Ever get blocked for no reason?

[bi****]

Well said windwolf to many visit profile leave a like with out reading profile first fine if we are not compatible move on it is too easy to hit block for no reason

[ge****]

15 hours ago, Windwolf said:

I realize this is an old thread, but adding a new thread about the same topic just gets it trashcaned.

I have had several women visit my profile whose profile says they are Dominant. They have used the spank button without bothering to read my profile. However, when I contact them as soon as they find out that I'm not a submissive, they block me withoutsayingaword. Frankly, thats just plain rude.
If you don't want to be friends even if we are not compatible, stay off my profile and don't hit the spank button.

I don't care that you don't want to be friends, but I do care that you wasted my damn time.

If you think that being outright rude makes you appear to be more dominant, you are wrong. Especially when your BDSM Personality Test says you are 60 percent dominant and 60 percent submissive.

In reality, the BDSM lifestyle is a community. And rudeness is abundant in the rest of the world without us being totally rude to each other for no reason.

I realize that there are times when we require the use of the block button and that's fine, but we don't have to do it without a word just out of rudeness.

That's actually a fault of the site - on the swipe right/left page, if someone either accidentally swipes right (something easily done as I know I have done it myself) or decides to look at your profile before deciding which way to swipe - the site automatically sends a spank.
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Either way look at it this way - them blocking you takes them out of your search parameters for not being compatible and you out of theirs for the same reason - so it saves wasting further time all round.

[ey****]

Over on fetlife there was a guy complaining as he has hit his block limit.  He basically blocks anyone in his area he's not interested in, or who he has messaged and has rebuffed him, so he doesn't message them again and so they don't show in searches

It's not overly unlikely that people aren't doing the same here, especially if they've viewed a profile and don't want to give the wrong impression that this means they're interested 

[Wi****]

24 minutes ago, eyemblacksheep said:

Over on fetlife there was a guy complaining as he has hit his block limit.  He basically blocks anyone in his area he's not interested in, or who he has messaged and has rebuffed him, so he doesn't message them again and so they don't show in searches

It's not overly unlikely that people aren't doing the same here, especially if they've viewed a profile and don't want to give the wrong impression that this means they're interested 

I don't have a problem with that.
It's people that you have exchanged one or more messages with that bothers me.
I don't even care that they don't want to have contact with me.
I do care that the information that asked for is one my profile.
So, instead of wasting their time to read my profile, they waste mine in answering a question.
Then when they don't like the answer, they just use the block button.

[Th****]

It's very easy to accidentally send spanks. Lots of people only like photos to collect points towards memberships.

It's weird to get upset about people visiting your profile, how else are they supposed to gain information about you? If they do so incessantly, sure it's worthy of getting irritated at. Getting so emotionally disregulated over someone blocking you when you've never or barely even talked to them is something to work on within yourself.

If people are asking things clearly in your profile they obviously haven't read it, so why are you choosing to give them your time? We are the ones responsible for how we react and respond to things. 

[ge****]

16 minutes ago, Windwolf said:

I don't have a problem with that.
It's people that you have exchanged one or more messages with that bothers me.
I don't even care that they don't want to have contact with me.
I do care that the information that asked for is one my profile.
So, instead of wasting their time to read my profile, they waste mine in answering a question.
Then when they don't like the answer, they just use the block button.

I tell you why they do it - because of the number of men that get butt hurt when they get a polite rejection note, and send *** and worse back in response. I'm not saying that's you - but I also don't *know* it's not you, because I don't know you in the slightest.
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Same applies from anyone you may have had a couple of exchanges of messages with who has decided you're not for them - they can't possibly know if you're the type of guy that is going to accept a polite rejection gracefully, or the type that's going to get abusive - so to protect themselves they block rather than send that rejection note - either way the end result is the same, they have no further interest in interacting with you and they've let you know by blocking you.
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I honestly don't understand why so many guys get so uptight about being blocked by a random stranger on the Internet that is obviously not compatible - as I said earlier, them blocking you has the dual effect of taking you out of their search pool, and them out of yours....so it actually saves you wasting your time.

[Wi****]

1 hour ago, gemini_man said:

I tell you why they do it - because of the number of men that get butt hurt when they get a polite rejection note, and send *** and worse back in response. I'm not saying that's you - but I also don't *know* it's not you, because I don't know you in the slightest.
.
Same applies from anyone you may have had a couple of exchanges of messages with who has decided you're not for them - they can't possibly know if you're the type of guy that is going to accept a polite rejection gracefully, or the type that's going to get abusive - so to protect themselves they block rather than send that rejection note - either way the end result is the same, they have no further interest in interacting with you and they've let you know by blocking you.
.
I honestly don't understand why so many guys get so uptight about being blocked by a random stranger on the Internet that is obviously not compatible - as I said earlier, them blocking you has the dual effect of taking you out of their search pool, and them out of yours....so it actually saves you wasting your time.

It's not being blocked by someone on the internet. It's wasting my time when all they had to do was read my profile.

I couldn't care less if they don't want to communicate with me, but they could at least have the courtesy to say, sorry for wasting your time.

If men get butt hurt here they need to reevaluate their own place in life.

Especially if they say that they are Dominant.
I plain and simple have better things to do with my time that to waste it on someone who's to damn lazy to read.

[ge****]

7 hours ago, Windwolf said:

It's not being blocked by someone on the internet. It's wasting my time when all they had to do was read my profile.

I couldn't care less if they don't want to communicate with me, but they could at least have the courtesy to say, sorry for wasting your time.

If men get butt hurt here they need to reevaluate their own place in life.

Especially if they say that they are Dominant.
I plain and simple have better things to do with my time that to waste it on someone who's to damn lazy to read.

But from what you've said it was *you* initiating the contact in response to their spank (which as I explained is an automatic site generated thing in some cases) - sure some people will read a profile when they receive a message and before engaging but not all, they've received a message and presumed the other person has read theirs so it's a vicious circle really.
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Either way, they are still strangers on the Internet and entitled to use their account how they please - if the way they choose to doesn't match with how you choose to use yours there's no point getting butt hurt over it - it won't make a shred of difference and the net result is still the same - they're not interested in communicating further.
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As I said, sadly because of the way some men behave, they have no way of knowing how you'll react to a polite "sorry not interested in chatting further" message, and so protect themselves by not sending one.

[ey****]

I feel a big issue here mind, and something people have grumbled about and I understand the grumbles - is the site automatically sending 'spanks' or 'viewed your profile' when doing stuff like the matches or other browsing

I'm not sure if both paid tiers have the 'hide your tracks' if you view a profile and don't want the other person to be notified - which is great if you don't want people to get the wrong idea, 

Too much leads to the "they viewed my profile" or "they sent a spank" so they may be interested - but in reality you might expect someone interested to actually send a message

[Th****]

10 hours ago, eyemblacksheep said:

I feel a big issue here mind, and something people have grumbled about and I understand the grumbles - is the site automatically sending 'spanks' or 'viewed your profile' when doing stuff like the matches or other browsing

I'm not sure if both paid tiers have the 'hide your tracks' if you view a profile and don't want the other person to be notified - which is great if you don't want people to get the wrong idea, 

Too much leads to the "they viewed my profile" or "they sent a spank" so they may be interested - but in reality you might expect someone interested to actually send a message

People taking someone viewing their profile as confirmation of interest is an absolutely wild thing to me. All it means is that someone looked at your profile in order to gain information or out of curiosity. That's it. It's necessary to view a profile to see what's on it to *then* determine if the viewer may or may not be interested in any further interaction from there. 

[Wi****]

1 hour ago, ThaliaV said:

People taking someone viewing their profile as confirmation of interest is an absolutely wild thing to me. All it means is that someone looked at your profile in order to gain information or out of curiosity. That's it. It's necessary to view a profile to see what's on it to *then* determine if the viewer may or may not be interested in any further interaction from there. 

That's true. Viewing a profile means nothing. But the process is not carved in stone, but it is what we have. Viewing a profile and then clicking on spank is an invitation to an introduction.

You can accidentally click on either one, but clicking on both isn't an accident.

Just because someone views my profile doesn't mean that I am going to respond to that.

But, when people view a profile and click on spank, they should add reading the profile they click on before clicking spank.

Unfortunately, that is rarely the case.
But when someone responds, those who have visited and clicked spank, should at least be courteous. There's no call for rudeness because they didn't bother to read the profile.

I personally make it a point to courteous to everyone that contacts me, even if they don't read my profile.

That doesn't take a lot of effort.

Respect is a word that is bandied around a lot, but it appears that courtesy isn't included in Respect.

[Ar****]

11 hours ago, eyemblacksheep said:

I'm not sure if both paid tiers have the 'hide your tracks' if you view a profile and don't want the other person to be notified - which is great if you don't want people to get the wrong idea

They do 😊

But I feel the timer could do to be longer. The number of times I've gone to report a profile (which you can't even do if they've hidden you) then by the time I've selected the reason, uploaded a screenshot and added my text the bar has timed out is too many to consider. Boom, they now have a notification I've visited them. It's even worse when not upgraded as it doesn't matter how quick you are you CANNOT visit a person's profile to report rule-breaking activity without it being shown. Which lowers incentive, frankly.

[ey****]

9 hours ago, Aranhis said:

But I feel the timer could do to be longer.

Ha, yes

So when I had paid I did used to use it all the time.  Consider of course I'd look at profiles for a lot of reasons - sometimes for folk who were recommended in the newsfeed, but often from folk in the forums and pretty much through curiousity in the sense of who are you, what you about, world building and that.   And this doesn't necessarily mean interested in romance/play/D/s etc though there's a few of the ladies where I've thought "well we vibe well on the forums..." but checking their profile would find that they're not what I'm looking for - or - usually, I'm not what they are looking for and I aint gonna try to change their mind ("you said you want someone monogamous who lives no more than an hour from you, and don't want casual play... I live at the other end of the country and am not monogamous., want to meet for casual play.. deal?!") I've interestingly never had an angry, curious or concerned message from a woman "why you looking at my profile?" regardless of if I hid or not, but, ahem - have from a few guys (and of course there's been forum threads from guys complaining about men looking at their profile...) and yeah this timer is tight

I'm gonna be honest, I don't even look at spanks - when I did I found them a complete waste of time, although it was getting a bit weird an ex-girlfriend kept spanking me. Although she did at least first message me with a "does your wife know you're here?" - erm, yep they do - they're usually in the same room as me when I'm chatting shit   

Anyway, where was I.   Yeah, honestly I find the "who checked me out" and unwelcome distraction and I'd never assume anything.  The spanks, maybe not sent by accident - they're all blurred out for me now, but when they weren't I would check out the other person first to see if I was interested in a response - and... ahem.... "this person hasn't kept within our guidelines" was a lot of the profiles  

[Ki****]

17 hours ago, eyemblacksheep said:

Ha, yes

So when I had paid I did used to use it all the time.  Consider of course I'd look at profiles for a lot of reasons - sometimes for folk who were recommended in the newsfeed, but often from folk in the forums and pretty much through curiousity in the sense of who are you, what you about, world building and that.   And this doesn't necessarily mean interested in romance/play/D/s etc though there's a few of the ladies where I've thought "well we vibe well on the forums..." but checking their profile would find that they're not what I'm looking for - or - usually, I'm not what they are looking for and I aint gonna try to change their mind ("you said you want someone monogamous who lives no more than an hour from you, and don't want casual play... I live at the other end of the country and am not monogamous., want to meet for casual play.. deal?!") I've interestingly never had an angry, curious or concerned message from a woman "why you looking at my profile?" regardless of if I hid or not, but, ahem - have from a few guys (and of course there's been forum threads from guys complaining about men looking at their profile...) and yeah this timer is tight

I'm gonna be honest, I don't even look at spanks - when I did I found them a complete waste of time, although it was getting a bit weird an ex-girlfriend kept spanking me. Although she did at least first message me with a "does your wife know you're here?" - erm, yep they do - they're usually in the same room as me when I'm chatting shit   

Anyway, where was I.   Yeah, honestly I find the "who checked me out" and unwelcome distraction and I'd never assume anything.  The spanks, maybe not sent by accident - they're all blurred out for me now, but when they weren't I would check out the other person first to see if I was interested in a response - and... ahem.... "this person hasn't kept within our guidelines" was a lot of the profiles  

Every single word. Sometimes I’m just curious. And that’s it. I do find a plethora of “straight” men messaging me, as well. Or the initial message is generic and banal. So I will ask a specific question. And 99/100 it’s not answered. Blocked.

[Th****]

Yeah, someone initiated a conversation, said a bunch of nonsense, then blocked me. Quite the experience. 

[Ju****]

Lol everyday. Especially by guys in the 20s who either get butt hurt or a reality cjeckb

[Th****]

1 minute ago, JuicyGen said:

Lol everyday. Especially by guys in the 20s who either get butt hurt or a reality cjeckb

Such delicate creatures. 

[Ar****]

Something I don't think anyone has mentioned yet in the thread (apologies if they have - it's late, I'm tired, and I'm not re-reading five pages of comments)...

 

There is never "no reason".

 

The reason may be poor. Questionable. Unfathomable. Might be nothing more than that the person doing the blocking is a dick. But the false premise of the OP should be noted.

[Th****]

41 minutes ago, Aranhis said:

Something I don't think anyone has mentioned yet in the thread (apologies if they have - it's late, I'm tired, and I'm not re-reading five pages of comments)...

 

There is never "no reason".

 

The reason may be poor. Questionable. Unfathomable. Might be nothing more than that the person doing the blocking is a dick. But the false premise of the OP should be noted.

Agreed, I'd not seen it mentioned but had thought the same thing. I'd not said as much though because I figured if I brought it up there would be manties in a twist.

[No****]

Yeah so frustrating

[ey****]

6 hours ago, Aranhis said:

Something I don't think anyone has mentioned yet in the thread (apologies if they have - it's late, I'm tired, and I'm not re-reading five pages of comments)...

 

There is never "no reason".

I did On page 2.  Though that was 3 years ago to be fair But it's no harm in repeating 3 years later

I did however also say the reason might not be obvious.

 

[ge****]

5 hours ago, Notnormal92 said:

Yeah so frustrating

It's only frustrating because *you* make it frustrating - if you accept that people may choose to use the site differently to you and have their own reasons for blocking (which may not always be bad ones) then frustration simply doesn't come into it.