimes a task in itself. Plus she may have more or different ideas than you.

Pushing limits is ok & fun but sometimes just setting straight rules for someone to adhere to that may encroach on their personal life could cut things very short for you both. 
May I also suggest that if you are starting something new for either of you (ie you stepping into a lifestyle relationship) that it is done slowly & with a ton of communication.

What a novel idea! 😉

[Azrakiel]

Usually I find some rules need a little tweaking or adjusting as time and discovery goes on. That's why I also have a routine where we read over the rules periodically and put them in a shared space so we can both look a the rules anytime no matter where we are. There's an "Obedience" app you can download off your app store and donate to the developer if you feel it warrants it.

[HT****]

Being able to stand your ground, stick to your rules, don’t bend them, and ultimately having the power of walking away. 

[BigPolly]

16 hours ago, CopperKnob said:

What a novel idea! 😉

😂 wellllll it needed spelling out.

I read half the rules on here off others & thought ‘well you could go away’ (in less polite terms) if you set Me that rule 😂😂😂😂

[AKA_Copper]

8 hours ago, BigPolly said:

😂 wellllll it needed spelling out.

I read half the rules on here off others & thought ‘well you could go away’ (in less polite terms) if you set Me that rule 😂😂😂😂

You know, posts like these sometimes have me questioning my submission, whether I'm submissive blah blah blah. Then, I think actually, someone asking for the passcode to my phone is too much, where's the actual trust? If you don't trust me, why are we in a relationship let alone playing around kinky like 🙄
But also, asking for something like that, well I'd suggest it say's more about the person asking than the person being asked 🤷‍♀️

[Azrakiel]

Everyone's different, and from the looks of things he's got a tough time trusting due to past experiences. Sure, thst might be a tough thing to relinquish early on, but trust needs to be built up, not granted, on BOTH sides of the slash. I'm not saying that's one of MY rules, but I can understand the motivations behind such a rule, and the reluctance on adhering to it... but at some point, if the relationship flourishes, the Dom will know and trust his sub, and vise versa so compleatly that having such access would be nothing more than say a shared bank account between husband and wife.

[FreshMeet]

On 9/21/2022 at 2:35 PM, TallAndStrict said:

"Reciting her slave mantra in the morning either in person or in voice message"

I am curious ... what is her "slave mantra" she has to repeat? 

[ni****]

Yes, having access to her phone is a rule I set for my partner. It's monogamous relationship and she what she is told, if you like being sneaky then sure but in our relationship we have access to each other's phones, trust is earned over time. Thanks to the guy that recommended Obedience, I plan on using it along with making her wear her collar.

[Of****]

13 hours ago, FreshMeet said:

I am curious ... what is her "slave mantra" she has to repeat? 

It’s a short statement she has to come up with and memorize that highlight the important points of her role as a slave to me. Like how she’s fully submitted to me, that she obeys no one else, etc. Then she’s made to recite this mantra as rein***ment of her submission at various times.

[BigPolly]

3 hours ago, nihilistic-cvnt said:

if you like being sneaky then sure but in our relationship we have access to each other's phones, trust is earned over time.

It’s not about being sneaky it’s about offering my submission as a gift to someone. I am willing to allow someone to take control, I accepted their Dominance & I gave them my submission, that’s a gift that is earned. Equally my trust & me leaving my phone lying around for my partner are gifts that had to be earned. I am a person in my own right who chose to spend my life in a D/s relationship, that wasn’t taken away with any rules that showed an immediate lack of trust, we showed eachother respect so we could build on that.There’s absolutely nothing sneaky about showing eachother respect so that we both have room to develop & grow.

Everyone is different & each dynamic is different, I know if I had insisted on people’s personal data as a Domme either in private or when I was working, I wouldn’t have had many subs.