El**** Posted October 23, 2022 Posted October 23, 2022 I think you're doing the right thing. Respect should be both ways and if you aren't being aggressive or offensive then they shouldn't act like that. If so, then block will prevent any malice. It's a matter of personality isdues in my opinion. My friend here is a lesbian, wrote on her profile she is interested in women only. Yet she gats 5 -10 new messages from guys trying to hit on her. It's really sad and pathetic and shows how much they are interested in her if they cannot even read her profile info.
50**** Posted October 23, 2022 Author Posted October 23, 2022 13 hours ago, FETMOD-KF said: There are a few comments here which are bordering on being transphobic where I don't think the intention is made "biological female" and "born a woman" are both transphobic - the term you are looking for is "cis woman" or "cis female" Part the reason they are transphobic is because you don't *actually* know what their biology is - you are making an assumption. You cannot tell if they have XX chromosomes. You cannot tell if they were born intersex. Hell, if they have fully transitioned, you might have no way of actually knowing. The other thing of course also in this is that of course trans men were assumed to be women, ditto for AFAB non-binary folk. Curious, do all women call themselves Cis-woman? - Did women and men choose to put Cis before their chosen identities? (Labels Suck!) who chose this, I am not transphobic for calling myself a Man instead of a cis-man or a man interested in biological woman with a sexual identity that matches my own. If we need more defined labels, then we should have more than three gender groups on this app to appropriately distinguish our desired interests and secondly would people even respect these preferences anyway?
Deleted Member Posted October 23, 2022 Posted October 23, 2022 2 hours ago, 50ShadeGray said: Curious, do all women call themselves Cis-woman? - Did women and men choose to put Cis before their chosen identities? (Labels Suck!) who chose this, I am not transphobic for calling myself a Man instead of a cis-man or a man interested in biological woman with a sexual identity that matches my own. If we need more defined labels, then we should have more than three gender groups on this app to appropriately distinguish our desired interests and secondly would people even respect these preferences anyway? I 100% agree with you I can’t stand being called a cis man, just man is fine with me I’m not transphobic I’m autistic and this 100 gender thing really confuses me to be honest but I bet any *** someone I’d going to get offended by what I said tbh it used to happen to me all the time on Facebook I once got a 30 day ban because someone got butthurt because I said on a superhero group that Batman had no powers and is over rated, the thing is social justice warriors are always going out of their way finding offence in everything that is being said that make people not want to say anything I’m not a phobic of any kind and that is the truth and I’d defend that to my death tout also I don’t like bullies of any kind either and I’d prefer someone telling me outright what they think of me rather than beating around the bush, and I will say why right now why I want a woman and not a trans or a msn or couple or non binary, it’s because I don’t just want a sub for fun eventually I want a meaningful relationship and eventually not yet but I do want to have kids and you can’t naturally have kids with a trans person also why I say non binary is because I was messaged by a non binary person before, we were getting on then they were saying how they wasn’t me to do anal with them and I was like okay I never done that before but I’d like to give it a try, then they sent me a photo of themself bent over no bottoms in a wig and make up and all hanging out, as a straight man I do not want to see another man’s junk, I asked why didn’t he tell me he was a man why he made me believe he was a woman and he told me he’s not a man or a woman he’s a nonbinary, so I took non binary off my list he could see I was interested in women but still messaged me and then showed me photos of himself that I didn’t want to see and wasn’t honest about what he was, I think on here when it says non binary it should have a little (m) or (f) next to it to clarify the biology because honestly there are some people out there who would really not take kindly to being lied to like that and it could be dangerous I think honesty is the best policy tbh and it’s not transphobic to be honest p.s sorry this is a long comment
ey**** Posted October 23, 2022 Posted October 23, 2022 23 minutes ago, daddy6987 said: I 100% agree with you I can’t stand being called a cis man, But you ARE a cis man it doesn't matter if you don't like it - it doesn't change biology as people are so keen to point out. But equally, right. If like me, you are a heterosexual cis man - you rarely have to tell anyone anything above 'man' - this is a privilege we have. We don't write on dating forms "I am a caucasian, heterosexual, cisgender, monogamous, male" because most of those are assumed (well, I practice ENM so I'm not mono) and for the best part that's OK. We are still all of those things. So when you kinda expect someone to write "I am a pansexual, polyamorous, non-binary (assigned f at birth) person" you see how this creates a barrier in itself.
Deleted Member Posted October 23, 2022 Posted October 23, 2022 39 minutes ago, eyemblacksheep said: But you ARE a cis man it doesn't matter if you don't like it - it doesn't change biology as people are so keen to point out. But equally, right. If like me, you are a heterosexual cis man - you rarely have to tell anyone anything above 'man' - this is a privilege we have. We don't write on dating forms "I am a caucasian, heterosexual, cisgender, monogamous, male" because most of those are assumed (well, I practice ENM so I'm not mono) and for the best part that's OK. We are still all of those things. So when you kinda expect someone to write "I am a pansexual, polyamorous, non-binary (assigned f at birth) person" you see how this creates a barrier in itself. Okay as far as I am concerned I was just a man until last year I don’t like being called a cis man and I have said that and you ignored me and said it anyway I respect everyone and what they want to be called and I expect the same respect back And in real life and on the phone I do have to clearly state the fact I am a man my voice broke early so it is high for a man in fact some women have a deeper voice than me so this privilege you talk if I don’t know it To be honest I’m not trying to make any barriers just asking for honesty you say you are a straight man if you was talking to someone and getting along with them and started to get feelings then they tell you they are a full on man they just like to dress as a woman you wouldn’t like it you would be thinking why wasn’t they honest with me wouldn’t you? That is what happened to me basically Also I’m not having a go I’m sorry if it comes across that way I’m just trying to say what I mean snd make it understandable as alot of the time I am asked to do because I don’t make sense sometimes I don’t mean it it’s my learning difficulties
Deleted Member Posted October 23, 2022 Posted October 23, 2022 I've had issues with this before, i was incredibly respectful and mentioned that i would like a woman who is capable of having children. I stated that i'm respectful to their decision to be a woman, but i wanted someone who was of that gender at birth and not transitional. I was then proceeded to be called ignorant and was made out to be a horrible person because "trans women can have children through IVF and other means". I have screenshots of this on my twitter and not once was i disrepsectful to them, just explained that wasnt my preference. I just think its disgusting personally how some (not all) of them are. Ruins our impressions of the rest of the trans community.. same as these people who try taking the terms "breasts" away from women because it could be seen as transphobic etc.. its a crazy world, no disrespect to the trans community but there are a fair few of them who need to learn to accept who and what they are instead of thinking transitioning makes you immediately a biological woman, because it doesnt 😅 last time i check, a biological woman can't get prostate cancer...
ey**** Posted October 23, 2022 Posted October 23, 2022 what I also find interesting - that whenever there is a thread of 'awful men' that men are very quick to try to say they're not like that blah blah - but also we're saying that bad experiences of literally one or two trans folk ruins impressions of the rest of the community all said with a complete lack of self awareness. like also "oh, respect my choice" above while also thinking nonbinary people should declare their assumed gender at birth.
se**** Posted October 23, 2022 Posted October 23, 2022 I knew a man who was first stage of becoming a woman. He lost his marriage, children, and was banned from his entire family... lost everything! This makes me believe he is actually a "she". She is a woman just like me!!
Deleted Member Posted October 23, 2022 Posted October 23, 2022 34 minutes ago, eyemblacksheep said: what I also find interesting - that whenever there is a thread of 'awful men' that men are very quick to try to say they're not like that blah blah - but also we're saying that bad experiences of literally one or two trans folk ruins impressions of the rest of the community all said with a complete lack of self awareness. like also "oh, respect my choice" above while also thinking nonbinary people should declare their assumed gender at birth. Are you talking about me? If you are why don’t you grow a back bone and directly reply as a am doing I never said anything bad about trans people and I have had very bad experiences with non binaries I just think it’s common decency if you are a non binary and flirting with someone who is straight just to let them know yes I’m nonbinary but biologically I am this that is not a transphobic thing to say and honestly I have never commented on a men are shit post because people are shit no matter what gender or race or anything like that everyone has good and bad in them including myself and including you too the only difference between us is I speak what is honestly on my mind and am not an awake holier than thou snowflake
ey**** Posted October 23, 2022 Posted October 23, 2022 3 minutes ago, daddy6987 said: if you are a non binary and flirting with someone who is straight just to let them know yes I’m nonbinary but biologically I am this that is not a transphobic thing to say it is a transphobic thing to say, cis man if you're not interested in non-binary folk then don't flirt back with them - because even if they are AFAB - there's a lot you won't understand. Would you still be attracted to them if, for example, they presented masc and bound their chest?
Deleted Member Posted October 23, 2022 Posted October 23, 2022 46 minutes ago, eyemblacksheep said: what I also find interesting - that whenever there is a thread of 'awful men' that men are very quick to try to say they're not like that blah blah - but also we're saying that bad experiences of literally one or two trans folk ruins impressions of the rest of the community all said with a complete lack of self awareness. like also "oh, respect my choice" above while also thinking nonbinary people should declare their assumed gender at birth. I'm assuming part of this was aimed at me, but i have friends who a MtF trans and will agree with me due to their own experiences. I'm more than happy to link to the screenshots on twitter of the experience i had. I have zero issue with the lgbtq+ community, i won't devalue a trans-woman or trans-man in any shape or form because i can sympathise and understand what they must have felt like before transitioning and will applaud them for making a drastic change for their own mental and physical alignment and benefit. Trans people are their assigned gender, i won't say otherwise, but that doesn't mean they are capable of everything a biological man or woman is. They should take note of this, not to devalue themselves or life choices but rather as a way to understand that medically they are prone to specific illnesses due to their birth gender, they aren't able to have wombs or ejeculate or breastfeed like the biological gender can. Maybe in future this will change, but for now, they need to be mindful that just because the body is now aligned with their mind, it doesn't mean that their body is properly aligned to the gender they portray themselves as. My friend michelle agreed with me on this and she's trans. Also trans people should be open to the ideology that perhaps biological genders will have a preference to other people who are their biological gender for procreation or just preference. It's no different to being bisexual and preferring one gender over the other or turning down a gay person because you're het, or turning away someone who you aren't physically or mentally attracted to.. its all preference. It doesn't mean they aren't valued as people, just they aren't someones preference; i'm not devaluing trans people here, just rather pointing out the hypocrisy of it all. And don't even get me started on the hypocrisy of todays racial agenda 🙄
Phoenyx Posted October 23, 2022 Posted October 23, 2022 21 hours ago, FETMOD-KF said: "biological female" and "born a woman" are both transphobic - the term you are looking for is "cis woman" or "cis female" "Cis" tends to sound pejorative. Many folks are offended by that term.
Deleted Member Posted October 23, 2022 Posted October 23, 2022 1 minute ago, Phoenyx said: "Cis" tends to sound pejorative. Many folks are offended by that term. Thank you for this
ey**** Posted October 23, 2022 Posted October 23, 2022 5 minutes ago, Phoenyx said: "Cis" tends to sound pejorative. Many folks are offended by that term. I hate to be that person but, perhaps they should stop being wet wipes cis is not offensive, nor designed to be offensive. There is again this lost irony of people going "don't call me cis, it's offensive" while calling other people "easily offended snowflakes"
ey**** Posted October 23, 2022 Posted October 23, 2022 8 minutes ago, Purplerain8 said: Also trans people should be open to the ideology that perhaps biological genders will have a preference to other people who are their biological gender for procreation or just preference. It's no different to being bisexual and preferring one gender over the other or turning down a gay person because you're het, or turning away someone who you aren't physically or mentally attracted to.. its all preference. I completely agree and this is something I've already touched on on this thread. So, absolutely, it's (usually) not transphobic to have a preference - and - of course, there might be some people who take rejection badly and that could very well because they are arseholes, but that's not really something that you would project onto an entire community. Equally, while I am happy to trust that your responses were respectful; I know there are other trans folk who have received quite nasty, or unnecessary, rejection messages from others. But, really, "I'm sorry, not interested" is always enough words.
Deleted Member Posted October 23, 2022 Posted October 23, 2022 5 minutes ago, eyemblacksheep said: I hate to be that person but, perhaps they should stop being wet wipes cis is not offensive, nor designed to be offensive. There is again this lost irony of people going "don't call me cis, it's offensive" while calling other people "easily offended snowflakes" Again you continue to talk about me without actually addressing me that is disrespectful but I don’t expect much from you tbh I didn’t say I was offended by it I just don’t like it I am a man snd like to be addressed as a man you can be called whatever you want I’ll stick to what I am too and if you are going to say anything else about me either grow a back bone or fuck off
FETMOD-KF Posted October 23, 2022 Posted October 23, 2022 ok; so this is starting to get both (a) ugly (b) off-topic Again, in the name of allowing opinions we are allowing this to run, but please keep things on topic.
Deleted Member Posted October 23, 2022 Posted October 23, 2022 4 minutes ago, FETMOD-KF said: ok; so this is starting to get both (a) ugly (b) off-topic Again, in the name of allowing opinions we are allowing this to run, but please keep things on topic. I understand sorry it’s just I don’t like people talking about me if someone wants to say something to me they should say it not write about me but I’ll come off this convo tbh it’s really starting to get to me it’s a shame though that some people have to be passive aggressive and not straight to the point but I’ll be the adult here and leave the convo
Ri**** Posted October 24, 2022 Posted October 24, 2022 I suggest one simple thing and put it in your profile. Can explain it this way and it not transphobic in any way. I will adress you as anything you want, we can discuss and converse and be friends but do not shame me for what I am into. This website is about discussion, being yourself and having the freedom to express yourself. No one has right to ever shame you for something your attracted to within reason i only bring up that as no one should want children that all. I know people all day can argue mentally how someone feel but physically if it something your not attracted to then those people need to grow up and evolve as human beings. We all want equality in the world and if that the case you have right to be attracted to who you want and so do they and if your being civil about it then if they can not just block it that simple. I know take work to wade through the the shit but give them mutual respect and if they dnt show it then dnt give it that simple. No different if a women disrespected you or if a man did, no one owns anyone a damn thing and respect is earned not given at a certain level. As a human i believe civility is given to all even with opossing opinions so just be civil and block those who arent and if want to put forth effort, explain that it your attraction it your body and if they continue to shame you for what you like then they have some deep seated issues to solve.
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