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Conversational Consent


Cu****

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Posted

When having a conversation with someone, if at any point to one of your questions, a person replies in any form of the word no, it should be accepted and the topic dropped. When you dont accept a 'no' in any form and start to repeat your request it comes across as bullying and quite frankly disrespectful.

 

If a person says no in sex and you do not back off this is considered r*pe. You pride yourself on your decency and honour that no, so why cant a no in a conversation be honoured?

 

 

Posted
Well, for the most part it should. I guess the consequences of ignoring a no in conversation are usually less severe than ignoring a no during sex so its likely seen as less of an issue - but as far as I'm concerned if you ask a straight question and get a no then you're right.. there shouldn't really be reason to bring it up again 🤷🏻‍♂️
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Theres probably some responsibility on both sides to be clear and communicate properly, if someone asks me something and I'm a bit vague then I can't complain if they try and clarify another time... but if I am then.. pushing a subject that's been clearly outlined as a no is a bit of a dick move!
Posted
Yep, it comes down to respect. Respect for the word 'no' and any form that that takes as, well as having respect for the person. Not only because they've said 'no' but often people don't say 'no' because they worry about the consequences of doing so
Posted
7 hours ago, abysmaljohn said:
Safeword means no when doing a scene.

Safe word means no when doing a scene but if I say no I’m regular conversation, before we even get to playing in scenes and you can’t take no as an answer? I’m not trusting you enough to get to scene play.

Posted
3 minutes ago, janieiswild said:

Safe word means no when doing a scene but if I say no I’m regular conversation, before we even get to playing in scenes and you can’t take no as an answer? I’m not trusting you enough to get to scene play.

You are assuming too much from my comment and coming to your own conclusions about what I said. Tut tut.

Posted

if they don't respect you saying "no" or "drop the subject"  they just won't listen and shows a bad sign of not willing to communicate on equal terms and really wanting to know you.

Refusal to even apply understanding and two way communication to me shows a red flag.  

If someone doesn't respect or show willingness to understand then it's a No from me for continuing on to real life things.

Posted
Male or female when they say no it means no in my book and if that person doesn't stop that is considered raping my book and I will hurt them I don't like that it's totally just respectful to the other person and that person should be hurt
Posted
1 hour ago, abysmaljohn said:

You are assuming too much from my comment and coming to your own conclusions about what I said. Tut tut.

This is just how I think. I just happened to quote your comment since that’s what jogged the thought for me.

If someone, not specifically you, does not respect my no in conversation, we’ll never make it to the scene. That’s all I’m saying 😊

This is my take on consensual conversation

Posted

Context is key.

 

Depends on the conversation. What was asked. Why it was asked. In addition, the interpretation of the response given.

 

Posted
I think I am a tiny bit confused here...
So if you are asking someone if they like say having a crop used on them and they say No. I get that, no crop, don't ask again cool.
Now is it then bullying if you ask "what about spanking with a bare hand or paddle?."

If we just take a monosyllabic response as the final answer negotiating play just breaks down from fact finding to a verbal check list.

All this being said I may have totally missed the OP's original point, if it was say about saying no to getting sexual DM's then of course you take no as an answer.
Posted
On a person says no it means no you don't keep on going that and that person keeps on doing it that means that means raping someone and you don't listen to the person saying no
Posted
Thank you so much for agreeing with me cuz I really do believe in that I have been ***d before when I have told them no when I was younger and it does not feel good Thebian
  • 4 weeks later...
Posted
Because life and relationships are not this simple. There's lots of subtlety and social nuances involved in interpersonal communication and relationships - having things be this black and white would be the kinda world Sheldon Cooper, Big Bang Theory, or Spok, Star Trek, would find highly logical and sensible, but it is not the way humans work.
If its hard to understand the difference between conversations and sex/***, there needs to be some major social recalibration - otherwise I think you're gonna be upset very frequently at people and will find dating and basic coconvos with pet much anyone very hard.
Posted
One is ***. The other is just someone who's kinda annoying. You cannot just walk away or ignore ***. But you can just walk away from a convo and ignore that person forever if you want to. It's a huge stretch to equate these two things.
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